<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Call me yours. by LovingYouThatWay, tit4eto</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338683">Call me yours.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingYouThatWay/pseuds/LovingYouThatWay'>LovingYouThatWay</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tit4eto/pseuds/tit4eto'>tit4eto</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Devotion. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha Kim Hongjoong, Alpha Park Seonghwa, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Biting, Bonding, Bottom Kim Hongjoong, Claiming Bites, Falling In Love, Family Secrets, Love Confessions, M/M, Mates, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Misunderstandings, Pack Family, Past Violence, Possessive Behavior, Power Dynamics, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Stubborn mates, There will be a lot of fighting, Top Park Seonghwa, Werewolf Mates, Wolf Pack, Wolf clans matter here, Wolves, arranged mating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:08:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>82,252</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingYouThatWay/pseuds/LovingYouThatWay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tit4eto/pseuds/tit4eto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Claiming was mutual act, both parties had to receive and give, in order to merge into one.</p><p>Seonghwa was an alpha heir who stopped living with his parents at the age of 20 and found a job as a swimming trainer at a fancy gym building. He was short –tempered, modest guy, whose heart was sinking into a pool of one sided love. He was irresponsible towards his clan until he received a call from his father.<br/>His life is taking a crazy turn as he gets asked to mate with a boy from another clan and take his brother Chan's place at the Arena. </p><p>He doesn't think that he would ever let Hongjoong close to his heart, until the other alpha proves him wrong and show him a whole different world.<br/>It had all started with a bite, continued with a fight and ended up with something that Seonghwa had never expected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Devotion. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>282</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Mating.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this is another colaboration of us! We hope that you will enjoy this as much as we enjoyed writing it and please, if you like it - comment and tell us what you think ^^</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chapter1</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was about time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the perfect time.           </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t  sure when the hurried handjobs and stolen kisses turned into feelings, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't in it for the sex from the beginning. If he really thought about it, he'd always noticed Wooyoung, faintly remembered trailing his eyes on the younger boy through the reflections of the wall-length pool mirror as they ran through their morning routines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I'm just checking him out’,  he had thought then. He knew better now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was always that nagging feeling at the back of Seonghwa’s  head which told him flat out that Wooyoung simply didn’t  want the same things Seonghwa wanted. He told to himself</span>
  <em>
    <span> - it's okay. Wooyoung is wild, he doesn’t need commitments</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His only commitments were his long ass swimming sessions, his fast learning, and the parties. There was no time for anything other than a quick blowjob in the shower, or a messy jerk-off session in the cabins on the pool back rooms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa repeated this like a mantra when Wooyoung swiped his fingers across Seonghwa’s hips and dipped his tongue into his collarbones- </span>
  <em>
    <span>this is just a distraction, this means nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost believed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until the day he woke up and realized that he had been deep fucking in love with Wooyoung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hot bodies of the two boys collided against the wall as Wooyoung was the one to take the hit as his back crushed against the cold surface and he bit Seonghwa’s bottom lip, feeling his hardness pressing against his thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone’s eager.”  Wooyoung stated out the obvious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa was more than eager, but his need to get Wooyoung fucked was playing games with his feelings. He knew it was wrong, but he decided to think about all the warning signals in his mind later. Wooyoung pushed him back hard, watching him step back when not having his body close made Seonghwa eager to reach out, grab the other and place him against the nearest surface, which happened to be a  work desk. Seonghwa gripped at the edges of Wooyoung’s tight pants, skillfully removing them. He trailed his hands along those beautiful legs, watching how Wooyoung removed his sweater and vest as he was half naked now, frowning at Seonghwa.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are so weird today…”  He mumbled and screwed his eyes, gazing at Seonghwa expectedly. As if studying him. As if watching exactly how much thoughts he was putting into his actions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he had no kind of doubts. Seonghwa was purely lusting to fuck him, and as he unzipped his training top, Wooyoung calmed down.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Several objects fall from the desk where Wooyoung was sitting. He pulled Seonghwa closer, crushing their lips together and the taller one shuddered, his eyes still noticing the smallest details of Wooyoung’s perfection. His hand slid down fast, palming Wooyoung’s crotch and the boy’s eyes closed. Wooyoung whined and tried to stop his hand but Seonghwa was fast, capturing his lips into a sloppy kiss while his hand slid under the other’s thick boxers, wrapping around his length.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop talking, you called me first.”  The black haired one’s voice cracked, betrayed him and Wooyoung was about to protest, but Seonghwa’s hand just continued the fast pace of stroking that made the other’s legs feel jelly and his sweet voice was coming out in the form of moans.     </span>
  
  <span>“Yes… just like that, moan for me….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooyoung groaned, but something about Seonghwa was distracting him. He was kissing him, he was stroking him a little bit more intense and fast than usual, as if he wanted to finish him and then leave him behind, as if that didn’t mean a thing for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smirked.    </span>
  
  <span>“You are so exciting, have I told you that before?”  His hand moved to the back of Seonghwa’s neck and he scratched the heated skin there, letting out several satisfied gasps.       </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was done in the matter of minutes, his pleased groans were echoing through the walls as the desk that he was leaned over was hitting against the wall by every thrust that Seonghwa was giving. The older was gripping Wooyoung’s waist, dragging him towards himself in order to keep his cock buried deep. He was biting his lips hard, listening to Wooyoung instead and the other was gripping the desk so hard that it almost made him feel sorry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa was aware of when to stop. He knew how much of him Wooyoung could take, he knew when to put the line and exactly where to push. He edged Wooyoung with series of hard thrusts, the fast skin slapping made his emotions burst and his eyes shut close when the overwhelming feeling at the pit of his gut made him go in heaven. He spilled his seed in the other’s ass, not giving a single damn about how would that make him feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooyoung followed quickly after, stroking himself until he orgasmed in his palm, shaking like he just got his most pleasurable sex. Seonghwa leaned down and left a kiss on his shoulder, his feelings expanding dangerously when Wooyoung’s head snapped to the side and his perfect profile got into his view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You fuck me as if you love me.”  He said, making each one of Seonghwa’s feelings burn down and bring him down to fucking hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scoffed and pulled back, reaching to the side to pick up tissues and just tossed the pack to Wooyoung, once he was done with himself. He pulled his sport pants up and rested his back against the opposite wall, watching silently at Wooyoung who was struggling to wipe his cum off.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Next time I should pick up condoms.”     Wooyoung said and shot him a wink. His wild nature didn’t indicate that action as something bad, he even eyed Seonghwa up and down, biting his bottom lip at the sight of him, still panting from the quick sex.   “I’m lucky though. I have no idea what rolls into your mind, but damn, you love fucking me, don’t you?”  He said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa flashed him a side smile. His muscles tensed and he was so ready to speak his mind out, but the fear of losing the other’s interest was always stopping him. Wooyoung was clear with what he wanted. He was visiting Seonghwa’s swimming lessons to only get pinned by him later and feel his cock balls deep. He wanted lust, but he also wanted his full attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted Seonghwa like a kid wanted his toys. He wanted to feel, but he was scared of dedication. And Seonghwa…. Seonghwa was just too fucked up on his own to wish of having someone’s love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Are you somewhat falling for me now?”  He asked with so much mockery that he wanted to praise and award himself with an Oscar. His hands stuck into his pockets and he tried to ignore the pang of his heart, reminding himself that Wooyoung would call him soon. He’d come for his dick for sure. His tongue flicked, a metal ball poking through his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooyoung had his eyes on him for a moment, he looked as if he was taken aback by something, but then he stepped closer to Seonghwa and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t talk nonsense.” He mumbled before turning on his heels, showing Seonghwa a clear view of his fine ass. That damn ass…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Farewell, lifeguard. Don’t be too sexy at the pool.”  Wooyoung smacked his own butt and left the room, stealing away everything that he plastered over Seonghwa’s heart.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> ************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know what an unhealthy relationship looks like when I see one.”  Yunho popped on the chair next to Seonghwa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was too damn sunny that day. The hotel where they were assigned to work at for the summer had the widest fucking pool and Seonghwa needed not just one, but several people to help him with the task. Hundreds of strangers were passing by his eyesight for the time being, some of them trying to hit on him, but his lost soul was pinned to just one person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Working at the Lotte Hotel was good. He was a local of Jeju Island, stopped living with his parents at the age of 20 and found a job as a swimming trainer at a fancy gym building.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was part-time working on different places from time to time, switching jobs more than he switched hookups, ending up being called not only a player but also irresponsible jackass, since he was often late for the lessons that he was holding at the fucking pool. His life was definitely wild, but he still thought of himself as a modest person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything made a bad turn when he got to train a very sexy, very crazy, very open minded boy who wanted to swim better than a lifeguard in the matter of a month. Seonghwa was skeptic about what Wooyoung wanted to achieve, but he didn’t just got proven wrong, but also got himself played like a fool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fell for the sweet poison of that snake and went back to get bitten by him in the same way for months. His random hookups stopped and he was holding his swimming lessons more regularly, just to meet up with Wooyoung and fuck him briefly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sadly, sex was not bringing feelings in a wild heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wooyoung was just his fuck buddy and a friend, controlling not only Seonghwa’s sex life but also his personal space. He wanted to occupy Seonghwa’s daily life and suck in his temper, slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relationship?” Seonghwa scoffed at his long term –friend-only.     </span>
  
  <span>“Please, you can come up with better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yunho shrugged.     </span>
  
  <span>“I’m just wondering. How a guy like you…. Stands the complaining of a sweet bitch like him. Look around, dude, you can get your dick sucked by literally everyone.”  He said, making a hand motion towards Seonghwa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa looked away, annoyed. He flicked the tongue piercing against his teeth and let it poke out of his lips. He had been feeding his ego hungrily through the years of self-recognition and he had been working out enough to show out as a tall and well-toned guy. What made him different from the other fuckboys was the fact that he was riding a very expensive bike and listened to death metal, had a tongue piercing and a tattooed pentagram on his entire back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So a guy like him stood for a short –tempered, still modest guy, whose heart was sinking into a pool of one sided love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those were the most painful ones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Been there, done that. My dick doesn’t want to be sucked just by anyone. Enough pep talking. Eyes on the pool, Yunho.”  He said and then his phone rang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both him and Yunho rolled their eyes over the screen as the name displayed there made Seonghwa’s heart to make a weird flip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Won’t you pick up?”  Yunho asked, holding the phone out to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa took it in his hand, hesitating for only a moment before he responded. The raspy voice on the other side of the line brought so much to his heart that he felt how his nerves pulled to the edge. He hadn’t heard of him in months. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I want you to come back home, son.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> *********</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa was holding a photo of a boy. His age, they mentioned bluntly as they introduced him with this person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kim Hongjoong, they mentioned his name as well, but it was all a fog in front of his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was only 2 hours back into his clan mansion on the beach and he wished to jump on his motorcycle and drive off back to his own life. The life that he was building for 2 years, out there, doing everything without his parent’s money and power. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His name wasn’t mentioned anywhere, he became a ghost for everybody and just lived the ordinary life of the ordinary Seonghwa, who’s fucking name meant nothing for people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was getting fired by his part time bosses, he worked his ass for idiots, paid rent for a small apartment and now this? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His pulse raised as he looked down at that photo, still quite confused of the fact that this stranger there </span>
  <em>
    <span>belonged </span>
  </em>
  <span>to him. Just like that, out of the fucking blue. It was a street photo, taken secretly by some of his father’s men who probably stalked the boy, just to check if he was quite the good match. The boy had a wide smile, red messy hair and pierced ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa clutched the photograph and looked up to meet his father’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is Chan?”  He asked directly, noticing the cold expression that his father had on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to your room.”  He said, making everything inside of him to burn for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa had perfected repose to the point that he would just let it pass through him and ignore it, so it wasn’t hard for him to hold back his anger and just stay spread on the armchair inside their wide ballroom and argue with his father. Just because he had the power to do that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no place here. I have my own apartment.”  He tried to say, but the man who stood in front of him just smiled, making it clear for Seonghwa that he had no power over him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your… apartment?”  the man scoffed.         “Go to your room. You are gonna meet him tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Meet who, dad?” Seonghwa stood up and threw the photo that he was holding right at his father’s feet.          “</span>
  <em>
    <span>This stranger that you wanna hook me up with</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch your words.”  His father growled, kneeling down to take the crumpled photo and straighten it up. His narrow eyes looked up at Seonghwa and the heavy burden that fell on his shoulders finally won over his pride. He bent his head down, showing respect to the stronger male and then his father picked his chin up and forced his stare up again.          “I know that you are angry at me, you might still hate me. This is why I will let Chan explain the reason behind this.”  He said and pushed the photo against Seonghwa’s chest, passing him by arrogantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caught the paper before it could fall again and closed his eyes, repeating himself that he needed to hold back. Talk to Chan and hold it in until he get a proper explanation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*********</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t…. fucking do this.”  Seonghwa threw the tie once that he couldn’t put it around his neck properly. The reflection in the mirror was making him hate that day even more. He got his hair pushed to the side by some random bitch, who introduced herself as Jenie or whatever, the same bitch who used to make everyone inside that mansion look like dolls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That fake image of theirs was famous for everyone and only the ghost boy of the Park’s wasn’t a part of any of the family dinners, he was never on ceremonies, the clan meetings, he was never witnessing any of Chan and Jia’s fights at the Arena, he didn’t even feel the need to be part of that family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only person who was able to reach his perimeter was Yunho. </span>
  <em>
    <span>His personal keeper</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The beta who grew up side by side with him, a boy who was taught everything just as equally as Seonghwa himself was. The keeper was also meant to be an advisor, guardian and protector - the one that was supposed to bring reason and logic in times of need.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Exactly like now,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Seonghwa thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I look like them.”  Seonghwa started taking clothes off, starting with the blazer that got prepared for him for that dinner. He couldn’t stand being in his own skin, but Chan had made it clear that he needed him, and Seonghwa was still recovering from that previous conversation with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was barely a day back at the mansion which his clan owned and he already wanted to throw himself out of the window and let the sea take his body away. That would feel better than to perform the ceremony that his entire family had planned for him, while he was swaying his ass in a fancy hotel, thinking that his love issues with Wooyoung had a deep meaning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are one of them.” Yunho snickered behind him, and Seonghwa could clearly see him in the reflection the mirror.          “Dude, for better or worse you already agreed to contribute. You can at least enjoy ruining their image?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa wanted to agree and disagree. The conversation that he held with his older brother Chan was brief, intense and long story short - Chan had put some facts down that shocked Seonghwa enough to make him feel bad for the other. He might had been dismissive over his clan members, but if there was someone who could ground him with just a few words, that was Chan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa owed him every breath that he was taking and their connection was probably the strongest one of his bloodline. Brothers who counted on each other, no matter how hard or dangerous things could get. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan had once risked his own safety for him, two years ago. Now he wanted Seonghwa to stand up for him when he needed his help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To hear that Chan’s mate and wife Jia had lost a child was terrifying. Seonghwa might be a dick, but there was still a weak part of him that was able to feel remorse over some of his family members. Jia was important to him almost as much as his brother. He had spent many years being taught personally by her, she taught him of the etics, the elite rules and everything that a young alpha would need when they grow up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was pregnant during the territorial fights and she lost the baby during one of them, risking her own health. She was weakening, with that the main Park couple was losing against the others, in terms of power and place in the society. It would be scandalous for the other clans to hear of the fall of the Parks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan and Seonghwa’s parents had quickly come up with a plan to take care of the gap. They wanted to heal the family wound by using their younger son, who was no longer even a part of their society. Seonghwa had ditched his life as an alpha years ago. He had no idea when was the last time that he had even transformed into a wolf. And now he was about to meet and bond to a stranger that his parents had found for him. Some young careless alpha from the Kim clan. If Seonghwa had paid attention to the ranks, he would know if his future mate would be strong, if he could even stand through one battle and be a good fit to the Parks. He probably was a good match, otherwise his mother would never agree to this bullshit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to… stand up for Chan. He is right… this family won’t survive a fall like that. Even though….” Seonghwa turned around to look at his friend Yunho and shook his head. He still felt the buzzing nervousness at the pit of his stomach.          “.... this is a choice that I make. I fuck up myself and it’s just …. sad.” He sighed deep and undid several buttons of his shirt, pulling the sleeves up to his elbows. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror again, liking the guy who was staring back at him more now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re doing better now. You’ll stand a chance during the fights, you know.”   It was clear for Seonghwa that Yunho was too supportive on the matter than usual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bastard.” Seonghwa laughed, turning around when there was nothing else to be done with his looks. He stretched his hands to the sides and sighed.          “How do I look?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re fire.”  A suggestive wink was sent at the alpha which he chose not to notice in the mirror. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thirty minutes later they were at the ballroom, which was occupied by so many people that Seonghwa’s head spun immediately. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to fancy parties, fake people holding glasses of wine, spreading rumors and blackmailed the entire clan even though they were currently spread all over the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Attention seekers, bitches, bastards, so many scents mixed in the air that Seonghwa couldn’t wait to pick up his first glass of whatever and dull the nervousness. He picked the glasses one after another while making his way to his family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Strangers greeted him on the way, praising him for making the right choice and damn, it was almost amusing how thick were the lies that his mother had spread already. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa saw a flashlight right when he was gulping down a glass of wine and he glared at the person who snapped a photo of him, showing him a nice view of the fakest smile that he could pull off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yunho was somewhere, probably spotting the family members faster than Seonghwa did, but he thanked his brother the most in times like this, because Chan knew what damage these parties were doing to his younger brother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t get wasted yet.”  Chan mumbled in his ear and pulled him to the side, judging the fixations of Seonghwa’s outfit as his own was just a perfect example of everything that Seonghwa hated about his family. Chan wore a strict suit, with the tie and everything. His blonde hair was pushed back, making him look older than he was, and one look to the side expanded Seonghwa’s view. He saw Jia, dressed in black, her entire body covered by the dress and next to her stood his mother Dara, tall and magnificent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need another drink.” Seonghwa pushed his brother aside and met a waitress midway, picking up two glasses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seonghwa, not now. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He is here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  Chan hissed, but he ignored the irritated comments and just kept drinking, reminding himself that this was the first time in two years that he would face his mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan could go fuck himself for awhile if he thought that Seonghwa was </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>insensitive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dara locked eyes with him and his knees got weak for a moment. He averted his eyes quickly, meeting the tall figure of his father Taeyeon, talking to a group of men, there was a small crowd surrounding them and if Seonghwa paid more attention, he would probably see the boy from the photo there, but he didn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was nervously finishing his drink, going all the way back to the previous day where his last worries were surrounding Wooyoung’s wild persona. The boy hadn’t called him yet, which wasn’t surprising him. Their last time had put some thoughts into Wooyoung’s head and he would ignore Seonghwa for weeks now, trying to erase the feelings that he was probably aware of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop fucking around.”  Chan pushed him delicately, holding his elbow until they were close enough to the family.        “I know that you don’t wanna do this, but just …”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not now, just don’t talk about it.” Seonghwa hissed back and shrugged his arm away from Chan, noticing the small disappointment that flashed through Chan’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ignored it, being caught by the attention of some men whose nasty smiles made him feel nervous all over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come here, son.” Taecyeon was the next one to pull him, probably noticing his scandalized expression. The fake smile that his father had was hiding something else that nobody else would notice. Seonghwa was this close to return the look when he got caught by the hand by someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His whole body shivered and he frowned down at a red haired boy, who’s wide smile was so false that Seonghwa wanted to throw a hit at his face and run away. His own lips twitched when his father’s hand laid on his shoulder and he couldn’t even say something, when the man started talking instead of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are going to announce the news soon. I give you time to chat.”  He said and left them alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa looked at his surroundings, sweating by the anxiety that he was starting to have. He didn’t even think twice before he grabbed the red haired boy’s hand and started dragging him out to the balcony. He locked his eyes at his feet as more flashlights caught them running out of the ballroom. If there was something that could stop his episode before it even started, that was smoking, so Seonghwa knew exactly when to start hiding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He released the hand that he was holding once they were out and the fresh night air ran through his hair, making him feel free for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lightened up one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Park Seonghwa.”   The red haired one noticed how a cigarette was pulled from the pack and within a few seconds was already in between Seonghwa’s lips.       “Is it always so crowded here?”  He gestured towards the hall which they’d conveniently left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa pulled from the cigarette, blowing the smoke right at the other’s face. If Yunho was there, he’d call him rude and ignorant, but he just had his own way of pushing people away from himself. And he had more than one reason to not talk to that boy, who’s name he didn’t even remember. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your name again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other’s eyes narrowed at the question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want this to work out, you’d better start learning.”  The other stated without even blinking. It was clear that he was alpha, even though his small frame would never suggest it from afar. Yet the vibe which Seonghwa could clearly feel was there - dominant predator. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teach me, then.” Seonghwa challenged, his own eyes glowing back with the same seriousness. Seonghwa was sure that he was shooting that guy with arrows, not letting him even inch closer to himself, but that wasn’t going to change. If they expected him to work for the two families, the same guy who had nothing to do with that life for years, then they had to expect nothing but primitive failure. And Seonghwa was taught how to survive, so he wasn’t going to feel the hit that hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kim Hongjoong.”  The red haired one announced proudly, as he lifted even his chin up with a few millimeters and if Seonghwa wasn’t paying enough attention, he’d totally miss it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa stared at his cocky posture, flicking his piercing out of his mouth for just a second. After that he laughed.          “Not for long.”  He said with a raise of his eyebrows and threw the cigarette down, crushing it with his shoe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly.”  The other was completely unfazed with his comment         “That’s why we have to put great show once we’re back there.”  He once again gestured towards the hall, but his eyes did not waver from Seonghwa’s face as he continued.           “You’d better not cringe the next time I touch you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Easy solution for you then, </span>
  <em>
    <span>baby</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Seonghwa kept his bickering, eyes studying the other’s face in a judging way.           “Don’t touch me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry. I have better things to do than wasting my life at some pool party like someone else.”  The other obviously lost interest in any further conversation with the host, so without second glance at Seonghwa, he swung his way gracefully into the crowd inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa stared after him, his look lingering on the spot where Hongjoong last stood. He had no idea how to describe the irritation that filled him up slowly, but the realization that the short bastard just blackmailed him made him laugh. He was short, witty, having the confidence of a great person and the appearance of an ordinary bitch. His last comment was clearly said in order to offend him, but that was Seonghwa’s own choice, just like the one that he had taken to agree to this marriage and leave behind the ordinary life that he cherished. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes and counted to three. Then he followed his </span>
  <em>
    <span>fiance </span>
  </em>
  <span>back into the hall to hear the greatest lie, spoken from the lips of his </span>
  <em>
    <span>charming </span>
  </em>
  <span>mother. She was already announcing their wedding date when Seonghwa stood besides Hongjoong without sparing him a look. The two of them fit in the atmosphere, sharing smiles to the crowd, having their families surrounding them and if spotted from aside, they probably looked happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But everyone in that hall was either a fraud or double-faced liar, so there was no need to dig deeper into the matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What Seonghwa understood from his mother’s words was that the wedding was about to be held here, in the same hall, after a week.</span>
  <em>
    <span> What a lovely couple, probably loving each other too much to even wait that long</span>
  </em>
  <span>, was what she was trying to conceive into everyone’s heads. Some might have called them destined, mates who were fated to meet and end up together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa needed one look aside at his fiance to figure out what kind of a person he really was. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A strong liar</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked back at his mother and made another fast decision for himself. To get drunk until all of this doesn’t sting him as much as it did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***********</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The days had flown barely noticeable from the hectic preparation for the grand ceremony that the Parks not only required for but insisted on. As if it even mattered how many guests were going to attend it, but apparently there was a standard which had to be uphold. The red haired was disgusted by all that upper class status bullshit.  <em>Wealthiest members of the society, his ass</em>. That did not count for anything once you were on the ring and stood your own ground against your opponent, who in Hongjoong’s best case -  was </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>two sizes bigger than him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong had never lost a fight. And he had no intention of starting now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him so much time to get where he wanted that he couldn’t wait for all that false act to be over it, so he could focus on his combat skills. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It came as a blessing when the Park clan made the offer for arranged marriage - merging of the two clans - Kim and Park - in order to obtain more political power against the other clans. It was no secret that the Kims were losing the fights with embarrassing results. His parents were getting old, and fuck the rules, which allowed only mated couples to participate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were dozen clans that ruled South Korea. Each one of those families had the power to conquer territories, but when a threat came – they had to be united. The smartest, the strongest clan for the last decade was Park, but that was only because they knew how to play their cards. Park Chan and his mate Park Jia, coming from a pure alpha lineage, started losing their grasp over their power,  so the clan needed their other </span>
  <em>
    <span>available </span>
  </em>
  <span>pure alpha heir to straighten their position as the strongest clan - by creating the perfect bond and outstand the other families. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s where Hongjoong came into the picture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did not mind being used as a leverage into the Parks schemes as long as he could bring his own clan’s glory back. Besides his own almost everyone else’s spirit was crushed, because if there were no available alphas to mate to, then you could not join the territory fights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And they were losing part after part of their lands. Which had made Hongjoong obsessed with the idea of getting so strong that no one could oppose him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The turn of events were in his advantage, actually. He did not need the Seonghwa guy. He only needed the mated status, which came along with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really want to do it?”  He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not even notice when San, his keeper, entered his prep room. The stylists - fashion, make-up and so on - were already with him and deemed him a successful project of theirs. His azure wedding tuxedo was a complete with Seonghwa one’s. At least that’s what he’d heard from the tailor when he’d been taking his measurements. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt suffocated by all that aristocracy obligations. He’d been perfectly fine with just leaving his mark over Seonghwa’s skin as long as it was done and over with. Yet, he had to suppress his reservations for now. He’d continue with all that pretence until he got what he needed out of this arrangement and then he’d proceed with his own plan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s quite late for the <em>‘let’s run towards the sunset</em>’ ideas, my friend.”  Even if he had some doubts, it was really not the time of having them anymore. If Hongjoong backdowned now, that would mean that he had no honor. And he’d be damned if he gave any further means to the other clans which they could use against his family to bring them down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can always decide that the husband is bad with you and kill him.” San shrugged, rested on the doorway before another figure showed up and towered over him. When Hongjoong looked aside, he spotted his step brother Mingi, who entered the room with a wide smile on his face and a much greater suit than himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I met your soon to be husband.”  Mingi said, taking off his sunglasses as he ignored the weird looks that the stylists were throwing at him and San. He approached the red haired one and dared to touch his fancy hair carefully, whistling quietly.        “We smoked weed together. The guy is stoned enough to not know who am I. I took advantage of that. Fancy hair by the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong slapped the taller one’s hand away from his hair.        “As if it was not enough he was almost wasted and now he is stoned?”  The alpha faced his brother and just scolded him.     “Good job, Mingi… just terrific.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi put the glasses back on the bridge of his nose, bumping his shoulder against Hongjoong’s one in a playful manner.       “Of course, did you expect much of me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop taking his attention.”  San narrowed his eyes, but his bored expression just showed everyone that he said that just because someone had to.        “There’s no time, let's go back to the hall, Mingi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong could always rely on San to take care of his younger brother who sometimes was just a tad too much of trouble. The both of them left the room loudly, bickering as always. The sight was endearing for the red haired one, since he had long prepared for what was to come next. He wanted to waste his last moments of solitude in silence, however his wish was not going to be honored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next one to show up in the room was his dear friend Yeosang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is one hundred percent not as devastating as I thought he would be.”  The guy said, welcoming himself with a graceful pace and a wide knowing smile on his face. He took a good look over Hongjoong and ignored the stylists as well, making himself some space next to his friend.         “And you… look like someone who would fit perfectly next to a tall, black haired beast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna switch?”  Hongjoong laughed out loud since he still was not sure how to feel about this joke. It was a dumb from all of them to assume that the guy went under the radar, because of some dark secret that the family wanted to hide, right? Like an ugly face or deformed body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, at least Hongjoong did not expect to be surprised that much when he’d met Seonghwa for the first time at the ‘engagement party’ as they’d called it. If nothing else, at least the guy was not scary to look at. However, there was much to be said about his character. He was absolute dumbass who drowned his problems with addictions - smoking, drinking and now due to Mingi’s courtesy, stoning as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “No need for such offer.” Yeosang smiled, taking Hongjoong’s hand in his own and brought it to his lips to show affection and respect. An unnecessary act for a friend, but Yeosang loved to be extra.         “You can take the eye candy, I’m sure that at least one of his friends will be as good looking as him. See you at the party.”  He winked at Hongjoong and spun on his heels with the same grace, walking away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After the brief exchange of words with the people that he considered close enough, it was finally time for the ceremony to start. He was of course, kindly reminded by his parents. The compassionate look that they shared on their faces only made him take a deep breath, before joining them outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We talked about it. Smile.”  He almost ordered them and started walking the way to the ballroom of the Park’s mansion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun </span>
  </em>
  <span>was about to begin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ceremony was only for society reasons. To be officially claimed as a mated person. It was more like keeping a record of the mixed bloodlines. The vows which the both of them exchanged were obviously not something they had to personally prepare and brainstorm over. The ritual was too convenient, nothing special in it - the grooms walking down the lane, ceasing each breath in the place with their presence once they were in front of the priest. Then the vows followed, a brief touch of lips and that was it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was mated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How very special. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the look over his </span>
  <em>
    <span>husband</span>
  </em>
  <span>’s face, Hongjoong could tell he was not that impressed, as well. At least there was one thing that they shared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From then on, everything was a bit hectic. People were coming to great them, to wish them luck and happy and blessed marriage - which was a nice way to say: Yep, good genes, go for it, right away. The babies are waiting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was already night time, when Hongjoong realized how wasted his </span>
  <em>
    <span>mate </span>
  </em>
  <span>was. He shook his head but commented nothing. If the guy wanted to pass right in front of everyone, it was his choice. He absolutely refused to nurse him later. The looks which were thrown at his direction, the ones that were clearly saying <em>‘we know what’s going to follow next’</em> were making Hongjoong sick. Just because he was the smaller one they assumed he was weaker, and that bruised his pride to the point that he wanted to growl at them. The moments he was close to showing all of those fuckers, exactly how wrong they were, either San or Mingi were beside him and handling the situation. They were used to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Such a freak show.” Hongjoong took a big gulp of his drink as he was carefully observing the people that were moving around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I the only person who’s actually having fun here?” Mingi asked, eyeing the faces of the other two and just when San growled lowly at him, Mingi pulled his arms up in defense.       “Come on, look at how fucked up everyone here is. Look there.” He literally grabbed San’s head and turned it so they could face a nearby table where some old men were laughing at some joke that a tall and obviously drunk fucker was telling them. The whole sight was so exaggerated that he couldn’t stop laughing. Or he was just too wasted to care.        “The guy thinks he is so funny, the rest are forced to laugh just because he is some sort of a noble old fucker. I’d laugh my ass off at how stupid he really is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>San was not that impressed by the situation, so he just tilted his head aside in order to have clear view of Mingi’s face    “Exactly how much did you drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi smirked mischievously.       “As much as Hongjoong’s dear <em>husband</em>.”  He said and eyed his brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t stop repeating that word in every second sentence of yours, I swear..”  Hongjoong glared at his brother meaningfully. It was as if Seonghwa actually heard them, because suddenly he appeared out of nowhere. He had tossed off his suit top, alongside with the vest and was currently showing off his toned body that was peaking through his white shirt. His sleeves were once again rolled up to the elbows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop glaring.” San warned in time for Hongjoong to look away and take another glass of champagne. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Such class, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need a distraction.”  Seonghwa said once he approached them, looking way too heated up for someone who was supposed to have fun on his own wedding. His hair was getting stuck to the sides of his face, neck glistering with faint sweat drops,as if he just ran a mile and yet, his absent eyes showed just how frustrated he was.       “Just imagine the kind of a conversation one can have with their mother after two years of ignorance?”  He looked at Mingi who was nodding his head understandingly and a moment after Mingi was beside Seonghwa, handing him a glass of wine that he pulled off a table. The alpha drank it nearly in one sip and handed the glass back at Mingi before he continued his story.           “Can I stay here… with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi nodded, having that understanding expression on his face that was totally fake, but he wanted to appear as someone who cared about the poor rich asshole whose family held the deepest secrets and showed off with the best lies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa was probably worse than he looked, but his drunken self was just way too amusing to play with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am sure that your </span>
  <em>
    <span>husband</span>
  </em>
  <span> doesn’t mind the presence.”  Mingi said the word again on purpose, watching how both Hongjoong and Seonghwa cringed from both sides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You come with me.”  San quickly stepped in and dragged Mingi away from the couple. Hongjoong could not be more grateful for the luck that he’d gotten when he was younger to be paired up with such considerate beta as San. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, once the newly mated couple was left alone, silence engulfed them. It was actually the second time they were left alone, considering their first meeting. During the week that had passed, they were always surrounded by someone when they had to meet for the rehearsals and all. Not that the Parks needed anything from Hongjoong besides showing up at the meeting and completing the bonding with Seonghwa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had not even talked about it in person. Both of them knew what was left to be done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>The real deal</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not the fake vows, not the stupid looks. But actually claiming each other as their chosen one. It was ironic how very true that was. They were chosen <em>for</em> one another and not <em>by</em> each other. They were convenient. There was nothing special in that. Yet, they both agreed for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So... “ ever the brave one.        “how wasted you need to be to bite me?”  Hongjoong went for it. There was no turning back at this point, so there was no reason to beat around the bush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa looked at him, more concentrated than he had ever been that night.        “Follow me.”  He said and turned around, bumping directly onto someone, whose body he just pushed from his way and Hongjoong followed from behind. His eyes stopped wandering the moment when they reached the door and more flashes blinded him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa reached back and grabbed Hongjoong’s wrist to pull him faster, the two of them finally escaping that hell. Once they were out, Seonghwa started undoing his buttoned shirt, taking it out of his waistline, leaving it wide open in a weak attempt to stop the internal burning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head was a mess, but the damage was mainly at the center of his chest where it sting, pierced, freaked him out to the point that he didn’t want to remember any part of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What rolled into his mind were the last words of his mother when she leaned to give him her own speech. She whispered that even though he had no choice of taking his mate in the way that he wished, they still found quite pretty match for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if she knew what he wanted. As if Hongjoong was a slut that was thrown at the door of their family. To be eaten by them. At that moment he shot her a glare, expressing his silent hatred once again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If there was a person that he wished to never see, that would be Dara and her pretty face that he so pleasantly had took upon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lead Hongjoong to their room, the room that stood locked until now, since Seonghwa refused to get in, and make it comfortable at least for himself. He didn’t care if that red haired boy would feel okay, he didn’t give a damn about his feelings in general, his ideals or whatever the fuck made him agree to this marriage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa pushed the doors open and the quiet corridor echoed with the sound of the creaking door. There was nobody on their floor, even Yunho and San were going to have rooms on the floor below. The whole floor was destined for the new couple, which included library, two bathrooms, another room for rest,  something like a dining room, living room, Seonghwa knew that if he had to check by himself, he would find more, but for now he just wanted to get this done and sink into the pool of this fraud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brushed his face with his palms and turned around, facing Hongjoong with the most fucked up frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How convenient do you want this to be?” He asked, taking off his shirt and tossed it to the ground as he started undoing his trousers next, keeping the other under his hard stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed with the other. He’d followed him since they really needed to get it over with, but the whole undressing thing was not something he’d actually agree on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As easy as it can go.” Hongjoong replied and untied his tie.        “Bite for a bite. That’s all.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scared to get fucked, are we?”  Seonghwa wasn’t in a really clear state of his mind, but he was sure that his sober self would agree with the comment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t deaf though, he clearly heard the fucked up comments and the gossips around the party. The guests of their wedding were talking about Hongjoong being the small and pretty one as Seonghwa appeared to grow taller and stronger. They had already predicted their relationship and dared to dig in it before it even started and that… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That only made him wish that he could tell Chan to fuck off and go back to his old life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if it wasn’t enough for Hongjoong to put up with all of those shameful looks and comments that he had to endure during the reception party, now he had to hear it also from his </span>
  <em>
    <span>soon-to-be-mate</span>
  </em>
  <span>, as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A loud growl vibrated deep in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make a move and I’ll break you in two.”  He instantly bristled. His eyes following closely as the other continued with undressing himself. Within seconds the trousers were gone and Seonghwa moved around the bedroom to open the window. Hongjoong only concluded that this action was to buy time, to think over what to come up with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How convenient. I’m drunk, so it doesn’t count.” Seonghwa kept his back at him, giving him space even though the room was large enough to fit at least 20 people. His eyes stared at the darkness outside, the full moon and the angry waves that crushed into the rocks underneath their mansion. He would be a liar to say that he didn’t miss that view. It was relaxing, chill and it could give peace to an angry heart. And there were two of them…          “Come here, I wanna show you something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong calculated every possible outcome that he could think of. He was absolutely sure that if needed, he could put Seonghwa on his place, so there was no reason for him to act aggressive. He took off his blazer and vest simultaneously and then joined Seonghwa by the window. It truly was a nice view, he had to admit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Want to throw me out from the balcony?” He moved past the other and went outside on the terrace, where couple of lounges were surrounding a glass table on which a bottle of (surprise, surprise) champagne was waiting for them. The bottle was in an ice bucket, already opened for them. He poured himself a glass and cheered his husband. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa followed him out in the darkness, walking slowly due to his many confused emotions. He looked at Hongjoong and started to think that he wasn’t guilty for anything. To be a dick to him was coming naturally, but Seonghwa could feel that the other wasn’t having the best time of his life as well, during the whole ceremony, so he started to hesitate over his own decisions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He decided to be nice, just this once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least one thing tonight has to be done right.”  He approached Hongjoong from behind, walking slow like a predator until he reached for the smaller one and put his hands on his waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong tensed for a second there, as he did not expect the sudden touch from the other. But as he did not do anything else, besides from keeping him within his grasp, Hongjoong decided to ignore the sudden pull that he felt to act on this private invasion which his nature did not allow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which is?” He asked and then sipped from his glass again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa stared at his side profile, watching how the wind messed with Hongjoong’s hair nicely. He felt free for a moment, being there, doing something that would stay hidden away from everyone. The lack of flashlights, voices, fake smiles, was actually comforting him and his distracted eyes landed on Hongjoong’s neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna make you mine.”  He mumbled, licking his lips right before he leaned down and pulled Hongjoong’s collar just enough to reveal some skin. His breath hitched for a second and the hairs on the back of his neck stood because of the thrill that crossed his whole naked body. And then his lips locked down against the warm skin of the other, calming the spot down with a chaste kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A thrill ran down Hongjoong’s spine. He could feel Seonghwa all over himself and the lips on his neck were waking up something, a  primitive desire was raising within him. The moment when he felt the other’s warm tongue licking a spot, then something cold scratched lightly over it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a piercing?”  Another thrill shook the red haired one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa pulled back slightly, getting dizzy for a second, but the curious question got his mind wander over things that he didn’t even want to imagine. All of them connected to this oblivious alpha. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it?” He asked, leaning back down and dig his face into the other’s skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong felt the other’s smile that was buried in his neck.         </span>
  <span>“It’s not bad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Imagine the wonders that can be done with it.”  Seonghwa replied against his will, but his actions cut his speech in the process as he opened his mouth wide enough to take a piece of Hongjoong’s neck and he bit it hard, leaving his own silent promise for the other. His heart instantly pounded in his chest, replacing the anxiety and everything else that promised to kill him. It was weird, especially when his eyes closed and he held Hongjoong on spot, sucking his skin to make the mark wide and clear for the whole damn world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bite was not painless. But Hongjoong did not care. His senses overtook over him and he allowed to his inner, primal part to win over his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harshly he turned around, which made the pain in his neck worse as he clearly heard the sound of skin ripping. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed Seonghwa in the most ungentle way and attacked his neck like a beast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Claiming was mutual act, both parties had to receive and give, in order to merge into one. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Rules.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chapter 2</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Speed used to take his worries away. The faster he rushed his motorcycle down the street, the better his feelings were getting kicked out of his body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was until yesterday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa felt a blast of anxiety right after he shook the sleep away and his eyes stared at the person who was silently sleeping beside him. At first he just stared, observing the outlines of Hongjoong’s face until it sunk deep into his soul and the creeping of bad emotions had started his episode. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart was bursting, beating as if he was going through something hard, even though he couldn’t even move. The interest that he felt over the bite that he left on Hongjoong’s neck, was the next thing that was trying to calm him down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>It wasn’t wrong</em>, but it felt so damn bad that he wanted to run out of the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did that without announcing his absence to anyone. The hangover from the previous night had his head pulsing, but even the warning headache didn’t stop him from jumping on his bike. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa ignored the servants, just like he ignored Yunho’s ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Where are you going?</span>
  </em>
  <span>’. </span>
  <span>Seonghwa jumped on his bike and twisted the speed bars, escaping the wide yard of his mansion with a full speed. </span>
  <span>He tried to shut down his emotions, lock them up at the pit of his heart and just ride. He followed the empty road that surrounded the mansion, the single one that lead to Jeju city. Where was he going exactly? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suffocating need to turn around and go back to safety nearly made him hit the break. The dangerous speed that he was holding made him lose control over the bike for a second and he tried to handle it fast enough before he crashed into the rocks. His heart skipped hundred beats at once and he felt as if there was no oxygen in his lungs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa slowed down, trying to focus on the road and chase away the fucking anxiety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was nothing to worry about. He was going to the city, he was going to go to the pool and just drown his worries at the bottom of it. He would meet Wooyoung there, since it was Tuesday and they had a swimming lesson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His phone was supposed to ring with annoyed mothers, who would search for the lazy instructor, but damn, Seonghwa couldn’t hear anything. The waves crashing against the rocks below the road somehow went silent, the light of the bright sun wasn’t something that he enjoyed and the helmet that was put over his head was only making it harder for Seonghwa to focus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hit the break and the bike stood up on the front wheel for a moment, getting handled by Seonghwa’s weight. He let it fall and pulled away from it, taking off the helmet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He threw it on the ground and stepped towards the reiling, grasping hard at it as if that was going to let him breath. His eyes looked back, seeing the mansion from a distance. He wasn’t even two miles away from it, but he felt as if he was going to die if he moved further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The realization hit him a moment after and he kicked the reiling, taking his anger out on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The image of Wooyoung’s face flashed at the back of his head despite the bad condition that he was in right now. He saw the pretty face of the black haired boy who was promising him eventful brief moments and no future. A part of Seonghwa had always longed to get an address. A place that he could go to, even if he was going to die while trying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t thinking about Hongjoong even for a second. His entire body shook with anger and he knew that everything signalized that he had to jump back on his bike and go home, but what his heart wanted was different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a second there, Seonghwa wished he could let go and just <em>switch</em>. Snap and turn into his stronger self… let the wolf take him wherever the fuck he wanted to be, but he was scared from it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That part of himself that stood locked for way too long. </span>
  <span>Was it awake now when he got the bite and another person claimed the beast in him? It was probably a matter of time before he lose his shit and turn into the person that he no longer wanted to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that same piece of him was suffering right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.”  Seonghwa closed his eyes and pushed himself back from the reiling, trying to calm down by the morning wind. He couldn’t even focus on Wooyoung anymore, his pretty eyes lost their beauty and vanished completely after a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just then, Seonghwa walked back to his bike and sat himself on it, starting it again. This time he didn’t rush away from the mansion, because that would be a suicide not only for him, but for the other boy who was still in the mansion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He twisted the speed bars and narrowed his eyes once the bike was on the right way, back to the mansion. His eyes weren’t on the road for some reason as the wind was messing his hair and he could barely see anything. He stared angrily at the big building that he was quickly approaching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The closer he was getting, the better he felt. Seonghwa could breathe again, but the anxiety was still there, reminding him of something that he did wrong. He tried to run out of responsibilities and go to the place where his heart could be at rest. Seonghwa’s need to be in someone else’s arms right now had probably made him feel this way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped the bike once he entered the parking lot and moved away from it, letting it hit the ground as he didn’t even pay attention to park it in the right way. <em>He needed to check up on Hongjoong. </em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sudden change of his mind was confusing as well, but he acted on instinct once that his body and mind both agreed that he didn’t want this pain. He knew how to stop it and no matter how bad he didn’t want to do this, he still ran up the long stairs, seeking the attention of the person that he had pushed away and disrespected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door of their shared room opened before he could even reach it and Hongjoong crashed into him, his arms wrapping around Seonghwa’s waist as he buried his face into his chest and right there, right then, Seonghwa really died. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say anything.” The other alpha sounded angry, but the grip which he had over Seonghwa's body tightened. The rushed breaths which he was taking showed his own devastated state. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong had the worst waking up ever. The pain which had overtook him was so damn consuming that at first he couldn’t comprehend what was wrong, happening, where he was… His mind had hyperventilated in desperate need to find the answers to his questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The part of his body that was emitting all that pain was his neck and that’s how he recalled the latest events. The mark pulsed and with each trob he was only reminded that he had to find his mate. He needed Seonghwa, but he was not there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the anger followed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where had he gone? And why? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong saw red. He wanted to move and scream, but he couldn’t move. He was stuck on the bed, having troubles breathing. The only thing that made things slightly bearable was the lingering scent of ocean and breeze and something uniquely Seonghwa. Just then when he tried to breath in the soothing scent more in desperate action to calm himself with it, he actually associated the scent to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed Seonghwa and he was not there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Seonghwa dared to move and pushed Hongjoong away from his body, Hongjoong saw red again. The fist that flew towards the taller one’s jaw was hard, with intention to cause if not as much as pain that he’d caused him with leaving him alone, at least to show him a glimpse of what he had to endure because of Seonghwa’s selfishness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ever do that again.” The command in Hongjoong's voice emitting strongly. His eyes narrowed with something that could not be determined with anything else but dominance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa’s mind got sharp and clear after the hit. His hand moved up to his lips and he wiped the blood after he restored his position and straightened up his back. He took a step closer to Hongjoong, sensing how his own anger and pride were fighting hard to out power Hongjoong in every way possible. He towered over the other and let him see the mad glare in his eyes once their eyes locked together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips trembled, the strong presence of the other alpha made Seonghwa feel intimidated. He didn’t back away even when Hongjoong clearly expressed himself. It only made Seonghwa feel worse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think that just because I have your mark on my neck I’m actually yours.” He said and bumped their foreheads together, breathing out angrily.        “Don’t make me angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong’s palms were fisted in strong grip. The challenge that he felt within the other only made him tremble, if not with excitement to demonstrate what he really was, but with anger which came from the disrespect the other showered him with. <br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t …”  Hongjoong warned. The rollercoaster of emotions that were rampaging in him were keeping him on edge and he was trying to control everything and shut them down. But the other’s close proximity and the realization that he actually needed him close, made Hongjoong even angrier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa’s lips pulled in a smirk and he pushed Hongjoong back with such force that his body hit the door and opened it. The two of them were inside their shared room and Seonghwa dared to humiliate his mate as he pushed him until his legs hit the bed and he fell down bewildered by the fast attack that Seonghwa was initiating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the next moment he was all over Hongjoong, mind blocking every rational thought as he sink his teeth into Hongjoong’s fresh mark, giving it the attention that it needed. The rush of adrenaline made him lose control, his hands moved everywhere, ripping the clothes that Hongjoong had and he knew that this was only an act of anger and power, but his heart was still beating fast and hard, giving him a faint reminder that this wasn’t right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t want me to go anywhere…”  Seonghwa growled, moving his lips to Hongjoong’s collar bone.         “Then you’ll give me what I want.” He implied his words with a thigh moving between Hongjoong’s legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The consuming feeling of belonging absorbed Hongjoong’s whole being. His mind was overflowed with the need to </span>
  <em>
    <span>please </span>
  </em>
  <span>his mate’s desire. The other’s teeth were once again on his neck, abusing it, making Hongjoong’s mind literal mush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is someone….”  Seonghwa panted, making a wet trail along the bleeding flesh as he moved one hand to keep his weight up as the other gripped the button of Hongjoong’s pants and ripped it with force. His eyes stared down at the mess that he created and he felt in </span>
  <em>
    <span>control</span>
  </em>
  <span>.       “.... someone that I want. If I can’t have him… then I’ll have a replacement.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment when Hongjoong’s confused mind caught on what the other was talking to him, loud roar vibrated through both of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Someone else,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the letters flashed in his mind in bold and red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kicked Seonghwa away from himself with such force that the other actually was thrown at the ground. Within seconds, Hongjoong was on top of the other, sitting on his stomach, hips crushing the Seonghwa’s chest from the force with which he kept him in place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong's fist once again met the bony cheek of his mate. Hit after hit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember who you belong to.” Every word was dripping with dominance and possessiveness. Hongjoong was not thinking straight. He couldn’t. His beast had overtaken him and he didn’t even want to control it. Seonghwa made an attempt to shake him off, but Hongjoong was not having any of it.       “Know your place.”  Another hit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was blood on Seonghwa’s face, but that only triggered Hongjoong more. He wasn’t relenting anytime soon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>What the hell are you doing?!”</em>  A voice came from the side, it was Mingi’s worried voice, but Hongjoong did not pay any attention to it, as it was only as a background sound to him. Couple pairs of hands were instantly all over him, pulling him back, away from his mate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mate who deserved to know what Hongjoong could do to him if he wanted. The violating presences of those who tried to keep him down only angered Hongjoong even more. He fought all of them - hitting, kicking and having no regrets of the pained moans that he could hear all around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly his head was harshly pulled, hands on his face, keeping him in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calm down, Joong,” Hongjoong heard San’s voice. It was calm, not showing anything.       “<em>Breathe</em>.” As if that was a waking up call for him he actually started seeing the other’s face that was only inches away from his own. Worried eyes staring at him. Only then did Hongjoong realize that he was being held down by his brother and Yunho - Seonghwa’s keeper. His eyes darted away from San’s face and stopped at Seonghwa, who was wildly staring at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blood all over his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get him the fuck away from me.”  Seonghwa yelled, the madness that ran into his body was what made him stand up from the ground and keep his distance. The damned alpha dared to lock eyes with him once again and this time, Seonghwa pointed at him, spitting blood on the ground.       “I don’t care if you will fucking <em>die</em>, I don’t wanna see your fucking face anywhere close to me.”  He said and moved his hand up to his neck, scratching the bite that Hongjoong had left on his neck as if it was going to delete it or break their bond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>Don’t you dare</em>.”  The words were growled at the other. That was not part of Hongjoong’s plan. He had went under all the trouble of mating with the fucker and tolerate all his rich family’s noble bullshits for a reason. And what he knew the other was trying to do ... rejecting him, was going to prevent everything that he had planned for all his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even talk to me.”  Seonghwa turned around and dismissed everyone, leaving the room without further negotiating. Yunho released Hongjoong instantly and ran after his friend, leaving the Kims alone in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck is wrong with you?”  Mingi growled, pushing San’s hands away from his brother so he could stand against him.        “This is not what you do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Mingi was right. Hongjoong was out of his mind to attack Seonghwa like that. But what he went through could not be described with words. The devastation Seonghwa brought on him with leaving him, the attempt to make him submit to him, things that his nature would <em>never</em> allow - messed up with his self-control. He felt like all of the adrenaline which pumped in him was the only thing keeping him straight right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to explain myself to you.”  Hongjoong hissed at his brother and pushed him away. He felt like the worst person for lashing out at Mingi who meant the world for Hongjoong, but at the moment, he couldn’t stand anyone or anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. You will talk whenever you feel like it.” The hurt expressed on Mingi’s face was clear. He turned around and started walking towards the door as well.           “I’m on your side, Hongjoong, I won’t let any of these beasts hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong took his face in his hands and breathed out deeply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” he mumbled after he was left alone to deal with whatever feelings were storming in him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***********</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“<em>Congratulations on your mating.</em>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa winced at the voice and he suddenly lost appetite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His head snapped up and he faced a ginger haired man who stood at the doorway of the dining hall. It was already dark outside, time had flied fast from the morning until now and Seonghwa felt like he was stuck in a loop of anger and disappointment that he couldn’t shake off of his shoulders all day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eden smiled, pulling away from the doorway when he didn’t receive any greeting. The man welcomed himself in and walked around the large empty table before he found a seat next to Seonghwa and sat down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then one look at Seonghwa’s face was needed for the man to break into a small laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Problems in paradise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cheesy comment made Seonghwa cringe and he stabbed a peace of meet angrily, averting his eyes away from Eden.            “Paradise my ass. I’m this close to jumping off the cliff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eden rolled his eyes but nodded eventually.       “Not something that can actually kill you. I was following your life for quite the time. Like every other member of this family. I hope that you weren’t that naive to think you can live on your own after…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>Enough</em>.” Seonghwa scoffed, looking up to meet the other’s strong eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eden was another alpha, part of the clan, whose main job was to train the couples that would eventually go and represent the clan on the fighting Arena. His stone cold personality was what made him perfect to outstand all whinings and complainings and not tolerate anyone’s behavior. Other than that, he was a part of Seonghwa’s past that had made him feel a bond as strong as the one that he had with his brother Chan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was fine.”  He stated, making Eden smile again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you were not. You will be fine now.” The guy shrugged, unfazed by Seonghwa’s whinings.        “I heard that your mate is a wild one. I wanna meet him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa’s lips pulled in a bitter smile.         “I hope he’s dead upstairs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has to eat. I suggest you to pick him up, instead of being this selfish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are not talking to each other.”  Seonghwa said and even though he was roughly rejecting everything that Eden was telling him to do, he knew that the older was right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong hadn’t moved out of their room all day, but that didn’t mean that San didn’t bring him any food or water. He wasn’t a prisoner and Seonghwa wasn’t his slave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He growled lowly at the memory of the morning, but before he could express his frustration, Eden already prepared his speech. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard of your fight."he said.       "Yunho spoke to me earlier when I arrived. I am sure that your mate did not fuck your face for nothing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa sighed, opening his mouth to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know when to apologize.”  Eden cut him off and stood up, picking up a piece of Seonghwa’s dinner and stuffed his mouth.           “I will be patiently waiting for you two to stop acting like kids. I missed the house anyway. Missed you too.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Eden was gone and Seonghwa needed just three seconds to get angry at himself and stand up from his position. His eyes roamed over the table and he picked up two random plates, hoping that he wasn’t going to meet anyone on his way up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's been only several hours since he announced that he didn’t want to see Hongjoong’s fucking face ever again and there he was, backing away first just because an old friend lectured him. As if he was a fucking kid who had no manners. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was the reason why Seonghwa was doing this anyway, because of Eden, not because he gave a damn if Hongjoong could die in starvation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kicked the door open and welcomed himself in without looking at the other. He just carried the plates to the table nearby the corner and put them down in an angry manner, dropping himself on the couch right after that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>Silence</em>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever Hongjoong was doing, he was definitely ignoring his presence. And that played with Seonghwa’s nerves just a tiny bit. </span>
  <span>Enough to make him look up curiously to spot the other in the room. </span>
  <span>Hongjoong was spread on the bad, on his stomach, looking down at the phone in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>See? He didn’t need food or company. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>What</em>?”  Hongjoong asked harshly even though his eyes never strayed from his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I’ve messed your face as well.” Seonghwa replied, trailing his tongue over his split bottom lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong dropped the phone on the mattress and turned slightly at the side, so he could stare at  Seonghwa’s face. Even with their supernatural healing abilities, a couple of hours were not enough to fix the mess which he had left on Seonghwa’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pang of remorse hit Hongjoong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet it was quickly replaced with the burning fire from before, as he remembered why he’d actually done it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next time - think twice before starting anything.”  Hongjoong was not going to apologize for hurting him, because what Seonghwa had done had greatly more impact than a few punches that he’d hit the other with. It was true that they were not true mates, but convenient ones. Political suiting pair. Both of them needed something from the other, so everything was clear. There were no feelings involved, but once the mating was done…. they hadn’t thought it through what that’d change for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just the idea of Seonghwa being with someone else made Hongjoong’s blood boil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong had no reasoning why he cared, when in reality - he didn’t. Yet his primitive part could not let such thing to happen… and most of all, for his own mate to voice it out as if it meant nothing. Their bond was new, not completely established so whatever they felt - it was intensified. Whatever they experienced - it felt ten times more real than it should. And not to mention their dominant natures, it was not going to be easy for neither of them, but Hongjoong had thought that it was clear that they needed to make it work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was the agreement their families had and both of them had not backed down when they still could have done it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So it was unreasonable for Hongjoong to beat around the bush again. They clearly had to talk and come up to some kind of ... personal agreement between them. Where their lines stood which should not be crossed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are a nightmare.”  Seonghwa cut his thoughts with a comment.          “Little devil. You look at me and I see so much that I wanna kill myself.” he said all of that with sarcasm while roaming his eyes over the other’s form on the bed. He had no idea what was going on in Hongjoong’s head and he didn’t need to hear any piece of his mind as well, but the fact that he saw a glint of regret flashing in his eyes, made him put an end of that bullshit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like Chan loved to say - the stronger and the smarter ones were backing away first, for the better good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come here.”  He invited Hongjoong and made a space on the couch next to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong thought about it for a moment there, when a tired sigh escaped his lips. He knew that he needed the comfort which would come when the distance between them was decreased. So without any reason that he could think of not following the other’s request, Hongjoong made his way towards Seonghwa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sucks to have this… need to be close to you.”  Hongjoong mumbled when he plastered himself next to the other, absolutely ungracefully. Yet he could not stop himself from sneaking his face into the other’s neck, lips brushing the mark which Seonghwa so carelessly wanted to damage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do that, I’m still angry at you.”  Seonghwa pulled away instantly, even if the soft gesture made his entire skin shiver dangerously. He turned against Hongjoong in a safe try to keep his soft lips away from himself and his hand got up to touch the mark thoughtfully.          “Listen…. I’m… sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong swiftly brushed the other’s hand away and snug his face once again into Seonghwa’s neck, taking a deep breath of his scent - ocean and breeze, swaying him away instantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give me a moment..” The reason why he’d remained in their bedroom was only because he needed to calm down and the lingering scent of Seonghwa was both teasing him and bringing him peace when he couldn’t actually approach Seonghwa. His pride would not let him voice out that, but he at least hoped the other would realize what he’d done to him and let him have that moment he needed. Ever since Hongjoong woke up he felt lost, because of Seonghwa and their last encounter did not end well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands unconsciously moved on their own and wrapped around the Seonghwa's waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, don’t do that to me again.” Hongjoong was not sure whether his message was going to be received correctly, but he needed it out of his chest. They maybe not be true mates, from the kind which were destined and meant for one another, but nonetheless, that bond which they sealed just the previous night had the same strength.                “Maybe you have your reasons”  The thought of someone else who occupied Seonghwa’s mind and heart made the red haired one to cringe.       “but now you have to really think twice before acting upon your desires.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if to make his point even more clear, Hongjoong nosed the mark that he’d left for everyone to know that Seonghwa belonged to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa’s head fell back on the couch and his eyes shut closed the moment when the gentle brush against his sensitive spot on his neck sent electric jolts to his body. He didn’t want to touch Hongjoong, but his hand carefully wrapped around him and kept him close to his body nonetheless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa bit his broken lip and tried to chase away the anxiety when it started to creep back into his heart without invitation. He wished he could just go to the beach and jump into the water, drown his feelings in it and forget about everything that was happening. </span>
  <span>It was happening too fast, too suddenly, it was a freak show that Seonghwa wasn’t prepared for. And this boy here was just a character of that show, who had no idea what he was dealing with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in love with someone.”  Seonghwa confessed, keeping his eyes closed because he didn’t want to see the look on Hongjoong’s face when he hears that. His stomach made a weird flip and he felt how the mark was burning angirly. His feelings were still molding for Wooyoung and if Hongjoong deserve anything, it was Seonghwa’s honesty at least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grip over Seonghwa’s waist tightened. But Hongjoong did not move away from his place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter.”  Hongjoong hissed through gritted teeth.       “If anything… the bond will make you forget that other people even matter soon.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the truth, Hongjoong had laughed at so many wolves who suddenly started acting as lost puppies once they were mated. Everyone explained it like nothing else matter but only one person, the one who belonged with you. So he had no concerns about that. Hongjoong did not really want to get to that level of losing himself, because he didn’t want to dedicate anyone, especially Seonghwa, so much of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he expected his resilience would at some point be washed out. For both of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’d hate you a little bit.” Seonghwa replied. He felt how something else was slowly driving him crazy. It was the fact that Wooyoung wouldn’t even care. He didn’t call him for days, he probably waited until he can’t take it anymore and need Seonghwa to dick him hard against the desk in his office room. The room that he would probably never go to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa needed today so he could erase himself from the life that he was misleading himself with for two years. He needed to run away, be selfish and do something for himself. For last time. </span>
  <span>The bond had stopped him, everything went south when he even tried to express his anger on the most fucked up way and on top of that, Seonghwa even felt responsible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let's make some rules.”  He said, thinking about himself again, trying to put his own needs on a map and let Hongjoong agree with him. If he wanted something for himself, he could always add.        “I am first. I want you to come with me to the pool. I wanna hold my lessons.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?”  Hongjoong agreed on setting boundaries, since they would need them if they wanted to keep their senses and not go berserk on one another and kill themselves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can….”  Seonghwa continued, his eyes opening when a tingling anger brushed on the tips of his fingers.          “....you can fuck whoever you want.”  He said, expressing the lack of jealousy or whatever the bond was supposed to make him feel. Right now Seonghwa was sure that the effect of their mating wasn’t going to change him, so talking about such things was reasonable for him.         “But if you do, don’t expect me to stay home calmly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The chill that went to through Hongjoong was purely from the bond, and not his personal distress of what the other clearly declared. So he breathed even deeper, soothing his senses and nodded, not trusting his voice to acknowledge the other’s words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's enough for now.”  Seonghwa said, turning his head towards the other. He felt calm after they got into agreement, but the clinginess of Hongjoong was playing bad games with his strong patience. There was something warm threatening to break the cold facade and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to let it happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My turn.”  Hongjoong stated.     “My only rule - not breaking the bond.”  He said and moved away from the other’s neck, so he could stare into Seonghwa’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa stared back, tensing under the power of that plead. He nodded silently, leaning towards the other. His right hand captured Hongjoong’s chin in a tensed grip as he closed the distance between their faces and kissed him. His tongue easily slipped into the other’s mouth and the kiss lasted only a moment before he pulled back, licking Hongjoong’s taste from his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise.”  Seonghwa said, dropping the hold over the other and stood up, heading to the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey hey, a fast update, since this fic needs to be out and entertain you ! <br/>We are glad that we had commments on the first chapter! Horay for us xD<br/>So you can keep talking to us, since thats exciting and encouraging, we are very glad that you like the fic! <br/>Keep reading and we will have regular updates for you ^^ BB.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Challenge.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter3</p><p>Seonghwa was hiding secrets that were kept deeply within the family. Secrets that he couldn’t let his mate to know about.<br/>
Eden had given him two more days before he asked of him to visit the gym for training. Hongjoong’s curiousness was pain in the ass for the older alpha, but he boldly explained that he needed to check up on Seonghwa’s wolf before everyone else, since he hadn’t been shape-shifting for years.<br/>
Maybe Hongjoong understood, maybe he didn’t. But the disappointment was clear on his face, when Eden told him to wait for several days, while he trained alone with Seonghwa’s beast. </p><p>Seonghwa wanted to talk about it, hear out his mate and what he had to say about the matter since he was sure that Hongjoong’s head was filled up with lies beforehand. Lies about Seonghwa, being just a coward with no fighting background. Lies about Seonghwa, who preferred to be life-guarding at a fancy pool instead of accepting his status of pure blooded alpha and the responsibilities that he had towards his clan.<br/>
Well, Seonghwa would feed these lies, because it was better if Hongjoong considered him a coward. He didn’t want to say the truth, not ever. </p><p>“Seonghwa, no.”  Eden dodged the black wolf’s attack as he jumped straight for the kill. The primitive instinct to murder was locked up within Seonghwa’s other half. This wild half that hadn’t shown up in years. </p><p>The second when he transformed and all of his bones cracked, readjusted and held the form of the large black alpha, he lost it. </p><p>Seonghwa had no memories of the first two days that he had shifted in his wolf form. Eden mentioned something that he'd just ran out of the gym and Eden had to transform as well, in order to find him and bring him back. The instinct to kill was stronger and Seonghwa knew that only Eden could deal with his madness. There was a time of his life where Seonghwa had kept his wolf form for weeks, refusing to turn back into his human form. </p><p>Pain. Seonghwa could only take the pain away that way. </p><p>The person who brought sanity back to him was Eden. And Seonghwa owed his life to the alpha. If Eden hadn’t taught him how to meditate, how to keep his madness locked up inside, the trauma would have haunted Seonghwa and break his will to live. It happened once…. and ever since that day, Seonghwa hadn’t shifted back to being a wolf. </p><p>He refused to be an alpha, because he had been violently turned into something that he was afraid of.  His dark past was kept safe behind lies and Seonghwa didn’t mind the lies as long as he got to live a better life. He believed that his family let him do it, let him have a second chance to redeem himself, but they brought him back to the mansion and arranged a marriage that Seonghwa wasn’t even aware of. When he spoke to Chan, he felt sorry for his brother. Jia was weak to hold any fights and the status of the family had to be kept straight up, otherwise the damage would be too great for all of them. Including Seonghwa. He agreed to take his part in the family, but he wasn’t sure how he would keep the past behind his back and get used to being a wolf again. A real alpha. </p><p>The black wolf growled low, its huge head lowered next to his trainer, who was glaring at him with no fear of getting killed. Eden knew how to tame the beast in him, but he needed more time to achieve that. </p><p>“You need to control it. Control the anger.”  Eden said and reached out to touch the wolf, letting it lay down in his feet. Seonghwa’s yellow eyes were glowing dangerously, but the other alpha could see him calming down. A result for the first time in five days. Those five days were tough for Seonghwa. </p><p>Apart of the intense training and his internal fight with the beast, Seonghwa had to act as if he was okay, act up in front of Hongjoong, who would ask him if he was okay everyday and Seonghwa would just smile, lay down next to him and fall asleep. He had no idea how this was going to work - how he was going to handle the need to kill when it was sealed deep within him. Eden was able to help and tame his anger, but Eden wouldn’t be the one fighting beside Seonghwa on the arena. It would be Hongjoong. </p><p>Seonghwa felt disturbed by the fact that he could attack his own mate, if he was unable to control his madness. He voiced out his worries everyday in front of Eden and Yunho. Both of them would listen to him for long time, without interrupting him. Maybe Seonghwa had to just learn and adapt by himself. Maybe he really needed to let Hongjoong help him. As his mate. As the one who deserved to be beside him and fight. </p><p>It was hard to get used to the change, when the trauma was still alive and nothing seemed to help him forget. Yet, Seonghwa had spent two years doing exactly this. He had forgotten.  And to bring back everything was making him lose his sanity all over again. </p><p>“Its okay, you can go rest for now.”  Eden mumbled, taking a deep breath as the big black wolf started to shift back into Seonghwa’s tall form, not even making a sound as his bones cracked back, the fur disappeared within his skin and his face transformed into the handsome one that managed to hide every emotion as well as the best liar could. </p><p>And damn, Seonghwa was the most calm and composed person. Well, at least he tried to be that person… before he'd gotten mated for a wild alpha, whose interests were making him dig his perfect nose in every matter. </p><p>Seonghwa put his training shorts on and picked a towel, panting hard because of the intense training that he had today with Eden. They had a progress, even if it was a small one. And his urge to go back to his room and shower was making him step from one foot to another while the older alpha wrote down his progress. </p><p>“Pretty good, boy. You can spend the rest of the day with Hongjoong. I am sure that he will pull up a fight with me soon if I keep telling him lies.” Eden smiled knowingly and Seonghwa nodded while wiping the sweat away from his face. His body and hair were damp of sweat, he could barely breathe, but he still managed to smile to the trainer and pay him his respect before he spun on his heels and left the gym. </p><p>Seonghwa's instincts were too sharp recently. He could feel so much more when he was letting himself become one with his wolf again. He was learning to accept the wild nature of himself and no matter how hard it was for him to hold back and still fight, he was going to make it.<br/>
He'd promised Chan. He'd promised Hongjoong, as well.</p><p>Hongjoong…</p><p>For the last couple of days Seonghwa was catching himself thinking about the short alpha. He would think whether the other enjoyed food during the day, if he was having fun with San and Mingi, or if he was training on his own when Seonghwa was getting his personal training. </p><p>They could barely talk and yet…. Seonghwa was able to acknowledge his mate better now. It was happening whenever he shape-shifted. He would howl, growl, desire. He would attack Eden, only because he wanted to see his mate. The strong need to taste Hongjoong was scaring him, which brought more worries later, because he wasn’t supposed to bite his mate and kill him. </p><p>No, Seonghwa couldn’t be a part of any fight yet. And he remained a coward once he started doubting himself.</p><p>He dragged his tired body upstairs, walking in a slow motion as every muscle of his body was tensed. Never painful, only tensed and worked up. In the matter of one shower and a snuggle against Hongjoong, he was always falling asleep, waking up on the next day only to do the same. This monotonous way of living was making him nervous and disturbed…. but at least he had stopped thinking of the beautiful boy, who hadn’t been calling him for weeks. And sometimes Seonghwa was texting him, telling Wooyoung that he forgot about him, texting it in a joking way, expecting at least a reply. He didn’t get any. His pride wasn’t going to allow him to call first, so his only way out of that painful hole was to focus on his training. </p><p>That was how he ended up making baby steps. It encouraged him that one day, he would be able to get over his trauma and be himself freely. </p><p>He got inside his shared room with Hongjoong and dropped the damp towel down, stretching his body few times as his mind stood bothered by Wooyoung, even if he didn’t intend to think about him. Maybe it was just because his heart still longed for the boy, maybe he longed for him because Wooyoung used to make him feel…. normal…. tensed up, passionate. </p><p>And coming to think of passion… Seonghwa needed a hard release that would wash away his tension. He slid a hand down on himself lazily, crossing the wet path from his chest, abs and belly, only to move lower to his crotch. Right, he hadn’t had sex in a while. Way too fucking long for someone who was having a regular sex life before. </p><p>Seonghwa usually had no idea whether Hongjoong was in the room. When he was tired, he couldn’t scent the other, but somehow this time he did. The sweet scent of red rose and something strong got him light headed. It was the first time that he felt Hongjoong so strong that it made his muscles tense with satisfaction. Seonghwa might be damned, but for a moment there, he just felt his dick with his hand, shamelessly following the length with his fingers. His eyes closed suddenly when the sweet scent of his mate approached him and he just wanted to feel it on his own skin. </p><p>Then Seonghwa suddenly snapped, his eyes opening wide and his heart skipped hundred beats. Since when was he touching himself when Hongjoong was around??<br/>
Seonghwa pulled his tongue piercing nervously, letting it poke his bottom lip several times as he wished that Hongjoong didn’t just caught him rubbing his hardness. But when the other’s face showed on the horizon, Seonghwa smiled awkwardly. </p><p>“I wasn’t doing that, I swear.”  He said, running a hand through his damp hair and he started sweating even harder, due to the fucked up situation that Hongjoong just caught him in - standing in the middle of the room, all sweaty and turned on. Very fucked up sight to come up to. </p><p>Hongjoong was leaning on the doorway leading to their terrace, with a knowing look plastered all over his face.       “I saw you.”  For a moment there even the air froze around them, eyes locked. </p><p>“I see you now, too.” Seonghwa said bluntly, his face fired up with some sort of shame. Was it pathetic for an alpha to admit that he was neglected to the point of touching himself? Yes, it was.  And Hongjoong was just standing there, looking pretty. When Seonghwa's eyes roamed over his mate, he noticed the red long sleeved shirt, one that had a deep v-neck, exposing Hongjoong’s pretty collar bones. He didn’t stop there, checking out Hongjoong’s tight jeans, but the material didn’t matter. What mattered was the shape of his legs and the nice pose that he had taken, leaning against the door frame like the sexiest model.</p><p>“What’s wrong with me?” Seonghwa mumbled to himself and averted his eyes. He wanted to quit talking and shower, but…       “Isn’t it too fucking hot to be dressed like that? Considering how many clothes I have right now.”  And he didn’t want to have any clothes right now. </p><p>Apparently, Hongjoong had some mercy, because he moved and made his way inside the room. His eyes were shamelessly roaming Seonghwa’s naked chest when he stopped right in front of him.          “Was the training hard?” He tilted his head aside, eyes easily finding Seonghwa’s ones. </p><p>“No, it’s just too hot down there. Eden is a sadist..” Seonghwa still had the ability to joke, even though the closeness of his mate was disturbing his calmness. What was he doing now? He eyed the distance between them and figured that it wasn’t too big, so he decided to busy himself and still pay attention on Hongjoong. But was he blind?   Seonghwa delicately escaped the situation as he turned around and bit his lips, trying to adjust his hardness without having Hongjoong’s eyes on it. Not that he even looked.                 “We should train outside on the arena. Less stressing, the air is everywhere, I mean…”</p><p>“Remind me why I can’t attend the training sessions?” Hongjoong’s voice was even, but it was clear that his question had deeper meaning. When he first had heard that Seonghwa had no talent for fighting, he didn’t really care. Because it was within their alpha nature to fight for what they considered theirs - whether it was territory or stupid matters like verbal fights. He’d had couple of banters with the other and knew that Seonghwa was not a weak opponent. Because the strength for sure did not come from the physical state or abilities, otherwise Hongjoong would’ve been on the bottom of their ranks. In the end all that matter was the mental state of their minds. </p><p>He did not believe the bullshits which the Parks were feeding him.  Seonghwa needing personal training meant only one thing - he was not straight in the head. </p><p>However, from the time that he’d spent with the red-haired one, Seonghwa did not seem to be feral. So it was quite confusing for him why he was not allowed to join him in training. They had to do it, in order to better themselves, to learn their weak points and work on covering them. That was the whole meaning of the mated fights. Otherwise, everyone would’ve gone one on one. They were wasting precious time when they were not training together and Hongjoong could not accept that. </p><p>“Eden said that it’s necessary.”  Seonghwa replied, not giving any further explanation.</p><p>“Necessary why?”  Hongjoong pressed further. This was the first time in days that they actually had the chance to talk it over. Seonghwa was either sleeping or training, there was no time for nothing in between, especially for Hongjoong and that did not stood well with him, as well. It was like he was being deprived from the right to be with his mate, and each time Hongjoong thought about it, he wanted to barge into the gym and just claim his rights. Each time he almost did it, getting down to the basement and entering, but what stopped him was the fact that he clearly felt that Seonghwa did not want him there.<br/>
One more thing that made Hongjoong uneasy. He wondered why he had to put up with it and the answer to that was one - bringing the honor back to his own clan.<br/>
He wanted to give the other time to master whatever he thought he was lacking, but his own instinct to support his mate when he clearly had hardships was pushing him on the edge. </p><p>“I’m skilled fighter. I can help you, too.”  A big swallow of Hongjoong's pride was taken, before those words could leave his mouth. He took Seonghwa’s elbow and turned him, so they can be face to face once again. The annoyed expression over his mate's face was there, he couldn’t miss it even if he wanted to.         </p><p>“Are we really going to talk about it now?”  Seonghwa pulled his arm back, because it sent electric jolts through his sensitive body and Hongjoong was a little mean to not consider the fact that he was standing there, floating in his own sweat, fighting a boner while the other was talking crap without even noticing it. If he had to think about it, Hongjoong didn’t have to notice anything. But Seonghwa was ridiculously sensitive, probably because of the stupid fights and how the lies made him appear in front of his mate. He was getting angry, but Hongjoong wasn’t the reason for that.        “Can you just give me a break?”</p><p>“Breaks is all I have given you.”  Hongjoong felt how the grain of anger was sown in him. Ocean and breeze hit him hard, the strong emotions that the other was having were only increasing the scent that he had and that betrayed him.       “What is actually going on in that basement, Seonghwa?”  His voice getting lower with each word. </p><p>“I said…” The other said through gritted teeth, leaning closer to Hongjoong’s face so he could appear more intimidating.         “......give me a fucking break.”</p><p>What Hongjoong did was provoked by Seonghwa’s whole being. He pushed him hard with both hands, with such strength that the other’s knees hit the bed. Seonghwa lost balance and fall on the bed, ungracefully like a bag of potatoes. Hongjoong did not want to lose the chance of finally obtaining some answers,so he wasted no time in straddling his legs.</p><p>“I’m not in the mood for this.”  Seonghwa warned him, looking up at his eyes. The fact that he had no idea what rolled in Hongjoong’s head, he figured that the other got angry.</p><p>“You don’t say.”  Hongjoong hissed.      “Your dick says otherwise.” </p><p>“My what?”  The bold actions of the other finally rang a bell in Seonghwa’s head and he had to blink away the bewilderness before reacting in any way. He thought that Hongjoong wanted to throw a fist at his face or something, not mock at him for being turned on. </p><p>Hongjoong growled at him. His eyes flashing dangerously at him.         “You are supposedly training in there… and yet you dare to come back in our room turned on. Touching yourself in front of me.”    The possessive side of him could not take in even the thought of what his mate could be doing while he was away from his eyes. They did not have any faith in each other and even the smallest thing could bring the doubts.</p><p>And Hongjoong was having many right now. The sweaty body of his mate.. the arousal evident not only on his firm body, but his scent, too.<br/>
The red haired had tried to remain control in the beginning, not acknowledging the other’s state, but he could not stop his mouth from asking that question. But when Seonghwa chose to disrespect him once again with providing no answer … it made him lose it. </p><p>Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at him, feeling a little irritated, even though it was well covered by the tremors that his body was having each time that Hongjoong moved. He registered that the other alpha liked to be seated like this whenever the hell he felt like, but it didn’t come well in a time that Seonghwa wanted to lock himself in their bathroom and jerk off the shame.<br/>
And yet, there was something sexy about Hongjoong when he was angry. His eyes were trying to kill him, his hands were ready to give Seonghwa a lesson, but even appearing as someone who was pissed off, he still radiated something else. And was Seonghwa senseless by now? </p><p>“Okay…” He didn’t want to argue, but Hongjoong was always pulling his nerves and as he looked at the other’s hands, he caught them down on his abs, just resting there angrily.       “Didn’t you think for a second, that I got turned on after I came back from training?”</p><p>“Nonsense.” Hongjoong dismissed Seonghwa’s words. Even though he wondered a second later whether it was possible for it to be true.          “I remember your rules, so you’d better not think that I’m going to allow you to show me the aftermaths.”  His fingernails dig into the other’s abs to make a point what he could do to him if it happened.  </p><p>So Hongjoong remembered. </p><p>Seonghwa had one thing in mind, doing the complete opposite when he flipped the game in his advance, trapping the shorter male down on the mattress. When he got in that position, the first thing that had ran through him was a wave of emotions, all of them a different shade of dirty and he knew that he had to back away before Hongjoong decided that he was too much for him and kick his ass again. </p><p>But to have his mate trapped down powerless in a moment like this…. it just made Seonghwa confident. He leaned down and inhaled from the strong scent of his alpha, closing his eyes when the reminder that he owned that boy made him calm. It was okay to hover over Hongjoong and act cocky, but it wasn’t okay to take advantage of him and please himself while the other just had that innocent jealousy. </p><p>“Trust me, I’m not screwing my trainer.” He said and insisted on agreement as he leaned lower and tasted the lines of the mark on Hongjoong’s neck, tracing it with the metal ball of piercing. </p><p>“You’d better.”  Hongjoong was still on edge, but having Seonghwa all over him made him relax a bit. The treacherous thrills that ran his spine were not helping him though.         “Now, go to the bathroom. You reek.” He pushed the other off his body with a sneaker. </p><p>Rejection. Seonghwa made a face to the comment but didn’t protest against it. He stood up from his mate and didn’t pay him more attention, since Hongjoong had all the rights to kick him off. And the fact that Seonghwa was this close to taking advantage of the other was what actually stopped him of doing it. </p><p>He wasn’t that fucker. </p><p>He grabbed a towel and walked to the door, hearing Hongjoong’s melodic voice in the background.</p><p>“Seonghwa… you’d have to let me join you in the training soon. I’m not joking.” </p><p>********</p><p>It went as if what Hongjoong had told Seonghwa the previous night was indeed a joke. </p><p>He was staring down at a paper that his mother had handed him in the morning, meeting him briefly in the dining room. The paper was wrapped in an elegant envelope, which got pulled by Seonghwa swiftly. What was written down in perfect signature was a message that he had never seen by himself. Simply because he never wanted to or had interest in it. </p><p>Right now, that letter was dedicated to him and his mate. A straight invitation for the arena. Straight call from mated couple to another one. </p><p>A direct challenge for the one who was refusing to stand by his clan for years. </p><p>What Seonghwa saw there made his blood boil just a bit by the request.</p><p>‘....Surrender your eastern territory, your ownership and belongings. The occupants of that territory belonging to the Park clan are allowed to either transfer to us and surrender or leave the said territory.’</p><p>They spoke as if they had already won the fight. </p><p>Seonghwa growled lowly, a sound coming out from his angry heart, but when his eyes snapped up to look at his mother, he saw her challenging red eyes staring back at him like a mirror. </p><p>“What is this?”  He asked, shoving the paper against the table with such force that he felt his fist numb for a moment.       “Surrender?”</p><p>“Does that spike your heart, alpha?”  Dara asked evenly, eyes digging holes into her son’s face. </p><p>Seonghwa wasn’t usually shaken up by anything related to his clan, because he knew that his parents were taking care of it along with Chan and Jia by their side, but at the current situation, other clans had sniffed weakness and they were trying to strike, undervalue him and most importantly…. undervalue Hongjoong, just because he was coming from a clan that had been harassed through the past years. </p><p>Hongjoong thought that Seonghwa was indifferent, passive to everything related to him, but Seonghwa quickly caught up with the information that he needed. Mainly because Hongjoong knew something about him and Seonghwa had no idea who he was mated to. </p><p>Eden served him with facts about the Kims and Seonghwa was surprised how this fucking letter that he was holding right now wasn’t representing a threat for the territory that belonged to the Kims. Yet, he got it pretty fast. The Jungs underestimated Hongjoong’s clan and didn’t even want to fight it, because they thought of them as weak. </p><p>He shot his mother a glare and held the paper firmly.        “This is not a challenge. It’s mockery, mom.” </p><p>Dara nodded, still looking calm as ever.          “Your mate is strong. I didn’t pick Hongjoong because of his rank, I picked him because of what he is capable of for his own clan. Unlike you….. he is ready to fight and keep his head up no matter what. He is fuel. He can give you everything.”</p><p>Seonghwa scoffed, taking a step back as his eyes screwed. His lips trembled angrily and he was holding himself back from saying something that even the great Park Dara wouldn’t be able to deny. </p><p>“So it’s my fault that we are considered as weaklings now?” He asked, voice going high at the end. </p><p>Dara’s eyes narrowed.         “Don’t dig in there.” She warned, hand reaching out to touch his face. </p><p>The contact with his mother made Seonghwa body tense, every hair on the back of his neck stood angrily and he wanted to look away, but he didn’t. It wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t even there when Jia lost the baby. Their future heir.  </p><p>“Let Hongjoong lead the fight.”  Dara commanded, her strong nature trying to push Seonghwa down and keep him there like a good dog. But he couldn’t resist the urge to growl when the pure anger within him spread quickly. Even Dara thought of him as failure. Mating him to a guy who had a nice background of keeping his clan to safety. Seonghwa had no idea how Hongjoong had managed to do it by himself with his parents weakening, but he had San, he had a step brother to help him out. Dara wanted to take advantage of Hongjoong’s strong personality in order to keep the Parks up at the top of the hierarchy.<br/>
But if she was using Hongjoong for that, then Seonghwa was just the heir, a mate with no power, a wolf who had locked himself helplessly. Of course, they would need the most powerful mate out there, to put dust in people’s eyes. </p><p>Dara didn’t even expect Seonghwa to fight and that sting not only his pride, but his heart as well. </p><p>His own mother didn’t give a damn about him. </p><p>“He is well trained and passionate.”</p><p>“He doesn’t know…” Seonghwa growled again and Dara stood indifferent. She either didn’t acknowledge his feelings or just simply didn’t care. </p><p>Her cold eyes trailed Seonghwa’s face and she caressed his skin slowly, almost affectionately.            “Eden told me about your progress. If you can manage to be at the arena, Hongjoong will help you out when you need him to. A wolf can feel their mate when they feel weak. He can win to protect you. At all cost.”</p><p>Seonghwa sucked in a breath and twisted his head to avoid his mother’s touch. The pain that her words caused was not only there because she didn’t care about him. She thought of him as weak. His pride, the build up confidence that he was used to live with, the ignorance, the hatred, they all meant so much to him, but none of these emotions could reach Dara’s heart. She was the coldest person that Seonghwa had ever let in his heart and damn, he wished he could stop loving her. It didn’t matter how high he could reach, he could never be able to reach her and that was something that he thought he would eventually forget.<br/>
Well, he couldn’t. </p><p>“We cannot let the Jungs threaten us like this.”  Dara ordered and just then, Seonghwa dared to confront her, growling lowly as his eyes glared at her with madness. </p><p>“I am making the decisions now. Me and my mate.”  He spit the last with hatred, gripping the paper as he showed her his back and walked angrily towards the exit of the large dining hall. Before he could exit, he stopped and turned back. There were so many unspoken things….       “You won’t control my actions, not anymore. This is what you wanted… to control me. I am back now, so let me lead the family if that is my responsibility now.”</p><p>“Yours?” Dara scoffed, unamused.        “You cannot control your life, yourself and you want to control a clan? Go back in your shadow, I am not letting you lead my clan.”</p><p>“My clan too… mom.”  Seonghwa said, pain and hatred making him sink to the ground.    “It’s also my clan.”   He left the room with no further confrontation. </p><p>His eyes burned with something, the humiliation was making his legs move further and further away from his mother. He felt how everything burned, he wanted to rip his skin off and just run away from this damned family, but he couldn’t.<br/>
The part of him that was stronger, the one that made him an alpha, that part was dreaming to protect. Perhaps he lost himself, he was broken, but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t a leader. It didn’t mean that he couldn’t protect. </p><p>His instinct was leading him somewhere, but his vision was blinded by anger. The scent of roses and fresh grass was pulling him and he felt like he was going to die if he didn’t run faster. Seonghwa pushed the doors of what seemed to be the library and the mixed scents there startled him for a moment. He could distinguish Mingi, since he was an alpha, Hongjoong’s beta keeper San and then then he felt a strong impulse that pushed him towards Hongjoong. </p><p>Seonghwa scented him like he was craving for him, his arms clenching angrily when he caught another scent lingering too close to his mate. He stopped in his tracks, a low growl left his lips as he faced the male who was seated next to Hongjoong, an omega who's scent was nearly unknown to him. Omega, who had no right to sit next to Seonghwa’s mate. His mate. </p><p>Seonghwa's eyes narrowed at the pretty omega and he wanted to rip him off of where he was clinging to Hongjoong’s side. He knew how omegas seduced, he knew how good they were in spinning someone’s head and especially how they acted weak, in order to make an alpha fall in their game. </p><p>Right now, Seonghwa couldn’t recognize the face, but his madness just went beyond what he could stand, so in a matter of seconds, he just burst in front of everyone. </p><p>“What the hell is he doing in my house?” He yelled, his jaw clenching angrily as he confronted Hongjoong, not even minding the other alpha, his beta and especially that whore that stood next to him.           “Inform me, what is this omega doing here…” His voice trembled possessively.         “....that close to you.”</p><p>“Careful, tough guy.”  Mingi challenged, his usually soft voice throwing a clear warning towards Seonghwa and…. did he just threaten him? </p><p>“Don’t mess with me.” Seonghwa’s eyes rolled on the other alpha and Mingi was up in the matter of seconds, standing before his brother as if he was scared of something. </p><p>The state of Seonghwa’s mind went wild because of the conversation with his mother and it didn’t give him the chance to back away and calm down, because he didn’t want to. He simply wanted to pick up a fight and Mingi seemed to click with that need. </p><p>“Back off, this is Yeosang, you fucking had him as a guest on your mating.”  Mingi tried to reason Seonghwa, but he was far too angry to care. A friend or whatever, that omega was clinging onto Hongjoong and Seonghwa wanted to confront his mate and demand answers, but instead of him, he had his step brother - acting like a man. </p><p>“Take him the fuck away then, you and your beta can screw him.”  Seonghwa said, not expecting what followed shortly after. </p><p>Mingi smashed his fist against Seonghwa’s jaw and the latter transformed in the matter of seconds, showing as his true self in the moment when he himself was weaker than he wanted to appear. His black wolf dig his claws into the pretty carpet and he took a position to attack. </p><p>“Joong…”  The omega whined in fear, watching in horror how Mingi’s wolf showed up just right after Seonghwa shifted, and the two alphas were growling at each other, ready to make a strike.<br/>
Seonghwa’s lack of self control at the current situation just proved his mother right as he couldn’t even control his anger, his life, not to mention that he completely forgot about his progress . The fact that he didn’t want his wolf to be anywhere around Hongjoong, and now he just proved everyone, including his mate, that he was a crazy fucker with no respect towards Hongjoong’s friends. </p><p>“Enough.”  The solid, even voice of Hongjoong resonated in the area. It was an obvious command even though his posture did not show any signs of agitation. His eyes were hard though, staring at the two wolves who were close to attacking one another, with their teeth bared. His attention was taken by the unknown to him wolf - it was a magnificent creature really. Its fur was all black, as if reflecting the sky during the night when there were no stars to illuminate it. Hongjoong could not stop the small flame of pride which bloomed in him. His mate’s wolf form was a good sight for his sore eyes. He wanted to meet it for quite the long time now, but he was opposed at the idea too relentlessly. And now out of nowhere, Seonghwa switched, because Yeosang was apparently too close to him for his likening. </p><p>That was the reason why it took a couple of seconds for Hongjoong to react.         “Mingi, step down.”  He could feel how the omega next to him trembling from the tension that he had to endure. </p><p>“Shift back, Mingi.” San was the next one to step in in order to calm down the younger alpha. It was sometimes too funny how his keeper had more control over his brother than Hongjoong, but he knew that the reason for it was the amount of time that San had spent in training him. So it was no surprise neither for him or his friends when Mingi’s nakedness blinded them.             “San… take care of them both.”  Hongjoong’s eyes did not leave his mate’s form for even a second when his beta carefully took Yeosang’s hand in his own and guided him towards the door. Seonghwa however was not stopping his warning growls at the others.</p><p>“That was very dick of you.” Mingi commented, eyes glaring at the black beast, whose big eyes stared back at him angrily.           “His friends should be your friends, you hypocrite.”  He spit the last words with hatred and passed the other alpha without fearing that he would attack him from behind. </p><p>An alpha would never do that to an equal to them. And Seonghwa just turned back to his regular form right after Mingi shut the door way too hard. He was panting, representing the same madness that his wolf burst into and he knew that there was no reason for him to freak out that bad, but he needed to shake the anger off.<br/>
Well, one second later and a glimpse of Hongjoong’s face made him feel like an asshole. </p><p>Seonghwa sighed, declaring his retirement from the fight, although he was sure that Hongjoong wasn’t going to let him walk away from this without argument.       “I hate omegas.” He stated, looking around for something to put around himself, since he ripped off his clothes and he didn’t want to have serious conversations with Hongjoong while being completely naked in front of him. </p><p>Hongjoong kept his poker face when he sarcastically commented        “Especially when they are that … close to me?”  He reminded Seonghwa his own words. To be honest Hongjoong actually was interested in the other’s reasons to behave like that.        “But it would do you good to remember that Yeosang is a very close friend, so I’ll not tolerate such kind of treatment from anyone towards him.”  Hongjoong’s eyes shamelessly checked out Seonghwa’s nakedness and realized that this was the very first time that’d seen his own mate completely naked. He was indeed very well proportioned - his shoulders were broad, his waist not too thin, and his legs lean and muscled…. no one would complain of having Seonghwa for his mate. At least he could brag about it, even though nothing intimately was happening between them. </p><p>“What?” Seonghwa clearly misunderstood the look that he was given and frantically picked one of the decorating pillows on the couch to cover up at least some part of himself. His brain was already processing the shame and he felt like an idiot for all that he had done. Which was why… he needed his personal training with Eden.   “Listen, forget about this, it was just… an impulse. Whatever, I didn’t come for that.”  Seonghwa tried to cover up everything quickly before Hongjoong could dig deeper and ask him of why he was so concerned about an omega who shared closeness with him. And it was only fair if Hongjoong wanted to screw someone, since Seonghwa himself gave him a permission to. </p><p>Hongjoong snickered at Seonghwa’s way to protect his bruised ego. To him it was cute(?) and in the same time kind of annoying that his mate had the need to cover himself from his eyes. Yet, his mind knew that the instinct that was guiding him was not reasonable. They were not that involved, but the bond which they had sealed was pulling them to one another. </p><p>“You kept your wolf form hidden from me all that time… and you just shift for everyone to see you? Now, now.. as your mate I should receive at least some special treatment.”  Whatever made Hongjoong move up and towards Seonghwa, he wouldn’t even want to think about. He reached for the decorative pillow and pulled it out of the other’s strong grip. </p><p>The shame that flickered into Seonghwa’s eyes only irritated Hongjoong.          “Stop hiding from me.” </p><p>“Hiding?”  Seonghwa asked, not realizing exactly when he shifted from being mad and hurt into being this confused and startled by his mate.</p><p>It was ridiculous how honest Hongjoong’s reply was, considering the situation.      “You were hiding behind the alcohol before the ceremony. Even during it. Then you started hiding your wolf from me… and now that?” He threw the pillow at a random direction. Hongjoong really didn’t know why he was so provoked to share his thoughts with Seonghwa, but he just wanted him to know how unfair that was for him.         “Stop hiding.” He did not reach for the other physically, but … he needed them to be at least mentally connected. As mates. </p><p>Seonghwa opened his mouth to argue, but couldn’t. It didn’t change the fact that his pride wasn’t going to back away against anyone. He was triggered by Dara and her choice of words earlier. Words that still managed to sting no matter how distracting Hongjoong was. Seonghwa’s eyes roamed on him and he stared at pair of pretty eyes, eyebrows furrowed with something disturbing and his lips…. his lips were just dry and inviting. </p><p>“I can’t.”  Seonghwa insisted on his own words and raised his chin up proudly.         “Don’t expect me to be your best friend now, just because we live together.”</p><p>Hongjoong realized how pointless it was to ask that from the other, and the rejection which engulfed all his senses only made it worse. His fingers fisted into his palms. </p><p>“Then don’t forget why we’re living together. Soon we’ll be challenged to fight and if you are not prepared for it that will destroy all I’ve been fighting for. And I will not allow that.”  Hongjoong was harsh and cold as stone.        “I will not ask for permission anymore. Tomorrow I’m joining your training and if I have to, I’ll train you myself.”  He continued without bashing an eye for Seonghwa’s thoughts          “I commented nothing on your abilities so far, but know… if I mated to a weakling… you will regret it the most amongst all of your clan.”  The finality with which Hongjoong spoke was undeniable. He was absolutely serious.</p><p>But his words created a gap between them that Seonghwa was going to close with a lot of efforts. He closed his eyes and started repeating in his head that it was better if Hongjoong thought of him as weak, a coward. He repeated that like mantra and yet, he was sure that he couldn’t give the other a reason to think otherwise.<br/>
It was humiliating for an alpha to be called weak, to be tamed like that and considered as something as small as the grass was, but it was better that way. </p><p>“I came here to tell you… that my clan is threatened.”  He said instead of digging into his own wound and stepped aside, picking up the arena invitation that he had received from his mother. Then he turned around and picked one of Hongjoong’s hands, passing him the letter.           “They think that we are a weak pair, I thought that you deserve to see it by yourself.”</p><p>The thrill which ran through Hongjoong was pure excitement and anticipation. </p><p>They were challenged.</p><p>Finally. </p><p>His eyes scanned the words quickly and a small smile played on his lips.             “They think that we’ll surrender?” A rough laughter erupted deep within his chest.       “They’ll have to win first.”  And just like that Hongjoong forgot about their argument, about Seonghwa’s naked form. The only thing that mattered to him was that finally he was given a chance to step onto the arena and take revenge for every piece of land that had been ripped from his parents grasp. He couldn’t wait for it.           “You should take rest, Seonghwa. Tomorrow will not be easy for you.”</p><p>“Sorry, what?”  The other’s expression broke into a frown and he folded his arms in front of his chest. It was one thing to call him a coward, but to imply that he needed a rest was not just kicking his ego, but stabbing it.       “I’ve rested enough, besides I had a mental breakdown downstairs while you were flirting with that bitch, mate.”</p><p>“Weren’t you the one who gave me your blessing to seek outside what I can’t find at home?” Hongjoong fired back at the other. </p><p>Seonghwa gaped shortly, mouth closing after a moment. Why was Hongjoong that smart?         “Well it was only fair to make you taste of your own bullshit.” He still found what to say in the end and rocked an eyebrow. </p><p>“Meaning?”  Hongjoong raised an eyebrow at the other, fully expecting and explanation for his words. </p><p>“Meaning how you got jealous over Eden and gave me shit yesterday.” Seonghwa reasoned smartly and smiled a little at his own victory.        “Though, I was cooler when I stepped in and went crazy for you. Which was… just an instinct.”</p><p>The red haired one blinked a couple of times, as if trying to remember what the other was talking about… since it was true.       “Should I have Yeosang visit me more often? Next time, I’ll invite him in the bedroom.”  Hongjoong replied only for the sake of keeping the argument going. He had no other weapon at the moment.</p><p>Seonghwa’s smile died faster than his will to fight Mingi minutes ago and he sighed angrily, looking away from Hongjoong. It was beyond his pride to threaten the other and do exactly what Hongjoong probably expected him to do. That’s why he just let his mind wander for a moment and decided to drop the fight before they end up at each other’s throats again. </p><p>He was composed, calm, strict and educated. </p><p>Also not jealous over a stupid omega who was nearly pissing in his pants by Seonghwa’s great wolf. </p><p>“And I was thinking to take you out before the fight…” Seonghwa said out of the blue.          “....so you can see the Eastern territory. There is a cliff there that I cherish. It's breathtaking if you jump down and let the water take over your mind and body.”</p><p>Something twisted in Hongjoong’s stomach.      “You were?”  The doubt was clear in his voice, but only he knew how interested the other’s idea sounded to him. His eyes were skimming Seonghwa’s face carefully, trying to find answers there. </p><p>“Yes, before you wanted our bed to smell like someone else.” The taller one said and rolled his eyes on the red haired to return the look.         “Apologize.”</p><p>“The only apology you’ll get is that… it didn’t happen.”  Hongjoong was not going to back down, but he really wanted to know what Seonghwa was talking about.        “Should we go there now? As I can see you have no intention of going to training today. At least we could kill some time.” </p><p>Nope, Hongjoong was not asking Seonghwa to take him out.  He was just … hoping to find out for what exactly he was going to fight soon about.<br/>
Nothing more, nothing less. Nope. </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes lingered on the other’s face as he got startled all over again. Now that was interesting. He hadn’t had the chance to know anything about Hongjoong’s interest and to see his eyes sparkle with exactly that emotion was just forcing him to drop everything and do whatever the hell that boy wanted. Which was again very stupid thing to do, considering that he wanted to just tease Hongjoong and leave him alone right after that. But it suddenly just got replaced by a need to please him. His mate who wasn’t guilty for Seonghwa’s anger. </p><p>“Change your clothes. We are going with my bike.”  He said in a stoic manner and seized the other up and down as if he was wearing the most unfittable outfit for that ride.         “And I like to go fast.”  He said and turned on his heels, giving Hongjoong the time and pleasure to appreciate his nakedness for another moment.</p><p>Just before Seonghwa could be out of earshot, Hongjoong snickered after him. </p><p>“I like the tattoo.” </p><p>********************</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Fighting.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chapter 4</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I always know ….. right before I fall I always know that I am going to fall. In my head, I replay the moment before I fall … over and over again, so that I can avoid falling, but I always fall.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Eden was standing at the edge of the cliff, his hand dug into the black wolf’s fur. He could feel the wounds, Seonghwa was sure, but he didn’t show any sign of remorse. His face was straight and stoic. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Falling is not dangerous. If you jump from this cliff for example, your body will go straight down and you’d dive into the water.” Eden said, eyes looking down at the calm waters. The cliff was dangerous, towering rocks that stood almost vertically. It looked very high, but Eden didn’t seem scared from it.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You can stay there, Seonghwa...”  Eden continued.        “.... do nothing and eventually drown, or you can try and do something - like swim to safety.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The black wolf slowly raised, not limping despite the open cut spread on its hip where even skin was missing. The fur surrounding the wound was torn. He should have felt pain. He should have felt something. But he was just empty. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I feel as if I’d just fall into darkness ….’     Seonghwa’s crimson eyes looked up at Eden and the man put a hand behind his left ear, rubbing the spot gently.         ‘These days it just threatens to swallow me.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let go.”  Eden mumbled, staring at Seonghwa’s eyes.        “Just jump and let go.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘And if I drown?’   </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You will figure it out. Find a solution, Seonghwa.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The wolf jumped from the cliff, his big body flying straight down to the water. When dived in, Seonghwa’s body transformed. He didn’t expect it, nor he believed that he would feel scared to jump down as a wolf, but his naked human limbs stretched once the water surrounded him, and he closed his mouth to hold his last breath in. The water was so cold it stung. Every touch stole Seonghwa's heat, but he just let it pull him deeper, deeper into the darkness, just like in his imagination. He was sinking. He was sinking faster than he had thought he would and the panic had his heart hammering against his ribcage. He was underwater for only several seconds, but it felt longer. Soon the lack of oxygen was going to take away everything. His bad thoughts, his fears, the worries that he wouldn’t be able to swim up and save himself. For a moment there, he just….. let the ocean take away everything. His eyes hurt as he thought that he was crying, his lungs burning, but yet it was nothing that could kill him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was the first time in two weeks that he wasn’t a wolf anymore. The other part of Seonghwa took over and promised to save the wolf, just like the water promised to clean his wounds and wash the damages away. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seonghwa wasn’t a monster while his body was helplessly sinking to the dark, cold bottom of the sea. He was just a boy who wanted to save himself. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When his senses reminded him that he needed air, Seonghwa found the solution that Eden was talking about. It was easy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His instincts saved him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His arms and legs just moved, pushing his strong body up until his head showed above the water. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He filled up his lungs with the fresh air, the wind brushing against his soaked skin. The sun just promised to take care of him and he felt warm, despite the cold water underneath him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was the day that Seonghwa dedicated to do something. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Diving and swimming. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just because his alpha was scared from it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Riding a motorcycle had always brought a sense of calmness and ease to Seonghwa’s mind and body, which could be replaced only by meditation or swimming. His matte black, high-performance Kawasaki H2R bike, was his therapist, as it made him feel energised and refreshed after each long  or short ride. The bike was perfect - tall, with big engines and fuel tanks, these are built for long, far rides, mostly on-road—and through mud, and sand, so long as they have the right tires. Done right, these are the bikes that should make everyone want to quit their job and ride forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Seonghwa it didn’t matter if it was raining, if the sun was shining or whatever, as long as he was having that speed. Riding involved handling over different elements like noise, danger, speed control, balance, physical skill, and mechanics. He had always felt content, he just needed to go faster….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted Hongjoong to <em>feel</em> it. That vibe ….. When his spirits are low, when the day is dark, when his life was monotonous, when something start buzzing nervously though him, when his anxiety promise to finish him, for Seonghwa, he would just jump on the bike and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride that he was taking. He wanted Hongjoong to feel it now and he had the boy wrapped tight around his torso in order to keep balance, with a helmet on his head. Seonghwa was full speed riding down, following the road to the Eastern wild side of their territory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where the cliff was… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel Hongjoong’s fast heart rate and he wanted to smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The amazing view of the cliff exposed for the two of them and just then Seonghwa turned the speed bars and slowed down until he eventually stopped right where the off road lead them to a wild path. He waited for Hongjoong to get off the bike first and followed him, both of them removing the helmets. They pressed them against the bike and as Hongjoong’s eyes started roaming around the free nature and the mightiness of the cliff, Seonghwa bit his lip in expectation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was weird why he felt nervous now, when he brought his mate to a place that mattered to him. Even though he and Hongjoong were not close and had no deeper connection than the bite marks on their necks, even though Hongjoong had no clue of the value that the cliff had for Seonghwa, he wanted him to see it. He wanted Hongjoong to feel free. Just like Seonghwa used to feel when he was coming up here, two years ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa had abandoned the cliff when he made the decision to banish his life and go to another side of Jeju, one that his parents weren’t holding tight. Even there, they still had a wrap around Seonghwa’s neck, a collar with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Park </span>
  </em>
  <span>tag. He still had a piece of freedom anyway, for a short period of time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was good while it lasted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had Hongjoong now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa’s eyes crossed the curious face of Hongjoong with something close to admiration. He found it fascinating how the wind was messing the red locks of the other, playing with his hair until it was wildly disheveled. The way Hongjoong's eyes sparkled with curiosity and something close to appreciation made Seonghwa feel even worse. His stomach made weird flips and his nervous habits started to show as he started playing with his tongue piercing, letting it rub his lips. He had no idea why he decided to bring Hongjoong here. Yes, he wanted him to feel and value the Eastern side, something within him wanted to show Hongjoong what it felt like to be <em>free</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But this place had deeper meaning for Seonghwa and he couldn’t stop the disturbance that weighed on his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So this is… a place where I used to come often.”  Seonghwa said to break the silence, pressing Hongjoong to acknowledge <em>him</em> as well. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A weird type of feeling made him want his mate to have his eyes on him.       </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You used to?” Hongjoong glanced at Seonghwa before fully turning around to enjoy the view in front of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Seonghwa first brought up the idea of both of them going out, spending time together, Hongjoong did not take the suggestion as something that they’d actually do. At least not with the way Seonghwa’s careless way of communicating with him - it was just too unconvincing. Yet, once when Seonghwa appeared fully clothed in his riding gear, looking like a badass rocker, well, Hongjoong couldn’t look away from his mate. Yet no praise could leave his lips. When Seonghwa had shown him the bike and gestured at him to just get on it, the small flame of excitement within the red haired one, ignited to the point that he felt it not only in the pit of his stomach but - he felt it running through his veins. His primitive nature was taken aback from Seonghwa’s posture - tall and lean, nicely toned and the black colour of his clothing only made him even more attractive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>Attractive</em>, Hongjoong admitted it. Seonghwa really could take his breath away with how he behaved on the bike -  in control on the machine, not minding even one of the road laws. Hongjoong was not sure whether he was pressing himself closer to Seonghwa’s back while they were still on the bike, because he feared falling from the roaring machine, or just because he wanted to feel his skin pressed to the leather his mate was wearing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, once his feet were once again on steady ground, Hongjoong's senses were all over the place. He felt like green colour of the grass was even greener. The chill which the wind brought to him once it hit him was even chilier. The dark blue which he could see from the cliff, was even darker, to the point he thought the sea was completely black. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong was completely engulfed not only by the view, but by his mate and it was totally confusing and in the same time right for him. One part of him - blamed everything to the bond which he felt was starting to grow stronger, while the other one - reasoned that it was natural and how it was supposed to be. He had to admit to and for himself which side had to take over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard Seonghwa talking to him, but Hongjoong could not even understand the words. So he cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant, you say it like you don’t want to come here again? You said ‘<em>used to</em>’.” The red haired one finally turned back to stare at Seonghwa. The fuck if he was not gorgeous in that moment - leaning on his bike as if he was once again inviting Hongjoong to hop on it and just drive away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An eyebrow perked up as Seonghwa stared back curiously.        “I guess we really have troubles with communicating.”  He said amusedly and looked away at the sea that poked over in the distance. Seonghwa inhaled from the fresh scent and tried to grasp at least one feeling from his past. One of the positive feelings. Like when he was throwing rocks at the bottom of the cliff, tying to let them hop on the surface at least three times and Chan would laugh in the background, sunbathing along with Jia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa used to recover nicely, yes. But he had never came back here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will repeat myself for you.”  Seonghwa said and rolled his eyes back on Hongjoong. The moment when their eyes met, Seonghwa’s body tensed. The look on the other’s face was curious, seizing him up, and he had no idea if he liked it. He posed strongly anyway and returned the favor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong had a ripped denim jacket on, a loosen vest revealing his skin to the middle of his chest. The exposure of his collar bones and the red mark on the side of his neck were giving Seonghwa a chance to appreciate his looks even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If nothing, his mother had taste. Although Hongjoong was nothing that Seonghwa would pick as a one night stand due to many reasons, he would never deny the clear fact that it was rare to find an alpha like Hongjoong - having such pretty face, smaller form and somehow still walk like he could destroy everyone on his way with one bite. There was something in Hongjoong that screamed <em>power</em> and it was showing in his gait, in his confident posture, in the way he spoke, even laughed. Hongjoong was cocky and mean, aggressive and probably had anger issues in dealing with his own problems. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet, he looked stunning, standing at Seonghwa’s precious cliff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right then, Seonghwa reminded himself that he couldn’t allow himself to judge the other alpha, because he was still just a stranger to him. So he stopped accusing and just looked away again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I used to come here with my brother and Jia. I perfected swimming here, meditated and took a very important decision for myself.”  Seonghwa said all of that briefly and just then took a breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong just hummed at his words. His eyes were still on a complete lock down over Seonghwa’s form. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was the decision about?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To leave.”  Seonghwa said, not looking at him.        “This is why I have troubles over myself. I’m not used to be myself. This doesn’t make any sense, but it worked for as much as I could be away from the clan. And yes, if you wanna ask something else, shoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Seonghwa trying to open up, to bond just a little more with Hongjoong? That was the only explanation that he could think off, considering their constant bickering so far. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you leave?”  It was not like Hongjoong could just miss his chance in using the carde blanche that the other just gave him. During their first meeting on their ‘<em>engagement</em>’ gathering, Hongjoong mentioned to the other that he was prepared, that he had Seonghwa’s background covered - it was not a lie, he knew the basics, but for some reason there was nothing much that could be actually found out. Even within their society, the information which Hongjoong gathered was limited. <em>An alpha heir who had ran off to live human life, drawing back from their world while forsaking his obligations</em>. Hongjoong’s first impression of Seonghwa was just the same - someone who did not fit his assigned purpose. Of course, being a Kim meant everything for Hongjoong and he did not think twice when the opportunity came - to show everyone how wrong they were in stepping down on his clan name; and when the Dara Park approached him with sweet lies of her deserter son, Hongjoong knew that he’d just have to gulp it down. And now when he had the further chance to actually understand why Seonghwa had done it, to leave everything behind and not look back only until it was absolutely necessary, he had to grasp it and </span>
  <em>
    <span>understand </span>
  </em>
  <span>Seonghwa</span>
  <span> and his reasons. Hongjoong didn’t want to assume anymore, to stick tags on the other and judge him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was true that his wolf side was pushing him for that… just to</span>
  <em>
    <span> breathe in</span>
  </em>
  <span> the other, but his human side was interested as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Seonghwa did not start talking for more than a minute, Hongjoong moved closer to the other, as if in silent manner to support him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa instantly felt the close presence invading his personal space and looked at Hongjoong questiongly, keeping his hands locked in front of his chest in defensive position. It was a posture that </span>
  <em>
    <span>screamed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to Hongjoong to stay back. His eyes narrowed at his mate and he wanted to take his own suggestion back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A part of him wanted to speak, to leave a different impression in Hongjoong rather than the image of a coward. And then Seonghwa thought that there was nothing to really worry about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a <em>Park</em>, he was born liar. He could speak lies better than anything else. And yet, Hongjoong was demanding an answer and Seonghwa wanted to back down and give it to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was hurt.”  Seonghwa shared easily, giving Hongjoong a side smile. Pathetic try.          “I figured that I feel good when I am far away from my clan, so I left. As you can see, it didn’t work out for long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”  Hongjoong knew when to back down, it was not as if he actually done it usually since he’s competitive nature had always encouraged him to press and push harder until he finally obtained what he wanted. However, noticing the defensive posture of Seonghwa, of his <em>mate</em>, towarded to him, it made Hongjoong immediately bit his tongue. It was not like he needed all his answers right now and then.         “Someday, you’ll trust me enough to tell me about it.”  He smiled at Seonghwa as wanted him to just see how honest he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am not hurt now.”  Seonghwa flashed another smile, this time more confidence showing up from his side. He literally pushed that topic over the cliff that stood behind Hongjoong and headed over another direction. As the good manipulator that he was born to be, also.         “If we don’t include my current heartache.”  Seonghwa said sarcastically and screwed eyes at Hongjoong’s pretty face.      “Can you handle talking about that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hongjoong</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Hongjoong was taken aback from the course that the other directed the conversation into.       “Elaborate, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seonghwa</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  Sarcasm dripped from the other when his mate’s name left his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well the one that I long for …..is absent.” Seonghwa said and paused shortly.    “My pride is too big to let me call <em>him</em>.”  Seonghwa could feel that what he said was several degrees of <em>wrong</em>, but his defense mechanism was pushing him over extreme edges and this time….. this time he had no idea why he so desperately wanted to keep Hongjoong away from himself. He continued talking anyway, pushing his body to move. Seonghwa left the bike and met Hongjoong’s shorter form midway, stopping right in front of him - one foot away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel the breeze that messed their hairs, he could see the crimson sun setting down behind Hongjoong and the whole atmosphere tensed around them. Seonghwa was stepping on a thin ice, trying to agitate the one person who was only trying to approach him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa didn’t want to let it happen, because he was selfish. Because he believed that his heart belonged to that black haired boy, who would never turn his way. Wooyoung didn’t love him, <em>obviously</em>, but love was cruel… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love made people go mad, think wild and feel miserable. Being in love with someone who doesn’t belong to you was a nightmare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa knew that he was owned now, bitten by an alpha, whose fire he could see even now as his stern eyes were locked at Seonghwa. It made him flinch, but not step back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still…. in love with that person and it’s killing me.”  Seonghwa spat, hatred showing in his voice.          “You said that my feelings are going to fade, so I have a question for you… when?”   A deep breath was sucked in and Seonghwa felt like something just flipped inside of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Probably the memory of what had happened here, probably his past was haunting him and the only person who kept him back on his safe place was giving him a cold shoulder when Seonghwa needed him the most. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damn, he didn’t want to fuck Wooyoung anymore. He wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When am I gonna stop wanting </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Seonghwa said at last, pouring his heart out in front of his</span>
  <em>
    <span> mate</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like the balloon, which Hongjoong had been in, puffed to the point he felt like he was having trouble breathing - not from something else but anger. Had he not shown Seonghwa that he was trying to understand him? Had he not been the nicest part of himself in front of him? Hongjoong tried to step back every time when Seonghwa was oppressed, which was a basic instinct for him to crush him down in the first place, yet the other was not seeing Hongjoong's effort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was the one that did not understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was the one that was everything else but nice to Hongjoong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you even realize what you’re saying?.”  His composure was destroyed by couple of words from the other. Hongjoong wanted to scream at him, to show him how his neck was burning from the rejection that he felt right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only then did </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hongjoong </span>
  </em>
  <span>realize what sacrifice he had done when he accepted to mate in the name of his clan. The prospect of feeling like this for the rest of his life was unthinkable for Hongjoong. He had been so damn sure that the bond would erase everything prior it. And here his mate was, declaring out loud that it was not happening exactly as Hongjoong had predicted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even the sight of regret flashing into Seonghwa’s eyes was not enough of a redeem for Hongjoong. At that very moment, Hongjoong did not want to have anything with the person standing in front of him. On the contrary, he wanted to smash him down, to crush him into bloody pool only so he could show him what he was capable of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, the second those images played into his mind, Hongjoong just knew that he was imagining his own mate close to death and that repulsed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The anger, disappointment, disgust and nausea all mixed inside the red haired to the point he could not differ them. And for the first time in his whole life, Hongjoong ran away. He didn’t even realize when had he shifted to his wolf form and took off in the first direction that his eyes glanced at. He just couldn’t be around Seonghwa. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left his wolf to take over as his consciousness drifted away into blissful nothingness.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hongjoong.”  Seonghwa’s first instinct was to follow, then the sharp pain at the right side of his neck made his hand move up and lock around the mating mark. Seonghwa frowned, getting a whiplash of something that he couldn’t even describe, but it was close to panic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ho..” Seonghwa looked around, spotting his bike and just hopped on it, thinking about one thing only, as if everything else just got locked up in a room that he decided to close just this one time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started the engine and twisted the speed bars, riding after Hongjoong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he thought was clear, sharp and primitive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pain on his neck reminded him of rejection and he wanted to shorten the distance between them no matter how hard Hongjoong was trying to run away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop sulking.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa shot Yunho a glare and the other dismissed it with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mind your business.”  He retorted, looking at his claws as he was currently trying to shape shift just part of himself, keeping a great balance. Eden had given him something to practice for the day, since he assumed that Seonghwa wasn’t in mood for training. He was fine doing that and it worked for his concentration. For a short time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are my business, dude.”  Yunho chuckled, but what the fuck was even funny? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Greetings, boys.” </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Chan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hairs at the back of his neck stood and Seonghwa growled at the direction of the door, gripping at the nearest furniture and threw it against the doorway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, what is this…” Chan dodged the chair that Seonghwa threw at his direction and sighed, closing the door behind his back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa was seated on the ground at one of their guest rooms, hiding in his own private area, currently as far as he could be from Hongjoong. Some would ask why? Seonghwa just wanted to give Hongjoong a fucking break. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said…” Seonghwa turned to face his brother and his eyes narrowed at his bewildered  expression.         “...I copy - </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not hard to handle a mate</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  He hissed the last words angrily and gripped at the second chair that was within his reach, ready to strike again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan sighed with content.          “So...You fucked up </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  Seonghwa insisted, feeling Yunho’s eyes on himself and that made him turn to his keeper.         “I didn’t do anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I can run a list with what you did wrong.” Yunho said and shook his head.         “I was away for a week and you already started this relationship backwards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which means?” Chan looked concerned, frowning slightly while resting his back against the door just in case Seonghwa decided to attack him with another object. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This… relationship?” Seonghwa’s lips parted, his piercing showing angrily. He was so not going to let Yunho nag at him for what he did wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yunho turned to Chan and smiled.         “Fight and then love. Old couples do it the other way around, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both Chan and Seonghwa looked as if someone slapped them with a rag across the faces. Yunho shrugged, unbothered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean…. Seonghwa had to befriend Hongjoong, grow fond of him and then fight for bullshits.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First of all, we don’t have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>relationship</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”    Seonghwa growled through his teeth and his jaw flexed. He had no idea why he was that pissed off right now, as if Chan was really at fault for asking him to mate with the most…. stubborn prick in the world. Which he did, so yes, Seonghwa was pissed at his brother exactly for that reason.          “What we have right now is a nightmare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which again…. leads to the main issue.” Yunho smiled sarcastically and patted his temples.         “You clearly don’t wanna accept the fact that you have a mate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is that? I think Hongjoong is nice.”  Chan replied with clear honesty, curiously staring from Yunho to his brother, who was slowly but accurately trying to kill him with his dark glare.         “What did you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I….I crossed the line.” Seonghwa said and pulled his shirt over his head, feeling too hot to wear any clothes. His skin was burning, mostly the bite mark, which Hongjoong chose to abandon for a fucking day. The clock on the wall was only reminding Seonghwa that Hongjoong wasn’t going to come and find him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, maybe he said the wrong thing, in the wrong time, but Hongjoong wanted to take out information, he wanted to get to know Seonghwa. Wooyoung was a part of him one way or another and then this burning anger that Seonghwa had constantly following him -bursted out of the blue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second when Hongjoong felt bad and left the cliff side, Seonghwa realized two things - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>1st was that he couldn’t let Hongjoong slip away from him, as the distance increased, the mark on his neck was promising to rip his skin and kill him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2nd was that he was an absolute asshole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night that fell upon Seonghwa was fucking absurd. His skin was burning where it was irritated and he was waking up from his sleep with the urge to be comforted. Seonghwa wanted to let a cry out or just chase after his mate, pin him down wherever he was and ask him to sooth the mark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa wanted to demand attention, but he was the one at fault. So he sucked in the need and let Hongjoong come to him whenever he felt like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, that didn’t work out as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then apologize.”  Chan said, sharing a smile with the other two. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa was about to protest, but he saw Yunho nod his head in agreement with what Chan had said. Why on earth everyone asked of him to apologize? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong wasn’t a fucking saint. He broke Seonghwa’s nose and yet no one had the balls to lecture him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Hongjoong was part of their family now, he had to be treated as an equal fucking member of the Parks. Which meant<em> to eat shit from everyone for nothing</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say it like it’s easy.”  Seonghwa said, looking up from beneath his dark locks. Chan was still smiling, reassuring him with a warm look. A look that Seonghwa somehow missed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The realization that he hadn’t spend much time with his brother for the last 2 years stung his heart, but Seonghwa showed up for him when Chan needed him. Just like Chan stood with him when he was lost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa felt guilt creeping under his skin. He knew that he had to really apologize for being stubborn and rude. But that meant that his pride was going to take another hit. He was constantly contradicting himself and it seemed like nothing worked well for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it is easy.”  Chan’s voice cut his thoughts and Seonghwa frowned.           “Just go to him. Tell him that your mark is painful, because I am sure that even </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>can feel the burn.  It is not a physical pain, Seonghwa, this is why it bothers you. Trust me, Hongjoong</span>
  <span> won’t reject you when it comes to something that affects your bond.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is pathetic.” Seonghwa stood up from the ground and started walking to the door, sweating for nothing in particular. He approached his brother like a mad predator and raised his chin proudly when he was standing right in front of Chan.          “But I can tell him that I need his presence around me and that he can’t avoid me anymore.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See? He is so full of himself.”  Yunho threw his hands in the air.          “With all the power given to me, I can only try to kick his ass and put sense to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seonghwa won’t dare to approach Hongjoong like <em>that</em>.” Chan said calmly and pulled away from the door, shooting Seonghwa with a smile.           “Let your mate heal you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chan, for fucks sake, this mating was arranged by </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you, my dad, </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucking parents, and not me.”  Seonghwa’s scowl was deep and threatening, his chest was raising and falling angrily and his fists were clenched hard.           “He is not supposed to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arranged or not, you are bonded to Hongjoong now. First of all, learn how to respect him, just right after that demand what you want. Stop acting like a kid, Seonghwa, this boy is not your enemy. He doesn’t wanna hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that small outburst, Chan was out of the room and Seonghwa gaped after him, feeling how a huge hammer just smashed him to the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is right.”  Yunho said and sighed, pressing a hand on his shoulder.            “Now go and don’t disappoint me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa frowned, running a hand through his black hair. He left the room with a defeated  ‘<em>Whatever</em>’. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>**************</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>20 hours. That was the exact time that Hongjoong had been avoiding Seonghwa. After he came back to the Park’s mansion - since no matter how angry he was, he’d not purposely inflict pain to himself when setting physical distance between him and his mate - he’d marched into his brother’s room. Mingi knew Hongjoong like the back of his own hand, so he knew better than to  ask stupid questions. Hongjoong'</span>
  <span>s emotions were pouring out of him like waves and at some point in the morning, Mingi decided to leave him in the hands of his advisor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>San also was not someone who wanted to dwell into matters that did not directly concern him, however his insides twisted when it came to caring for Hongjoong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, he played as if nothing happened in order to distract Hongjoong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’d be best to go back home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A growl was directed at San.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not permanently. Just so we can check upon the situation.” He said.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If something happened we’d be the first to be notified. After all, now that </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>have the legal right to challenge whomever </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to.”  Hongjoong addressed the other as if he was mentally challenged to even consider such scenario. The topic only made Hongjoong even more innerved - it reminded him of his plan, of his purpose, of his lack of reasoning, of his mate. Hongjoong shook his head so he could clear his head. He had to tone it down, to calm down and not anger himself more. The whole reason why he had spent the night with his brother Mingi and not Seongwha, was to put some space between them. To have time and compose himself, because he couldn’t believe first - what Seonghwa had said; and second - how he had reacted … running away. There was no pride in running away. Hongjoong should have stayed back and fought Seonghwa as he had done previously both physically and verbally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that you mentioned it…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have one week until the fight with the Jungs.”  The alpha finished San’s words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop acting as if you don’t need anyone.” San said. A hard glare was directed at the keeper’s direction, but he did not pay any mind to it.  He had not been so many years beside Hongjoong for nothing. San had to step in when he found it was needed, after all that was his job.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am in this situation, exactly because I need someone, ain’t I?” Hongjoong fired back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made the decision, and you can’t blame anyone.” San was the voice of reason and Hongjoong understood it, but that did not mean that he’d easily acknowledge it. Hongjoong also had the right to feel down when he was …. rejected? Humiliated? Even that was not enough to describe how he felt right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know where I stand, San. You don’t need to remind me.” His pride was hurt and the wound was openly bleeding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” San nodded as he stood up from the couch that he’d been occupying all day long, just because Hongjoong didn’t want to leave the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re going out, find Mingi and tell him to come and make me company. I hate it here.”  Hongjoong stated. The colours of his true feelings were slowly but surely showing and San found it the best time to ask the question that bothered his pretty head all day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did he do to upset you that much?” San honestly could not believe what he was seeing - Hongjoong barricading himself in a room, not having any intention of showing his nose out of the perimeter which he deemed safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing.” Hongjoong pressed through gritted teeth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>Stop</em>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you angry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to keep your ground and not let some coward to offend you.”  San changed his strategy. He openly offended an alpha’s mate. He whom was not of the same status as both of them. That was considered outrageous and if they lived during different time, centuries ago - San could even have lost his head for saying aloud such thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep your tongue tight, keeper. You will not voice out even a word without respect when you refer to my mate.”  Hongjoong hissed. He was also on his feet. His voice was cold as steel, even though fire was dancing in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really consider him your mate.” San stated. He was supporting Hongjoong so far, leaving him be, since that was the best that could happen to their clan. Both of their minds were brainwashed to the point that the clan stood above everything else, even their own good. And Hongjoong had proven himself worthy in the eyes of every member of their family. He had proven what he was ready to do, so all of them stood a chance against their enemy. Even though everyone respected his decision, no one opposed it. When it come to it, everyone was rooting for what was best for themselves, and it pained San that he had to allow such thing to happen to his friend. At times like this he considered himself lucky being a beta, as no great things were expected of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sympathy was the only thing he could feel when his eyes stared at Hongjoong’s furious glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>my mate.” Hongjoong angrily reminded.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then… stop being such drama queen and go to him.”  San advised evenly. There was no point of denying what was really needed here. They just had to talk and come to an agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drama queen you say” The red haired one was so distraught that he started laughing - all the tension which came from his last meeting with Seonghwa, with the sleep deprived night that he had, since he was missing Seonghwa’s soothing scent to which he was not aware he’d become addicted to in the first place; to keeping himself locked in a room, almost crushing his own fingers from the anticipation that they triggered only by remembering how it felt to touch and hold Seonghwa…. Hongjoong was so, so tired only after 20 hours away from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like seeing you like this, Joong.”  San honestly meant it. The alpha was strong but apparently there were things which could shake his composure and as San had spent most of his life by Hongjoong’s side, he could not mention even couple of times that the other had lost it to such an extend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It sucks, San... it really sucks.”  Hongjoong fell back down on the bed. He wanted to forget. To forget what just a simple confession - that Seonghwa had someone else, thinking about him, desiring him actually, longing for him - meant for Hongjoong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It meant that Hongjoong had allowed his wolf to prevail. That for just couple of days he’d allowed the bond to take over his senses and really accept Seonghwa for his destined one, even though it was pretty clear for him that things did not stand the same with Seonghwa himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had basically screwed himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He understood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to keep Seonghwa for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he realized all of that only because Seonghwa rejected him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My intention is not to be inconsiderate or anything, but we need you at your best game. You can’t allow yourself to be distracted with Seonghwa’s...”  The keeper’s speech was halted due to another hard glare Hongjoong graced him with, however this time the fire in his eyes was not that obvious which meant that finally he was coming to his senses.       “...character?...”  the question mark was sarcastically written in the air for Hongjoong to know how sarcastic San's comment was actually before continuing.       “You have a week to train your wolves to fight together, and not attack one another.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told him I’d join the training today.” Hongjoong admitted, as if only now he remembered the warning he had fired at Seonghwa just the previous day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And instead you spent the whole day with me.” San’s sweet smile followed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know… you suck at consoling people.” Hongjoong took a deep breath.      “And I suck at complaining, which means we’re the perfect match.”  He was once again on his feet on his way without waiting for San to say anything back. His aim was to go back to their own floor and just wait for Seonghwa so they could straighten whatever they had fucked and just agree how they’d move on without killing each other in the meantime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong's plan was great, he just had to come up with a way to remain calm and not burst of pure anger the second his eyes laid over Seonghwa’s form. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he literally bumped into Seonghwa, both of them sucked in deep breaths and their eyes met for a split second. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa glared deep into Hongjoong’s angry eyes, lowering his gaze first in a silent retreat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanna talk.”  He said diplomatically and passed by Hongjoong, heading towards their room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong followed behind the other as he used the couple of seconds that this action gave him, so he could compose himself. Being this close to Seonghwa he could actually feel his distress and that only made Hongjoong want to reach out and touch him. Instead, he reminded himself what Seonghwa had told him, how he was in love with somebody else. Hongjoong wanted to laugh at himself for the masochism he was attacking himself with, as if he was stabbing himself with a knife every time he thought about it. His hands squeezed tightly in fists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Seonghwa closed the door behind Hongjoong once he entered the room, he wanted nothing else than to close the distance between them - instead he moved couple steps further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want to reveal something like … yesterday.. I don’t think it’s the best time.”  Here Hongjoong was, the voice of logic and reason. He really didn’t want to fight with Seonghwa right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then suddenly….        “Are you rejecting me?”  Seonghwa turned to him with something unreadable on his face as he spread his arms to the sides, showing another sign of dejection.         “This fucking mark is killing me all day.”  His impulsive side though, still managed to blow up once their eyes met.         “I know that I was an asshole, but you had enough time to be locked wherever the fuck you were. I’m... “   Seonghwa looked aside, pissed at himself mostly.        “....<em>sorry</em>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The defeated anger which Seonghwa showed made Hongjoong glad for a second there. He was glad that the other felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>because of him, even if it was negative feeling. He deserved it, Hongjoong thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>Sorry</em>?” A nasty remark was thrown at the taller man’s direction.       “What are you exactly <em>sorry</em> for?”  Hongjoong pressed further, wanting the other to clarify the reason for his apology. Probably Seonghwa was only sorry because he felt the bond stretching and bleeding. But Hongjoong doubted Seonghwa’s sorry for his behaviour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other frowned. Why was he really apologizing for? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pride down, Seonghwa was only in this room because someone told him to. Because Chan insisted that it was easy to deal with problems considering his mate and looking at Hongjoong right now…. showed nothing even close to sympathy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa sighed deeply and just went for the action instead, using whatever power he had and approached Hongjoong, pinning him against the wall in the matter of seconds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wrong, wrong, wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly pushed his face into the Hongjoong's neck and let his nose press against the mark that Hongjoong had on his skin, taking in from his scent. But it wasn’t soothing the burning mark, because he was obviously not doing anything to deserve forgiveness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa growled, moving one hand up to hold Hongjoong’s jaw, twisted his head to the side and bared his neck for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just said the wrong thing.”  Seonghwa said, not calming, but slightly shaking from the anger that was keeping him company all night and day.            “Just accept it, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though the close proximity was alluring Hongjoong, as if it was a lulling call for him, he was so not going to allow Seonghwa to prevail.       “Accept what, Seonghwa? To accept that you wanted me to know that I mean nothing to you? That those marks mean nothing for you? You only seek forgiveness to soothe your pain.”  Hongjoong could not even be angry at what was happening anymore. He was so tired. And it was unusual for him yet he just wanted it over with. His plan for coming back to Seonghwa was to set things right, which mean complete honesty, even though it was probably more painful for himself than Seonghwa.         “You think I’m the one rejecting you?”  A dry laugh erupted within Hongjoong's throat.        “You’re the one rejecting me.” He did not dare move from the place in which the taller one was keeping him, because that was only going to lead to him beating the crap out of Seonghwa - honesty or not, his pride was bleeding too much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scent of roses was kind of too bitter and overwhelming. Inhaling it was like poisoning Seonghwa’s soul and he had no idea how to get out of that situation. Just now he felt the value of respecting someone to the point to at least be nice to them. <em>Balance</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa was mastering all kinds of mental restrictions and self control and yet, it all crumbled down when he was forced out of his safe zone and the duties got thrown at his hands in the matter of two weeks. That wasn’t an issue for an alpha, but it was something that a coward would complain about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa knew that whatever he had to say would mean nothing and have no value to Hongjoong. And the fact that the burning at the side of his neck wasn’t stopping even when they were literally pressed against one another just made him think.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mark was burning because he was the one rejecting this whole bond. Nature was punishing Seonghwa for being an idiot and he wanted to bang his head against the wall instead of seeking for comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help me.” Seonghwa mumbled. He sucked in more of Hongjoong’s scent and his grip over his jaw loosened, giving the other the chance to decide. His nose brushed the outlines of the mark on Hongjoong’s neck and his tongue followed a moment later, circling around in slow patterns.        “Wait for me to shake <em>him</em> off. Wait for me to forget about him. I know it’s a fucked up thing to ask, but I don’t wanna push you away like that anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong closed his eyes tightly and sucked in a breath in. The honesty with which Seonghwa pleaded him was not something that his ears could miss…. but the pang in his chest was ten times worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you going to wait if our places were reversed?” He pushed Seonghwa from himself, but it lacked violence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I….”  Seonghwa knew the answer by heart. He wouldn’t have waited, he would've make everything to turn Hongjoong’s life into nightmare and with that, their ship would only sink deep into the sea where nobody could actually help. Seonghwa wasn’t revengeful, but his stubbornness was what put traps in front of him all his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So the answer was again simple.          “I wouldn’t wait, but isn’t that making you different? It doesn’t matter what I’d do when you think and act different. I didn’t plan to bring you to the cliff and break your heart, if that’s what you're thinking. I just got scared of having you too close. So I pushed you back my way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And do you like it when I’m away?”  Hongjoong was sarcastic. Just by the look of Seonghwa it was clear that he’d seen much better days. Yet he wanted to hear it outloud. He wanted the other to acknowledge him, to see him, to feel him. Hongjoong wanted to … make him his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No." Seonghwa said, eyes locking with Hongjoong in a serious battle. He was able to see so much in these deep eyes, but he couldn't understand the meaning. And honestly…. he wished he could just stop thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have your answer.” The second those words left Hongjoong’s lips his mark started burning, as well. It was dull burn, but it was there.        “I will be no one’s replacement.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong bumped Seonghwa’s shoulder on his way out of the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looked like his mission failed, they just couldn’t speak with one another. There was too much pride in both of them. And even if the string that connected him to his mate was aguishly pulling him to go back and provide whatever kind of comfort he was capable of, Hongjoong ignored it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another sleepless night awaiting him, and that was going to freak out his brother… but Hongjoong wanted nothing more but to put more distance between himself and his mate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***********</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something pressed too realistically on the side of Seonghwa’s face. It was to the point where he started choking. Water? Where the fuck was that water coming from? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got brutally pulled by someone, as the slightest touch of that person’s hand was tearing the sleep away from him in a really…. unpleasing way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa sniffed the air, growling lowly at the familiar scent of the loser who decided to interrupt his sleep with water. <em>What was he, 5?</em> </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go play with the pups in the backyard, loser.”  Seonghwa wanted to sleep, really. He was finally on his own bed, wrapped by the nice sheets that had more of Hongjoong’s scent than his own, but at least it put him to sleep after an hour of self destructive thoughts that nearly got him out of the mansion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then came the burning nervousness, followed up by some nerve wrecking anxiety that Seonghwa barely fought. His body was sensitive to all touches, skin burning not only where the mark was, but on various places that he wasn’t ashamed to admit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, Seonghwa touched himself that night, refusing to remember the person whose face showed up in his fantasies, because it was sick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was sick to think of Hongjoong while being horny and worked up, wishing to get off quickly so he could relax. It was wrong in so many ways and Seonghwa was sure that if somebody heard him, they would put another nametag for him - the horny useless bastard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then came the shame…. the shame of desiring the mate that he had, the person who wore a very useless mark on his neck and who was claimed by him for fights only. <em>Politics</em>. That person didn’t deserve to invade Seonghwa’s dreams, because they were dirty. That person deserved respect, but Seonghwa wasn’t even giving him that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes snapped open and he realized that Mingi was hovering over him, splashing cold water on top of him like he was some scam. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care how greedy you think you can be, but my patience runs out here.” Mingi threw the empty bucket that he carried to the side and stood up, giving Seonghwa a chance to actually wake up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa sat up in his bed, not caring that he was actually naked, Mingi didn’t seem to care as well, since he came into his room for a fight. Wrong move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get the fuck out of my bedroom.” Seonghwa warned him, wiping away the water that dripped from his hair. His eyes narrowed at the other alpha, who started walking around the room as if…. as if he was searching for something. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So he didn’t come for a real fight?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”  Seonghwa asked dumbly, still staring at the other when Mingi dared to touch the wardrobe,<em> his</em> wardrobe.         “Ey, get the fuck out of my room, Mingi, seriously”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t even fucking try to lecture me.” Mingi opened the wardrobe with a frown, sneaked his head in and then closed it.          “Where are Hongjoong’s stuff?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa shrugged, clearly confused.        “I don’t follow his every move.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi’s eyes screwed.         “So you don’t even care where Hongjoong puts his clothes?” He asked.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What am I, <em>his stylist?</em>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say one more thing and you’re gonna fly out of this balcony, <em>fucker</em>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Threaten me one more time and you’re gonna go back to your brother - dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi growled, receiving the same kind of a warning from the owner of the room who stood up from the bed finally and walked over to the side, stopping right in front of Hongjoong’s wardrobe. Before he could open it, something really irritated him and he turned to face Mingi, blowing up to him since he was brave enough to - <em>first</em>- wake him up like an idiot - <em>second</em>- wanted to pick Hongjoong’s clothes instead of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”  Seonghwa said and put a hand against the wardrobe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi blinked.       “No what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell him to come take his clothes alone. No, you know what…. where is he?”  Seonghwa asked, his eyes already burning with anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The posture of the other alpha hardened and his chin raised up. So Mingi was acting cocky now, huh?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I can bring you to the ground if you don’t start explaining what the fuck is going on?” Seonghwa hissed, raised his voice and in the end yelled at the other. Mingi on the other hand just stared stoically and the sides of his lips perked up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Your mate</span>
  </em>
  <span>…. doesn’t want </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>presence. So he asked</span>
  <em>
    <span> me</span>
  </em>
  <span>…. to come and take his clothes.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A deep warning growl left Seonghwa's throat and he stared at Mingi’s confident smirk that irritated him to extreme levels. So Mingi was having fun, came to make a fool out of Seonghwa and in the end leave with Hongjoong’s belongings? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not in that lifetime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seonghwa sucked in a breath and opened the wardrobe, pulling out everything that he could carry, feeling Mingi’s sharp eyes on himself the whole time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yo, what are you doing?”  Mingi asked, breaking his stoic expression with something close to anger.          “Helping me to kick my brother out of his damn room? Just how fucked up are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough to not stand this bullshit. If he wanna leave, then fine. I’m gonna kick him out with pleasure.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes like a snob, winning the fight in his own head and turned around, still carrying clothes in his hands when he heard Mingi’s deep growl from behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put some clothes on, asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That speech…. just made something within Seonghwa spin, twist, and then it amused him on a whole new level. He turned to glance at Mingi and took the upper hand in the conversation. Of course on his own mean way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think he hasn't seen me naked already? You are so innocent, Mingi.” With that he turned around to leave the room. Seonghwa didn’t need directions when it came to finding Hongjoong. He just followed the scent, his instinct and mostly - let his anger to guide him to a room that he didn’t even want to enter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was weird how Seonghwa felt irritated by the fact that Hongjoong was sleeping in his brother’s room when they were just…. brothers. But the different scent that hit his nose when he got into the room made him frown and he dropped down the bunch of clothes on the ground, looking up to meet Hongjoong’s eyes. The other was still digging in his phone, and to Seonghwa’s surprise…. Hongjoong was wearing something that belonged to Mingi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A long black shirt…. his legs were naked, his hair damp, still carrying the scent of a shampoo and fuck, all of that only pushed Seonghwa’s buttons on the wrong way. Hongjoong wasn’t looking up at him even if he probably noticed Seonghwa's presence when he was three doors away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But no, Hongjoong was a proud bitch as well, so Seonghwa had to win his attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you wanna live here now?”  Seonghwa asked in a low voice and lowered his gaze over the other’s spread boy. How was Hongjoong so calmly laying on that bed while he was angry to the edge of his patience from the second that he opened his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mingi wasn’t guilty…. Hongjoong was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like I want, I have to.” Was Hongjoong’s harsh reply.        “I’m not masochist enough to actually leave.. but when the bond is … I’ll go.”  He turned to look at Seonghwa and if he noticed his naked form, no reaction made it to his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What Hongjoong meant was pretty obvious and Seonghwa couldn’t believe how much anger that brought to him. Basically his mate told him that he wanted to leave but because their</span>
  <em>
    <span> connection </span>
  </em>
  <span>was keeping them close to one another, he couldn’t do it. So he intended to remain close to him, but it was only so that he could save them the trouble of going though what had happened on their first day as a mated couple when Seonghwa wanted to go back to Wooyoung. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really…. so you can fucking stay here and have fun with Mingi.”   Seonghwa said, the sarcasm streaming out of him, merging with the undying anger. But his eyes were not moving from Hongjoong’s bare legs and as much as he wanted to tell him to fucking wear some clothes even in Mingi’s company, his pride was making him press back all sorts of negative feelings in the name of his own stupidity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course Hongjoong wouldn’t want to sleep in their room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You see, one day you will get tired of this.” Seonghwa started to argue, just so they could hold a conversation for longer. Today the mark on Seonghwa’s neck wasn’t burning. It was only his body that was stiffen and his mind-  fucked because of Mingi and his stupid complainings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something clicked in Hongjoong and within seconds he was standing right in front of Seonghwa, the difference in their heights not bothering him at all, as he was tilted his head up, so he could seem on the same level with the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what I’m actually tired of?” Hongjoong's voice was even, but his eyes were betraying him as it was clear that emotions were twirling there.           “I’m tired of <em>you</em>. I’m tired of trying to understand you, to be at least a reasonable person for you… someone who can reach out to you, and I’m tired only after couple of weeks.” Hongjoong’s hands were shaking while his eyes lowered from Seonghwa’s face and checked upon the other bare chest. Seonghwa was breathing unevenly and he felt happy that at least he could bring anger of the other. Hongjoong felt like a shit for second day in a roll and he was fed up of that. He was not trained to be fearless in battles, while protecting every piece of his land, only to waste himself for a coward who was not seeing no more than his own nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong had decided already - Seonghwa was a prick and he was not going to shy away and tell him what he thought of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I made an effort and you… you made it clear there was no point in trying. So ... yeah, I’m not going back to that damn room of yours.” He said.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.”  Seonghwa replied, agreeing coldly despite the fire that started up in his chest and how much his tongue wanted to roll more words and explain. He also ignored the pang of his heart and the fact that he felt like Hongjoong just kicked his ego. But that crushed confidence of his was bleeding a little bit after every comment and he could take so much more bullshit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what? I’m sick and tired of all the shits that's been spoken behind my back. And you…”  Seonghwa started in the wrong way, glaring at Hongjoong as if he actually hated him.          “.....you probably think that the Parks had lied to you. You made it clear about what you want and you wanna take it. The fights…”  He sucked another breath, but it just couldn’t calm him down.        “.....damn you are naive. Did you trust every bullshit that Dara told you about me, answer me that..”  At the last words, Seonghwa was already yelling at him.        “Did she promise you a strong mate who will fight alongside you despite the fact that he was fucking absent for years. Are you naive, stupid? Didn’t you figure out that I don’t wanna fight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The waves of distress coming out of Seonghwa, the anger which accompanied it,  was vibrating through Hongjoong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I was promised was a mate.”  Hongjoong yelled back.         “I don’t care whether you want to fight or not. I can fight for both of us.” He meant each word that left his lips.       “What I needed and agreed on with your family was a status.”  What didn’t he expect was what followed after that - he was not prepared for all that overwhelmed him with just one look Seonghwa was carelessly throwing at him, or the feelings that shook Hongjoong whenever they touched - no, he did not know it was going to be that intense. And it troubled him how neither he or Seonghwa were ready for it. It troubled him that if he really thought about it, he was not going to mind to just accept all of that. In his mind Hongjoong was there, reaching out to Seonghwa, but the distrust which he could see in the other’s eyes was always there. And most of all…. those words… <em>there was somebody else</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong did not expect to be that shaken by such thing. He had never thought about any of the things that he was experiencing even now when he was standing in front of his mate, who was once again completely oblivious what his naked form caused Hongjoong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And all of that … made Hongjoong angry, because he was so damn distracted from his main purpose - for days he had been dwelled into himself, his problem with Seonghwa and either how to resolve it or just let it be. Hongjoong was not doing anything to prepare any of them for what awaited them and that was going to be an ugly fight when Seonghwa clearly didn’t wanna fight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think… this bond would actually mean this much to me.”  Hongjoong confessed angrily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“<em>Then</em>….”  Seonghwa cut him off, breathing out evenly. His stare dropped to the ground and he let Hongjoong win this time. He wasn’t guilty, Seonghwa wanted to stick that into his thick head and stop whining like a bitch. No, he was done with bringing shame not only to his family, but to this person here, who had high expectations of their bond and Seonghwa couldn’t stop showing him the worse sides of bonding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s fight. If we are mated to be on the arena and you….” His jaw still clenched hard and he waited for a moment before continuing his speech.          “.......you can stay here as much as you want. In fact, you can sleep in everyone’s room if you like.” Seonghwa said and turned around, letting the anxiety slip in through his skin and wrap around him once again. <em>This wasn’t right,</em> Seonghwa knew that, but to apologize was sometimes harder than messing up.            “But I want you to know one thing…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What now? That you gonna fuck everyone as another rule of yours?”  The bitterness could not be covered even by Hongjoong’s sarcasm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a coward.”  Seonghwa hissed, turning to shoot Hongjoong a glare. And then things could get better easily, if Seonghwa just turned around and left the room at the right time…. things could get better, time could heal bullshit and all sorts of feelings. But Seonghwa was a stubborn asshole whose lack of attention became a burden.              “Scratch the rules, you can’t screw anyone while you are in my house.” He said finally.<br/></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hongjoong was taken aback from the other’s words. Not because he cared much for the rules or anything, but for the first time Seonghwa showed him possessiveness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The same goes for you then.” Hongjoong hurried to seal the deal, not daring even to blink while the other was staring at him like was throwing a challenge at him. And taking the bait was the easiest thing that Hongjoong had done for the last couple of days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then next time when I please myself, you shouldn’t stay in someone else’s room.”  Seonghwa said and turned around, slamming the door in front of Hongjoong’s face, right before he could even process the words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>************</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What are your suspicions about Seonghwa's past? <br/>We bring some pieces of it out, we hope that it's not very confusing though xD<br/>Enjoy and have fun with this developing chapter here hahah<br/>We do enjoy making Seonghwa and Hongjoong die inside a little bit everyday xD</p><p>Well well, thanks for the comments once again and drop some more please! We love to see what you think of this fic &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Favor.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 5</p><p> </p><p>At some point Hongjoong made it to the basement. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited for finally to be allowed to go there. Once he stepped into the premises he wondered why they even called it a basement, when it was anything but. </p><p>The space was large and spacious. There was even a fighting ring at the middle of it. If he could see his own eyes, he was sure he’d see stars in them. It was like the air was lighter in there. He felt at ease. It was his thing, his space, his ground. Even if he had never stepped a foot in there before. He knew that what overtook him was the nostalgia to the passed days when he had spent day and night in the considerably smaller salon which they were using in his clan. As with each passing year his people were losing land after land, they could not afford to have expensive mansions. His clan was living plain - their territories allowed them to have one building which all of them used for trainings. </p><p>So when he stepped down in the ‘basement’ and found a whole floor which was cleared with the only purpose to give enough space for at least couple of wolves to spar and even run around it - it was understandable why Hongjoong was so spellbound. He was not repulsed by the thought how differently the Parks were leading their lives and trainings, it only motivated him to use the advantages that they could provide. It was clear they had a personal trainer who apparently was assigned to only one couple. And in their particular case - their trainer was Eden. </p><p>Eden - the person who had kept Seonghwa away from Hongjoong for days, who did not allow Hongjoong to join his mate and train with him. Eden was hiding Seonghwa from him and it still confused Hongjoong what was the reason behind that.</p><p>Yet that thought was quickly erased from Hongjoong’s mind when he noticed how his mate’s wolf form was fiercely attacking another wolf - black against brown. It was not only a game for the black wolf - Seonghwa was on for a kill and that shocked Hongjoong.</p><p>A stern shout of Seonghwa’s name halted the black wolf from biting the brown one’s neck. <em>You go for the neck only when you really wanted to cause damage,</em> everyone knew that. And Hongjoong could not even think for one reason why Seonghwa would want to damage his own keeper Yunho. Not that he knew the guy too well but whatever interaction he had with him so far, Hongjoong always had seen the guy smiling or kind. </p><p>Seonghwa had stop his tries of ripping the other’s skin at the third call of his name. Even though Hongjoong was allowed to observe the fight, he was still not allowed to participate. His eyes were not missing even one move of his mate and he silently tried to convince himself that the only purpose of that was to learn Seonghwa’s style, to examine it, to come with a way how he could accommodate his own style to Seonghwa’s one - so they could really amplify their skills and in the end ... to complete each other. </p><p>Hongjoong’s fingers twitched by the desire to just shift and get onto the ring. To personally test his mate and his abilities. From the presentation he had for his own mate - he did not really expect much from Seonghwa, yet the fierceness which he saw satisfied him, so he could not comprehend why Seonghwa had refused and stood against the idea of joining the fights. </p><p>Seonghwa was <em>magnificent</em>. </p><p>He was not only fierce, he was fast, elegant, he was rough and in the same time so damn primal. </p><p>A reminder of Seonghwa’s last words to him struck Hongjoong hard. Seonghwa had been jerking off in their room, probably on their bed… the thought was so damn dangerous and distracting that Hongjoong had even missed when the fighting duo had switched back to their human forms. </p><p>And Seonghwa had told him that next time… Hongjoong had to be there. That was an open invitation thrown just like that at Hongjoong’s face. </p><p>Hongjoong’s eyes scanned the sweated bodies of the two who were panting hard against each other, glaring at one another like they were silently exchanging some kind of conversation which only the two of them understood. </p><p>The flame of jealousy spurted inside of Hongjoong as if from nothing. He growled at them in clear warning that he wanted them separated <em>right this instant</em>. Seonghwa looked at him first, then Yunho followed and a second after Seonghwa pushed his beta on the chest, hard enough to make Yunho break into laughter and the two of them kept exchanging hits, while the last person who was unbothered by the bickering was already right at Hongjoong’s side. </p><p>“I am glad that you are here.”  Eden said, having his arms folded in front of his chest as his eyes studied Hongjoong’s face.         “I hope that you didn’t enjoy that sparing, because it only showed exactly why I keep your mate away from you.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”  For some reason Hongjoong could not stand the glare the other was giving him. He was the reason why he had to stay away from Seonghwa so damn long. Another growl followed. The fuck if Hongjoong was not going to show that man what he thought about him. </p><p>Eden seemed amused by that, at least his small smile gave out such expression.         “Calm down, <em>pup</em>, I’ve raised Seonghwa better than his dad.”  He wanted to show exactly how fond he was of Seonghwa despite Hongjoong’s warnings.           “And Seonghwa was repeating for a whole week that he doesn’t want you to see him that wild. We had a progress but…… I guess mating period changes the game and keeps his aggression high.” He spoke calmly, examining how Seonghwa was glaring at his own friend Yunho, who on the other hand did nothing but to annoy him more.          “So I guess you two are still fighting around like kids if he’s so…. stressed out.”</p><p>“The only fighting you have to concern for is the one on the ring.” Hongjoong reminded Eden exactly what for they needed him. Not to consult their<em> half-bond</em>.          “When can I join?” He asked the thing that he was most concerned about. </p><p>Eden turned to him, eyes worriedly focused on him. The man was frowning, but the concern was nearly slapping Hongjoong on the face as he went silent for a moment. </p><p>After that moment Eden had the reply that the other alpha needed to hear.         “<em>When you let him</em> ….”   Eden said hardly, then rolled his eyes.         “Listen, I can’t let him out on the arena like this. He will kill the one who tries touching you and then you can say goodbye to the matches and everything else. Didn’t you notice that Seonghwa needs <em>someone</em>?”</p><p>“Someone?” Hongjoong hissed the word as if it was the most humiliating thing that he’d heard through his life. And that was not exactly a lie. He was not only offended by that word, because for a second there, he saw the greener green and the darkest blues around himself, transporting him to the moment when he heard <em>that </em>from Seonghwa’s lips. The other thing that hit Hongjoong hard was the assumption that Eden had done. Once again Hongjoong was being degraded only because of his body build and appearance. </p><p>“Your relationship isn’t what the regular relationships looks like. Not judging here, it’s normal for arranged mates to freak out around each other one way or another.” Eden spoke, keeping the frown on his face.         “I didn’t want to offend you by telling you to perform your natural obligation, because that is…. that is disrespectful towards you and trust me… this family can’t have a better ally than you, Hongjoong. This is why you are not expected to pay attention on your mate’s hormones before he directly forces you into something, which Seonghwa…. will never do.”</p><p>“You want us to fuck, so we can fight on the Arena?”  Hongjoong was flabbergasted. </p><p>Eden gaped for a moment, recovering fast enough to clear his throat and reply.     “I wouldn’t use these words.”  He said quietly and then his eyes sparkled with something that Hongjoong couldn’t recognize.        “I am just warning you to …. talk with Seonghwa. I am not the person who will explain <em>that</em>. But we have less than a week and Seonghwa is more of a killer than a fighter now and I won’t allow him to jump on any arena in that state. Thank you for the understanding.”</p><p>If Hongjoong was feeling humiliated before, now he felt like the ground could just swallow him from the embarrassment that he had to go through. He stood there speechless and Eden probably understood it because he bailed from whatever Hongjoong’s mind was trying to come up with in order to restore his pride in front of the other. Unfortunately, Eden did not give him the chance to do it. One look at his mate though turned the tables for Hongjoong - the intense look that he had thrown him finished him and with the crumbled pieces of dignity-  Hongjoong turned on his heels and quickly marched away to the safety of his brother’s room. </p><p> </p><p>****************</p><p>For everyone’s surprise, that night was a party night, like Chan called it while announcing that he wanted his closest people and their closest ones to gather up after dinner and just…. </p><p>Have fun?</p><p>Seonghwa had no idea what was expected of him. What his brother wanted to accomplish with such foolish idea, but he figured out that Yunho, that traitor, shared <em>some </em>information with Seonghwa's brother and suddenly Chan turned into a fucking Cupid. It was easy for him to show off with his perfect relationship with Jia and act touchy and possessive over her, while Seonghwa had to sit six hundred feet away from Hongjoong, who was occupied with Mingi and of course San. </p><p>Seonghwa picked himself a nice outfit, considering his dark mood, he wore all black, all leather, even his fucking frown was probably black and next to him, Yunho looked like a happy rainbow, sharing jokes with Chan. Jia was trying to be polite and nice as always, speaking to Hongjoong as if she needed a stupid dinner to talk to someone who literally lived in the house. </p><p>Seonghwa pulled the collar of his shirt nervously, biting down so many negative comments that he went mute after the first ten minutes after the <em>fun </em>had started. </p><p>It was a useless meeting in the middle of the night, if someone had to ask Seonghwa, whose eyes couldn’t drop down from his mate. </p><p>Hongjoong was a nice match to himself - wearing a black vest, too loosen, too exposing, too cropped. Seonghwa had missed to see him walking into the dining hall, so he could only guess what Hongjoong had put on his nice legs….</p><p>“And do you remember that hill when you chased after us when we were little?” Yunho somehow managed to break the trail of thoughts that spinned in Seonghwa’s head and he blowed down air to his collar, trying to chase the heat away. The story that Yunho was telling was embarrassing and nobody wanted to hear it, another negative comment was about to leave Seonghwa’s lips but he only bit it down as well and started playing with his piercing. A nice thing to do when no one was paying attention to him. </p><p>Seonhgwa’s next action was to finish off two shots of old scotch and frown to the taste of it. </p><p>“This tastes like shit.”</p><p>Yunho frowned.         “Yes, thanks for ruining my story.”</p><p>Seonghwa snorted.         “Your story is shit.”</p><p>“You are shit.”</p><p>“Guys, come on.” Chan raised his voice up and didn’t look bothered at all. But when his brother looked at him, Chan’s face was showing nothing but clear disappointment. Of course Chan would blame him for ruining the fun. </p><p>“It's fine, let them be.” Jia said with a smile and turned to face Hongjoong again.           “You can share something from your childhood then. Something nice.”</p><p>Hongjoong was not from the quiet ones when it came to sharing useless things. </p><p>“Once we tried to fly like Superman.” He snickered.     “In our defense, we were like 10 years old.” He shrugged at the painful memory of broken right arm from his side and a sulking San who had been all covered in bandages and restricted from any kind of movement for couple of weeks. He almost had ruined himself with that fall. </p><p>“I don’t even want to remember that.” San cringed by his side.      “I still hate heights.”  </p><p>“This is so sweet.”  Jia said and her pretty face didn’t look so tired out of a sudden. </p><p>Seonghwa had shared only couple of moments with her during his stay at the mansion and Jia was considered as someone who was still shaking from a loss. To lose a heir at the Arena was devastating, but the one carrying the baby was living all of that pain tons of times worse than the rest of the clan. So to see her smile now made Seonghwa feel a bit better. At least she was actually having fun. </p><p>“Well, it's good to be one age with everyone that you are close to.”  Chan said and smiled at the Kims.        “I had to take care of all the kids, including my brother and Yunho. And Yunho was very….”</p><p>“Very brave and nice, thank you. I never failed to lose tracks of Seonghwa while he was sniffing the grass on the hill whenever we walked out.”  Yunho said happily, recalling a stupid moment, which caused him the glare that Seonghwa shared with him. </p><p>“You actually suck at taking care of me.” He said.</p><p>“Not true.”   Yunho argued.    “San can back me up, this is a hard job for children. To take care of other children.”</p><p>“Especially when the one you try to take care of is completely suicidal.” San nodded and the two keepers shared a knowing look, silently agreeing to back each other up no matter what.</p><p>“Not my fault you’re slow and can’t keep up.” Hongjoong smiled and pinched San’s ribs. He could feel the intense glare that Seonghwa was throwing at him, but he played the blind eye and continued.       “Of course, I can’t keep a grudge on you when you’re so damn cute with that dimple of yours…”  He laughed shamelessly.</p><p>“Are you trying to get me killed or what?”  San hissed right into his face. Everyone in the room was noticing the ignore that the newly mated ones were giving each other, not to mention the heated glares from Seonghwa’s side. And now Hongjoong was provoking him. In front of everyone. </p><p>“Smile or I’ll kill you.”  Hongjoong pressed through gritted teeth when he leaned to murmur into his keeper’s ear. He wanted to pay back to Seonghwa for the embarrassment he had to experience from his trainer Eden, even if he was not even aware. That didn’t matter. Hongjoong’s pride was hurt and he had to do something to rebuild it back. </p><p>“San is actually the cutest.”  Mingi said out of the blue, finally looking up from his phone that he was digging in for good 30 minutes.          “Especially when he whines and thinks that he’s so tough.”  He shrunk away just in case San decided to hit him like he usually loved to do.</p><p>“And that’s why you’re my brother.”  Hongjoong hugged Mingi around his shoulders and pulled him towards himself. The action shocked the younger for a second but he composed himself quickly and tried to shake the other’s touch. </p><p>Apparently neither his brother or keeper wanted to back Hongjoong up in his agenda tonight. </p><p>“So what do you guys actually do for fun here?” Hongjoong directed his question towards Chan and Jia, though he glanced at Seonghwa who’s intense glare had changed to something more like angry stare.      “Besides jumping from cliffs.” He had to be actually blind not to notice how silent and closed off Seonghwa had been. Only opening his mouth if something was directed at him from Yunho. And Hongjoong wanted to change that, wanted to include him in, even though that the praise probably was going to be anger from the other’s side. It was better than the silent treatment that they had tortured themselves into. After the situation in the basement ground, Hongjoong had the time to think over Eden’s words. He had not come to terms with what the other suggested but it made him want to be on the right track in strengthening their bond. </p><p><em>What a rollercoaster of emotions it was to mate to someone, </em>Hongjoong thought. </p><p>“We play golf.” Chan said as if it was the best thing to do and Mingi actually stared at him dumbly. </p><p>“Golf, really”  The alpha started to laugh, but somehow that conversation was distant, at least for Seonghwa who seemed to only pay attention to whatever Hongjoong was saying and <em>he said a lot</em>. </p><p>Starting off with comments about his cute beta, his brother, he was touching both of them, while in the same time stealing glances of Seonghwa, who was just trying to stay calm and have his drink. But damn, his instincts were just kicking him in the gut to mess into the conversation and be a part of that useless story telling. </p><p>Seonghwa ended up being silent again, just staring at Hongjoong…. when something inside of his stomach turned badly. He felt how his skin shivered and his hairs stood up by the feeling. All of a sudden, Seonghwa couldn’t hear what Chan and Mingi were saying, or what Jia was mumbling in the background. His vision got blurred for a moment and the warmness that he felt at the gym came back with force, making him shudder visibly. </p><p>“You okay, dude?”  Yunho put a hand on his shoulder, but Seonghwa wished that he could just go out and…</p><p>“I’m going out to stone myself.”  He said, standing up from the table as he caught the eyes of everyone with the action. Seonghwa pulled his metal box of cigarettes and shook it in his hand, not giving anyone further explanation. </p><p>And then his eyes laid on Hongjoong and the heavy feeling became nearly unbearable. </p><p>Seonghwa was just going to move his eyes from his mate, when his lips parted and a question slipped through.          “Do you wanna join me outside?”</p><p>Hongjoong exhaled and did not think twice before standing up and getting closer to Seonghwa. Somehow he knew that the other wanted him to be close, to be with him, to comfort or please him or whatever, and that call could not be ignored by Hongjoong. Apparently in the morning they settled the things between them and were okay, at least for now. </p><p>They went out outside in the garden which Hongjoong actually liked to relax into. There were different flowers and bushes, forming shapes and all - exactly how you’d imagine a rich family’s house who usually hid some dark secrets which only revealed to the viewers in the end of the movie. He ignored his sarcastic thoughts, and moved through the pathway which lead to a gazebo which was even enlighten by different coloured lights - probably an act of romance from Chan towards Jia at some point.</p><p>“So, what’s up?” Came the most awkward question one could direct at his mate. Hongjoong once again cringed from his own discomfort. </p><p>Seonghwa moved to the wooden benches that surrounded a nice table, one made of white slean stone, having elegant form and nice decorated stories at the top side of it. There were wolves engraved into the stone, a full moon above them and it was all happening in a circle. </p><p>“I just felt like asking you out.”  Seonghwa said ironically, not really thinking about meaning behind that invitation. He just felt like bursting out of his own skin and he felt like Hongjoong could at least…. make him company. He took his leather jacket off and rested it on the table, picking a weed wrap from the metal box and lightened it up silently, dragging hard enough to fill his lungs with smoke and cough at the sudden invade. </p><p>“May I?” Hongjoong sat down beside Seonghwa, so close that their shoulders were slightly touching, while their tights were pressed against one another. He reached out and took the cigarette from the other’s grip. He took a deep drag and puffed the smoke out like a pro.   “It’s strong.” He waved the cigarette in front of himself before taking another drag from it, while observing Seonghwa from the corner of his eye.        “Here.” Hongjoong passed it to the other after he smoked out. </p><p>Seonghwa had no idea that Hongjoong actually smoked. The only times that he himself openly did that, Hongjoong wasn’t joining him, even flinched at the smoke that he blew at his face on their first meeting. So it was kind of weird to watch him get stoned and actually share one thing that Seonghwa liked. No matter how stupid that sounded. </p><p>“Tell me the worse that you have done.”  Seonghwa suddenly said, wonder filling his eyes as he pulled from the weed and kept the smoke in for seconds. Hongjoong couldn’t grasp what he asked, so he blew out the smoke and continued.         “I mean in general. Embarrassing stuff. Because you seem pretty strict and composed. Like your life is drawn down on a paper and you just follow lines. There must be a crack somewhere on the way.”</p><p>For some reason a random thought crossed Hongjoong’s mind - this was the first time they were actually civil with each other and not shooting comments to outwin one another. At least for now, and even if it was awkward and strange, it felt right. </p><p>“Running away from your basement because Eden suggested something out of the line?” Hongjoong said and raised an eyebrow and laughed at himself. Why the hell was he exposing this to Seonghwa? There was no need of him knowing that.            “You for once made correct observation. I did not exactly have the kind of life that you had.”  His laugh was long ceased instead a serious line crossed his forehead.    “You see… we really had to protect whatever we possessed. There are no pups and mature wolves where I come from - everyone has to fight for what he wants. So… my embarrassing memories are related to not winning first place in a competition or not catching an intruder first… not killing him first. Stuff like that.”  Hongjoong was getting in deep waters here and he knew it, but he wanted to share some personal things with his mate.       “That does not sound like fun to you, right?”  He asked and tilted his head aside so he can stare into Seonghwa’s pretty face directly. </p><p>“Suddenly my pool experiences sound like a lot of fun.”  Seonghwa tried to kill the cold atmosphere that Hongjoong’s words brought between them. He wasn’t stupid to think that a guy coming from the Kim clan was going to swing his ass at parties and pay no attention to the important matters. But what he just said raised another emotion in Seonghwa and he didn’t think twice before he caught Hongjoong’s right hand and brought it to his lips. The other was brave, which was something that not everyone could brag about with.          “<em>My</em> little killer alpha. I should shake under your gaze.”  Seonghwa said ironically.          “If you were just a little taller.”</p><p>This small gesture of affection struck Hongjoong to the core. He didn’t even acknowledge the ironic comment the other made at first. He just eyed his mate as if he was seeing him for the first time. </p><p>“I can always make you … how did you say it? <em>Shake under my gaze</em>.” He composed himself and smirked at the other, but did not deny his desire to squeeze Seonghwa’s hand which was still keeping his own as a hostage. Hongjoong had no plan of releasing himself from that grip. </p><p>“Sure.” Seonghwa raised an eyebrow mockingly, reminding himself of something else that caught his attention earlier. He dropped Hongjoong’s hand and reached aside where the next piece of the circling bench was starting and just casually pulled it up, looking at the remaining hidden alcohol bottles that he and Yunho hid here while being wasted on the mating ceremony that Seonghwa barely had any memories of. He picked whiskey and closed the top of the bench again, turning towards Hongjoong. </p><p>“So what did Eden say to make you leave earlier? Must be very disturbing, knowing him well. He can be weird sometimes.”  Seonghwa said, picking the weed with his free hand and dragged hard, blowing the smoke after a moment so he could busy his mouth with the whiskey. </p><p>Hongjoong pressed his lips tight. No way in hell he was going to admit what Eden had told him. So he just shrugged.         “Forget it.”  Once again he took the initiative and took the bottle from Seonghwa’s hands before it was even offered to him. He took a gulp and left the bottle on the ground.      “You want to waste yourself tonight?”  </p><p>“I’m trying to dull whatever the fuck I feel all day. I don’t wanna cause another fight.”  Seonghwa replied and tilted his head, taking a good look over Hongjoong’s face. For a second there, he thought that the other looked…. better with that dim light that illuminated his face and made his eyes sparkle. It reminded Seonghwa of funfair, which was ridiculous, but he recalled a moment where he and Yunho had fun downtown, after a long shift around the pool. They visited a funfair and of course Seonghwa was nowhere near close to asking Wooyoung out because that would be too intimate. </p><p>He wondered if he just missed a chance or saved that experience for Hongjoong. </p><p>“Do you like funfairs?”  Seonghwa asked curiously, eyes glued on the other’s full lips that surrounded the weed cigar for a moment and then his hand pulled it away so he could free his mouth and talk. </p><p>And damn, to watch Hongjoong blow smoke right at his face was very exciting. </p><p>“Aren’t you too old for that?”  Hongjoong snickered at the other’s random question.   “When I was a kid I enjoyed them, though.”    </p><p>Another random realization from Hongjoong’s side was that - this should have been their first conversation, since they were actually trying to get to know each other, and not just bickering senseless. A pang of guilt hit him. </p><p>“I can take you to a place where you will be proved differently.”  Seonghwa shot him a wink, questioning his flirting right now, because he knew himself and he definitely knew when and how to start an act towards someone. And to consider Hongjoong as a prey was kind of very disturbing. Several alarms rang at once and Seonghwa bit his bottom lip, trying to keep back whatever wanted to show on the surface. His body was faster, moving slightly closer to Hongjoong as their thighs pressed harder in the process. The minimal friction caused enough damage and Seonghwa felt intoxicated with the scent that overwhelmed him suddenly. </p><p>It was too strong and convincing, calming and in the same time exciting. </p><p>And he wasn’t that stupid to keep ignoring it. </p><p>“What happens if I… ask you for a favor?”  Seonghwa asked, picking the weed cigar only to drop it down and crush it so they could be free from it and as he looked at his mate, the fire only increased. </p><p>“It depends on the kind of favor.” Hongjoong was not unaffected from the other’s actions. His breath slightly hitched when the other pressed himself slightly closer to him. His eyes slid down from Seonghwa’s eyes to his lips. He could guess what the other was going to either imply or just say it out loud, but the game that they started playing was both naive and exciting. Hongjoong moved couple of inches closer to Seonghwa’s face.      “What is it?”  </p><p>“How direct I can be?”  Seonghwa replied, leaning in as well until their noses touched and the small act only pushed him to keep going. Seonghwa brushed their noses again before moving to Hongjoong’s cheek and paused, taking in from his strong scent. </p><p>The shiver which ran across Hongjoong’s spine only encouraged him.     “As your mate I can accept every request that you have.”  <em>Teasing</em>, that was what they were doing. Edging each other to take step after step until they met in the middle. And that was the right pace.       “Ask for your favour.” </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes screwed but it went unnoticed by Hongjoong, since he was already leaning towards his neck, sucking in a deep breath when he touched the mark. One touch got followed by another and a moment later Seonghwa was already nibbling at the spot, willing to rip the skin open and leave a reminder to Hongjoong. </p><p>“Sleep in our room.”  He asked, letting his piercing touch the irritated spot and cool it down. </p><p>“Do you intend to sleep?” Hongjoong smirked and pushed the other’s chest only so he could take Seonghwa’s face into his hands. It felt right, this really felt right being that close and spending time together but the prospect of more was just too alluring. So without further thinking or reasoning, Hongjoong closed the small gap between them and pressed their lips together. The kiss was not fierce or abusive. They already had tasted that. Now he wanted to taste something else. He bit lightly Seonghwa’s bottom lip, in a teasing manner, the other’s hands were already on his waist, trying to bring him closer, as if they were not placed tightly against one another. Hongjoong denied the other’s attempt to deepen the kiss. He was keeping the control and determined the pace which was slow to the point of innocent, lips only brushing and teeth randomly biting. </p><p>Seonghwa’s mind was occupied with how glossy Hongjoong’s lips looked after he parted them from his own and the urge to whine for more was tempting for a moment. But his stronger side took over quickly and he growled quietly, moving his hands lower until he gripped Hongjoong’s firm butt and pulled him on his lap. And then it got hard for him to cope as Hongjoong seated himself nicely, his legs pressing against his own thighs, his small hands making testing rounds over his chest and Seonghwa needed so much to pull his shirt off and let Hongjoong explore. </p><p>“You can touch me.”  Seonghwa stated, as if Hongjoong needed invitation in the first place. And as the other’s hands stilled right after he pulled his shirt off, Seonghwa frowned.            “Is that too fast?”</p><p>Hongjoong had stopped himself only so he can appreciate the other’s naked chest. Not that he was seeing it for the first time since Seonghwa was showing off at every given chance. But somehow this time it was different as both of them were equal participants of the deed. Hongjoong was at loss of words though. He was overwhelmed with need for his mate. To both encourage him to continue or to just take his offer and finally let himself acquainted with the other’s body. </p><p>The small hands of Hongjoong started their journey from  Seonghwa’s neck where a gentle stroke was left to his mark. He was struck with possessiveness when Seongwha’s eyes closed for a second while his fingers were patting the spot, and once he moved his hands over the other’s collarbones and pectorals, he leaned over and started leaving small pecks over where his hands already had passed onto. </p><p>“You ….” Hongjoong couldn’t even stop himself from admitting it.   “are so beautiful.” </p><p>The praise came welcomed for the one who was already urgent to feel more. Seonghwa felt as if Hongjoong was talking directly to his soul, petting it with words that he wasn’t allowing himself to trust when they were said by random people in his past. Similar praises were getting ignored by Seonghwa because they weren’t special. But whatever left Hongjoong’s mouth was holding a different meaning. He was willing to trust him, to let himself feel and as his stomach clenched painfully, Seonghwa’s eyes opened so he could look at his mate. Hongjoong was kissing him, he realized just now. These gentle and exploring kisses were making him feel like he was on the edge of bursting, flipping Hongjoong over that table and claim him on another different way. </p><p>Seonghwa closed his eyes again. Was that the most rational decision that he could take? </p><p>“You look better.”  The cheap try to respond made Seonghwa cringe. He was weak in talking, that wasn’t a secret to anybody who knew him, but it didn’t matter what he was going to say, because Hongjoong was going to understand. And with that on mind, Seonghwa’s hands gripped the other’s ass so hard that he felt sorry for hurting him in the first place.           “But I think I won’t handle teasing well… right now.”</p><p>Hongjoong ignored Seonghwa’s words and just continued with his kisses. And as if to show him that he had no intention of changing anything from the current pace they were on, he started grinding against  Seonghwa’s more than obvious hard-on. </p><p>“You can take it.” Hongjoong was once again at his neck, but he had abandoning the teasing kisses and instead started licking and biting it. He purposely ignored the mark that he had left on  Seonghwa’s skin. He bit an ear lobe.      “Don’t ruin the moment and just… go with the flow.”  </p><p>“My flow is showing me a picture …” Seonghwa hummed quietly, letting Hongjoong have his own fun while he approached him from a different angle, using his two years of practice to sneak his hands under the hem of Hongjoong’s jeans, just to feel his bare skin. The realization that he dared to touch Hongjoong in such private way for the first time was not making him feel awkward. Not when that burning passion was making him sweat all over again and that heat was killing him.           “of how I’m ........I wanna jerk you off, if you let me.”</p><p>Hongjoong just <em>hmm</em>-ed at the other, not denying nor accepting the offer. Instead his hands went down to the front of Seonghwa’s pants.         “I’m not exhibitionist like you.”  A small smile was on his lips when he rubbed his hand over the clothed shaft.</p><p>“But nobody is gonna dare follow us here.”  Seonghwa replied, refusing to think that Hongjoong was going to reject him now when his freaking hand was making small circles around Seonghwa's crotch and the lack of friction was starting to freak him out.            “I promise, nothing more is gonna happen.”</p><p>And just like that Hongjoong’s desire to continue his game with Seonghwa flew away through the window. He really did not lie when he said he could not reject anything Seonghwa asked of him. Hongjoong probably could twist his way out but not directly deny the other. </p><p>“Okay.” Hongjoong unzipped the leather pants and sneaked his hand into Seonghwa’s briefs. He took his cock in his hand and started stroking it again with a slow pace. Seonghwa hissed at the treatment, but said nothing else, leaving Hongjoong to do as he wished. And what he wanted was to bring pleasure to his mate, but not like someone who was going to remain a fade memory in his mind. He wanted Seonghwa to know that he was the one that made him ask him to do it.      “Seonghwa, open your eyes.”   Probably his mate did not even realize that he had closed them in the first place because his body tensed all of a sudden, but that only made Hongjoong quicken the pace of his strokes. One look was enough for Hongjoong to lose a piece of his mind and that made him attack Seonghwa like a hungry animal. He forced a dirty kiss onto Seonghwa’s lips, erasing all remains of the previous innocence and sweetness that he’d initiated. A groan left Seonghwa’s lips and that made something in Hongjoong click, as if it was a call and he had to answer. He fiercely pulled Seonghwa’s head aside and bit his teeth onto the spot of his mark, re-marking what was his own. </p><p>“Fuck.” Seonghwa quietly cursed, his head falling back by the satisfaction that shook his body. When Hongjoong started marking him again, he felt something that he couldn’t remember during their first night together. Probably the alcohol and the fact that he was deadly stoned erased more of what he wanted to remember. By the next morning, Seonghwa didn’t even want to think about it. He hated it even. And to feel Hongjoong’s canines sink into his skin in such intimate way, was enough of a reminder that he was actually owned. </p><p>Seonghwa got distracted by the bite, but Hongjoong’s hand didn’t stop moving, fucking his mind enough to leave it blank for everything else but himself. Honestly, Seonghwa didn’t give a damn if someone was going to hear him at this point. The signs of pleasure were giving Hongjoong the confidence to go wild and his possessiveness showed up on the surface. The hand moved fast and Seonghwa wanted to stop him and tell him to pause for a moment, but he couldn’t talk anymore as only fucked up groans were leaving his mouth one after another. And then the groans turned into growls, Seonghwa’s own hands were making harsh trails under Hongjoong’s vest, scratching his skin whenever the other picked up his pace or did anything in general. The heat was impossible for a moment and Seonghwa felt like the air outside wasn’t enough. </p><p>He was panting, sweating, trembling under the touch of Hongjoong and his claws dig into Hongjoong’s skin in the moment when the last strokes brought him over the edge and he cursed under his nose, letting the other bite him hard as he came into his hand, his mind getting blank and empty. The feeling was at least hundred times better than anything that Seonghwa could initiate by himself, the tension was finally gone along with the air in his lungs and when Hongjoong pulled away from his neck and looked him in the eyes, Seonghwa snapped.</p><p>He caught  Hongjoong's lips into a passionate kiss, shoving his tongue into his mouth, tasting his own blood over Hongjoong’s lips.</p><p>Hongjoong’s head was dizzy by the intense kiss that Seonghwa graced him with. So he snuggled against the other and just whispered into his skin. </p><p>“I want to come back to our room.” </p><p>The sound of that was distant, as if Hongjoong was talking into a tunnel. But the request was able to reach Seonghwa fast enough so he could nod his head and leave another short kiss against his lips before he smiled absently against them. </p><p>“You don’t need to say it. Just come.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First smut here xD <br/>It's a little bit emotional smut, but those two can't just be animals okay xDD<br/>We hope that you liked this chapter as well ! <br/>Comments are welcome you know XDDD</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Primitive.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>Chapter 6</strong>
</p><p>Primitive. </p><p>There were emotions that Seonghwa couldn’t explain. But he knew that the easiest way to screw yourself over is to trust your instincts. Exactly what he did the previous night while being stoned and tipsy. </p><p>He didn’t blame drugs or alcohol, he blamed himself. He didn’t blame Hongjoong for touching him, either. He blamed his primitive feelings that made him act like a perverted teen, even though he wanted to ignore the need to fuck whatever crossed his eyesight and just be…. normal.</p><p>He touched the dry blood on his neck, recalling when Hongjoong lost himself in the moment and bit him. Seonghwa was supposed to think. Think better…. but every time that he tried, he was getting lost in his own head. In the end, it all came down to one conclusion. </p><p>It was easy. Hongjoong didn’t just want him as an ally. He was okay with having him as a man. He was willing to accept his fucked up fate and live with his own decisions. Which in his case was to have a mate that was a stranger to him. He didn’t trust Seonghwa, but who could blame him? </p><p>All that Seonghwa did for Hongjoong was to keep him three feet apart, fight him, talk about feelings that still tore his heart apart. As if Seonghwa was desperately trying to keep that one sided love of his alive, no matter that he was sane enough to see where that was going to end. </p><p>In the end… he wasn’t just hurting because Wooyoung didn’t care of his absence, Seonghwa hurt himself and Hongjoong as well. </p><p>He thought that Hongjoong, as alpha, is strong to bear the burden, to carry Seonghwa’s shit on his shoulders and in return to get nothing but a back up partner on the arena. </p><p>It was easy. It was what they signed up for. It sounded and looked easy. </p><p>But it felt different. </p><p>Hongjoong wasn’t alone in the mansion. He had his brother Mingi and San. They would attack Seonghwa with no doubt, if he ever tried to hurt Hongjoong. They were loyal to the alpha, because they were his family. But Hongjoong <em>wasn’t scared</em>.</p><p>Seonghwa was just the prick who refused to even give him a chance to live a peaceful life in that house. He was giving Hongjoong just as much as he wanted to take from him. And last night…. last night Hongjoong  gave him something without asking for anything in return. He pleased his mate and claimed him one more time. Mark on top of the mark. </p><p>As if Hongjoong wanted to calm his hurting pride, he gave Seonghwa a lesson. <em>A reminder</em>. </p><p>That no matter how hard Seonghwa tried to deny him, push him away and disrespect him…. Seonghwa needed him like he needed air.</p><p>Hongjoong wasn’t just strong, he was clever and determined. He wasn’t just a perfect ally, he was perfect alpha. Beautiful, witty, possessive…. </p><p>Seonghwa was looking at him for long while being sucked in his thoughts. His eyes stared at long eyelashes, spread on soft cheeks as he had his eyes shut. Hongjoong’s perfect nose was exhaling and inhaling calmly, evenly. His brows were furrowed like he was having a disturbing dream and his red hair was spread everywhere, messy and fresh. His strong scent was playing games with Seonghwa’s cold heart and he moved just a bit closer so he could drown in that scent. Roses and rain. Hongjoong smelled like spring, fresh and overwhelming. </p><p>There was a weird urge to touch his face, but Seonghwa just ignored it. The part of him that was getting stronger demanded that closeness. The alpha within him <em>wanted</em> to show his mate that he was there to protect his sleep. </p><p>And Seonghwa, he wanted to laugh in despair. </p><p>How could he be this greedy? How could he explain to the world that he just simply wanted to love. His mate wasn’t guilty that his heart got stolen by someone previously. Maybe if Seonghwa had never left this house, he would never feel anything. </p><p>There could be so many turns of his story, but it was a bit too late to desire something that he couldn’t have anymore. </p><p>Seonghwa reached out and touched the outline of Hongjoong’s sharp cheekbone. The other’s brows furrowed and he hummed in his sleep, not bothered by Seonghwa’s touch. He moved his fingers lower, touching the exposed mark on the other’s neck. </p><p>Flashbacks of how he was intensively making out with Hongjoong last night flashed in his head and he felt how heat spread all over him. Their lips matched so good, like key and a lock, teeth biting and their tongues playing, experimenting. The small fingers of the other alpha stroking Seonghwa’s cock hard and fast, making him feel satisfied and worked up. Damn, Seonghwa wanted to give Hongjoong the same feeling, but that would make him fucking cruel. </p><p>Could he claim the body of that boy, even when his heart belonged to another? Could he be torn between two people, lusting both of them? And was it the alpha part of him that wanted Hongjoong this morning, or he just wished to feel something again? </p><p>Seonghwa pushed the covers, watching how the action got Hongjoong shiver, his smaller body trying to find heat from somewhere else, but he didn’t let him. One hand pulled Hongjoong’s right arm above his head and held it in a trap there as he hovered over the sleeping alpha and started his attack slowly. </p><p>Seonghwa started with a testing lick over Hongjoong’s jaw, pushed his face to the side and tasted the hot skin on the other’s neck, slowly, gently, but in the same time hard enough to shake Hongjoong from his sleep. Seonghwa didn’t stop there, pushing his thigh between Hongjoong’s legs, using enough force to make friction. He heard a quiet sigh, felt the other struggling, but spread kisses along Hongjoong’s neck just to calm him down and remind him that he wasn’t planning to harm him. </p><p>The reaction that the other gave out was to hold back his breaths, giving him a clue that he was awake but silent. And a part of Seonghwa wanted to hear him, hear <em>something</em>. He continued with his small game, abandoning every rational thought that he previously had and just trusted his instinct. It was wrong to do this, but he needed his mate right now, just like he needed air. </p><p>The lack of movement was a sign, Seonghwa had no idea what was going on in Hongjoong’s head, but if the other was letting him be all over him, then he was probably testing him. How far would he go? What did he want, it could be anything. </p><p>Seonghwa breathed out in irritation, feeling how a deep growl was getting muffled against Hongjoong’s skin while he was kissing his skin. And then a warm hand touched his waist, moving up and down slowly, comfortingly. The growl was slowly replaced with sigh, another one, and Seonghwa was feeling almost like last night, burning with something that he wanted to get out of himself. This time he didn’t wake up with that need, he felt it as he was pressed hard against his mate, trying to wake him up in the most fucked up way. </p><p>Hongjoong could add another bad thing in his list of how fucked up Seonghwa was. He could add that he wasn’t romantic, didn’t think of what other people wanted and was ridiculously selfish. </p><p>“Is this okay with you?”  He asked without pulling to look at Hongjoong and stilled for a moment, keeping his weight on his arms. </p><p>To say that Hongjoong was startled from his sleep would be an understatement. His head was still dopey and dizzy, but the satisfaction to find out his mate all around him when he opened his eyes was more than fulfilling. It was so domestic that he feared it. It was cozy. Seonghwa’s lips were so sensual on his skin that left warmth wherever they lingered. He could also feel the irritation and confusion that was streaming off Seonghwa and that was what made him reach out for him, to remind him that he was doing fine, that he was okay with it, but apparently his mate needed more reassurance. </p><p>And it made Hongjoong warm inside when he realized how clear and easy he could read Seonghwa. It was getting easier and clearer to him with each day, every argument they had. </p><p>“It is okay, Seonghwa.”  Hongjoong murmured and he almost cringed at how raspy his own voice came out. Yet he decided to ignore that and acted, so he could take a grip over the back of the other’s neck. He squeezed it lightly so he can  make Seonghwa pay him attention.        “Is it okay with you?”  It was way more correct this question to be forwarded towards the other and not himself. </p><p>Last night what they shared was the right course of action, it was what their nature sought for. But for Hongjoong was also a chance to show not only to himself but to Seonghwa how easy it was, once the pride was put aside. His only intention was to bring pleasure to his mate and nothing else. To make Seonghwa see only him in that moment. </p><p>
  <em>What was that question? </em>
</p><p>Seonghwa had no idea if he was too obviously frustrated, but he didn’t even think more over the emotion that started a fire in his chest. He just refused to look at Hongjoong, got irritated for no reason. Maybe he had expectations. Maybe he thought that Hongjoong would be willing like last night and even the thought of that was making him feel like banging his head somewhere. </p><p>He had expectations again, when he wasn’t meant to complain about anything. </p><p>“It’s sex for me.”  He said, gulping down something that nearly choked him. What arrogance he had to voice that out? </p><p>Seonghwa’s lips parted against Hongjoong’s skin and he licked his neck, slow and apologizing, petting the mark as if that would spare his life. His piercing touched the heated skin there, moved along Hongjoong’s body, he shifted on top of him and started spreading kisses down his chest until he reached a nipple and licked around it, letting the metal ball to play and arouse it. </p><p>Hongjoong’s interest perked up at the prospect of having sex with his mate. His words sounded harsh, but his skin gliding alongside with his own, the metal teasing him in such a dangerous way - it was getting Hongjoong dizzy and even a bit needy. Last night he had refused any kind of attention from Seonghwa on that matter, but it seemed Seonghwa was not giving up. </p><p>The red-haired’s mind was swirling from one chain of thought, to the other, without really comprehending what was it about.  On the other hand, he just knew that what Seonghwa was initiating was too soon, and both of them were far away from trusting each other enough to seal the deal. </p><p>He could not suppress a groan when Seonghwa’s tongue picked up a slow pace in twirling itself around his nipple only so he could tease Hongjoong with the warmth from his talented muscle and the cooler surface of his piercing.  Hongjoong could feel trills in his stomach with each swirl of  Seonghwa's tongue and they aroused him to no end. </p><p>“Too bad I don’t do that.”  Hongjoong had to bit his lip when the words made it out of his mouth, with a lot of self control not to waver due to the treatment the other was giving him, his hands roaming around, yet he was not giving him the attention which Hongjoong wanted. Which made him growl from his side.       “Look at me.” His tone harsh, demanding and as Seonghwa plainly ignored him but just moved to his other nipple, that only ignated Hongjoong more. Forgetting the cozyness, the frenzy that the oher brought to him, he pulled the other by the head harshly. He used such strength that he pulled Seonghwa up to his level, their eyes met.          “I will not allow even you to use me as you want.”  With that he rolled them with ease, using his legs,  so he was the one on top of his mate, still holding him by the neck. </p><p>It was insane how much Seonghwa affected him, elicing his dominance in the most primal ways. Hongjoong attacked the Seonghwa’s lips with rage - teeth clashed against teeth. The kiss was not meant to be pleasant, only to show the other who he was.       </p><p>“Don’t forget who asked favors last night and who granted them.”  Hongjoong said seriously as he detached himself from his mate who looked frustrated from the way tables turned around. </p><p>And in a way Hongjoong was happy with himself.</p><p>“I understand.”  Seonghwa made a swift move, pushed his mate to the side and escaped his trap quickly, using whatever was left from his mind to indicate his own actions as wrong. He wasn’t the one who had to get pissed because his mate rejected him. This wasn’t even a rejection.</p><p>It was what Seonghwa deserved for treating Hongjoong like shit. So he used a moment to compose himself, having his back at the other and tried to cool down the heat, the need to go back to Hongjoong and claim more from him. He shut all of these needs down and rubbed his face in frustration. </p><p>Think…. Seonghwa needed to think. </p><p>To talk about something, distract himself and go back to the balanced person that he wanted to be before his parents brought this boy at his house and asked him to mate with him. </p><p>“Can we not talk about this? Ever?”  Seonghwa asked, sitting back on the bed, but still with his back at Hongjoong. </p><p>Hongjoong laughed at the other. But it was not a mocking one. </p><p>“Do you want to go to my territory today?”  The red haired one had meant to ask that at some point. He wanted Seonghwa to see why Hongjoong was the way he was, and there was no other way than to bring him home.  Yet the question was not asked in a way to show how much it actually mattered whether the other agreed or refused the other. </p><p>“What?”  Seonghwa was a bit startled by the question. He looked behind his shoulder with a frown, trailing his eyes all over Hongjoong’s face.</p><p>“Last night it seemed you wanted to know about me, so I thought..” Hongjoong did not waver when Seonghwa’s frown got deeper with each word he threw at him.      “.. that it’s going to be a good place to start over.” </p><p>“Meaning that I fucked up so bad that you need a fresh start?”  Seonghwa replied a little bit more bitterly than he wanted. He stood up from the bed and just paced around the room like idiot, finding something very weird about the idea that he was given. </p><p>He had never visited another territory. The only time that he did was a memory that he locked up and forgot. The Park clan were known of their conservative way of understanding. They were closed up for visits and only welcomed people at their territory if they were close or soon-to-be-mated to someone from the clan. </p><p>Connections. The Parks were powerful, and that was why the important members of the family were never showing on any outside meetings or parties. They sent people to represent them, usually the keepers of the clan members. </p><p>So it was difficult for Seonghwa to assure himself if that journey was going to be safe. Once he cross out his own territory, he was an enemy of someone else, he and Hongjoong could become a target. Or it could just be one fast ride to the Kim’s territory. </p><p>“I’ve never went out of my territory. I mean, even that part of Jeju where I used to work was a negative zone. Nobody’s land. Just a city that nobody had the right to claim and this…”  He stopped for a moment and looked at Hongjoong.         “......what you want is…”</p><p>Hongjoong closed the distance between them, as if a pull dragged him to his mate - once again he felt that uneasiness which crept at his own heart, but it was coming from Seonghwa. He took a hold of the taller man’s hips and looked at his eyes, trying to find what was causing all of this. </p><p>“What I want is for you to understand what we will be fighting for…” Hongjoong finished the other’s words, probably Seonghwa had another line of thoughts, but Hongjoong just would not allow it to continue further.       “It’s about time you realize that.. the Kims are now part of you.” A smug smile played on his face.        “Do you understand?” </p><p>“I am sure that your family is ….”  Seonghwa felt trapped by two emotions at once and the mentioning of that other family that he didn’t care about by now made him feel uneasy. The Kims were just a name..,. Seonghwa was even sure that Hongjoong’s parents thought of him as a scam, considering that he was wasted through their whole mating day, expressing only that part of his own clan that presented arrogance and everything fucked up. He was taught like that, to act as if he was swelling with importance, so much that every other person talking to him had no soul and cost nothing. </p><p>That was what Park clan taught him. To be on top of the society and value nothing outside what he had. </p><p>He frowned, bringing his hands up and cupped Hongjoong’s face thoughtfully. </p><p>That could change. That part of him that was disgusting could learn to value different things and fight his fears. If Hongjoong agreed to protect Seonghwa’s family, then he had to return the favor. </p><p>“......your family is probably nicer than mine. I’d like to apologize to them as well, because I am sure that my clan didn’t treat them well, despite the arrangement and the diplomatic shit that surround me and you. Okay, we can go there. We can stay there until the fight. I don’t need Eden to guide me if you are there. You can stop me if I go mad.” At least he hoped that Hongjoong could really handle his beast. In the worst scenario, someone would be able to stop Seonghwa, in ever worse scenario- they could shoot him in the fucking head and stop him. But the latter would leave Hongjoong with no choice, no help and nothing to hold on to. So he had to keep his madness in place, for Hongjoong. </p><p>Hongjoong said nothing further, just silently pressed his lips towards Seonghwa’s in a reassuring manner. </p><p> </p><p>***********</p><p> </p><p>“Beware of the need to protect - it’s so consuming that it can turn you into someone like me.” The elderly man laughed bitterly but that did not put out the fire in his eyes.       “It comes from the old times, when everyone feared even their own shadows, but that was the exact reason why we exist - to protect what’s ours, what we hold dear.” The man made eye contact with everyone who had gathered around the fire, it was a basic camp where people could gather and spend some time together.       “The dark times was where our reign started. The Kims never back down, never lose spirit. We’ve been blessed by the Moon Goddess with the power of unity which we continue to show every day with each fight that we hold either on the rings or when we protect our borders.” The man’s voice was getting deeper with each word and that could be not only heard but also felt.         “When the other clans were merely only small alliances, we’ve stood together shoulder to shoulder and protected what was ours - never backing down even an inch away from there.” The storyteller made a wide gesture towards the nature surrounding them, in an attempt to magnify his words.         “For the past decades we’ve lost more than anyone else, but never attacked first, only remained still to fight for what is ours. We do not need anything else, only what has always been part of the Kims, don’t forget that.” His warning was clear to everyone who was listening and paying attention. It looked like more or less the speech was well known as whispers could be heard around, but the man seemed to either not hear them or plainly ignored them.     “Hardships come as falling rocks - one brings the other and soon instead of mere rocks it is landslide what crumbles upon you…” His wise words were meant to be understood by everyone despite their age differences.           “But if everyone stand united - the landslide will stop. It will crumble in front of you and divide to simple rocks again. “</p><p>Seonghwa was staring at the wrinkled face of an old alpha, presenting himself as Mr. Choi, aka San’s father. The man was a true warrior, wearing scars that Seonghwa looked at with awe. His right eye was white, a scar was crossing it, nasty and deep, just nearing his chin. His arms were having similar scars, all coming from a battle. He talked as if he was a part of many, and Seonghwa wouldn’t think otherwise.</p><p>In fact, many of the men and women, even kids, were wearing similar battle scars. </p><p>Seonghwa had heard of the attacks over the Kims. It was what stimulated everyone from the higher society to fight for their territories and make the strongest allies. The stories were twisted with the advantage of those who were rich, lies covering over lies. </p><p>But he couldn’t get it… if the Kims were so low in the hierarchy now, if they didn’t own as much money and goods as Seonghwa’s clan, why Dara picked them as an ally? </p><p>Another look from his side towards a man seated beside Hongjoong’s father Hoseok, made him stick his fucking pride under the ground and bury it deep. The man was missing a hand, had burned face and was still smiling to the stories that Mr. Choi was telling everyone. </p><p>Power. Physical power. </p><p>That's why Dara picked Hongjoong as Seonghwa’s mate. Because his clan were born fighters despite the stories about them. Hundreds were attacking them, and they still fought back. For what was left of their territory. </p><p>They had the dignity and the strength to fight for a better future. For their small pups. Even for Seonghwa if they were asked to. </p><p>He had a bitter taste in his mouth, and it wasn’t coming from the beer that he was given. </p><p>He realized many things for the first 8 hours of their small journey. First, there was nothing to worry about. He and Hongjoong were riding on the bike as Yunho and San were running after them in their wolf forms just in case someone wanted to follow them or attack. </p><p>It was a safe travel anyway, and as Seonghwa approached the land that Hongjoong’s clan owned, he felt as if even the air was different. The trees seemed greener, fresher, the birds were welcoming them with a song, the gates of the main house had opened for them and many men followed the black motorcycle, welcoming the newly mated couple with smiles. </p><p>Fucking smiles. </p><p>Seonghwa was nearly startled when Hongjoong’s mother Hana jumped on her son’s neck in the second when he slid off Seonghwa’s bike. She flattered him with nice comments about how healthy he looked, while kissing his face, caressing it. Hoseok was behind her, watching proudly over his son and once Hana pulled back, he hugged Hongjoong as well. </p><p>Seonghwa was staying aside, looking at the scene with heavy heart. A part of him felt bitter that he had never really felt such kind of warmness coming from his own parents. Even Chan was a bit distant when it came to showing love. He used words in order to keep his presence of a strong and cold alpha. A true leader. </p><p>Seonghwa’s role was the same and he felt bad for representing his clan on Hongjoong’s territory, frowning at the sight of a family who loved their son. Warm…. </p><p>The Kim’s land was colorful, warm and welcoming. </p><p>When Hana had hugged him a moment after that, Seonghwa’s heart pant nervously. He had no idea how to react, to lift his hands up and hug her back or no. Just then he saw the bright smile of Hongjoong, right at his eyesight. He was encouraging him without using words and that made his heart beat even more frantically. </p><p>Seonghwa wasn’t used to that, so he wasn’t prepared for it. </p><p>The awkward moment got interrupted when San and Yunho arrived, followed by a big alpha with sad looking eyes. Mingi. </p><p>Mingi who was asked to stay there, but - <em>using his words</em>- he couldn’t stay in that nest of snakes. Seonghwa could understand, so he just hummed in agreement and followed Hongjoong to their room. </p><p>It was Hongjoong’s room actually, twice smaller than the piece of palace that the Parks invented for them. A small and comfy room, having the biggest window and the most beautiful view of their backyard, which was a river, crossed by a pretty garden and many places to sit around and just chill. </p><p>He wanted to tell Hongjoong that he felt nice, but got startled by the bright smile that the other wore the whole time while being at his home. Hongjoong was touching objects, probably remembering some stuff, but none of them said anything. </p><p>The night came and Hoseok called them out for a dinner. </p><p>Even the dining wasn’t a hall, like at Seonghwa’s mansion, it was outside on the fresh air, many tables put up as one large. The food was waiting for them and despite the rules at the Park clan, the royal family could actually eat with the rest of the clan, even with their keepers. </p><p>Seonghwa had no appetite, he was just looking around dumbfounded, staring at injured people who had the biggest smiles, holding no grudges, no hatred towards him. But they were distant, trying to approach him with only greetings, asked him a question or two about their journey and wished him luck. He kind of wished he could talk more to some of them, but the night was going on and soon they were all gathered up by that fire, where Mr. Choi was telling the story of their clan. </p><p>Maybe Seonghwa had to look at the man, as the story was meant to show him a different side of what he was taught his whole life, but he was mesmerised by the playing kids, the ones who threw rocks at each other, barked, laughed around the elders with no worry. </p><p>Hongjoong’s parents were holding hands while proudly listening to Mr. Choi and Seonghwa could even see San, Yunho and Mingi laughing at something that San was talking across of him. </p><p>And yet, Seonghwa was silent, sitting next to his mate but never talking to him. </p><p>“<em>Now</em> it’s the time that we’ve been hoping for.” Seonghwa could see an apologetic glance was thrown towards Hongjoong’s parent who didn’t even look offended by his insoniation.      “Hongjoong and his mate are to fight in couple of days.” The pause which the scarred man took was made so he could make a point, and he successfully gathered the attention of the last ones who prior to that did not listen to him.         “He has been preparing for this day all his life and I am sure he will not disappoint.” </p><p>Seonghwa stared at the man who was proudly smiling at Hongjoong. He was sure that if he turned to his side, he would see Hongjoong smiling in the same way, but he just narrowed his eyes at the man, feeling another weird pang at his heart. </p><p>These people were waiting for this moment. When their boy was going to bring fame to their clan. A time when one of the Kims would show everyone how powerful they were. Hongjoong was a message for everyone who dared to mess with that territory. </p><p>“The crown is heavy, boys …. but no matter what happens the Kims know how to protect what is ours and will not back down or lower our heads to anyone.”</p><p>And Seonghwa felt a heavy burden when he let the words sting his heart. He valued the meaning behind these words. Mr. Choi was implying openly that it didn’t matter if they were about to win the coming fight or not. The Kims would be behind them no matter what. </p><p>A brief memory of Dara and how she treated him, made Seonghwa see red in front of his eyes for a moment. The anger that started to build up somehow wiped away the awkwardness, the feeling of not belonging there. Everything. </p><p>Seonghwa sighed, raising his big cup of beer up. The people surrounding the fire turned their heads towards him, but his eyes locked at Hoseok and Hana, determination burning like fire in him. </p><p>He had seen enough for the day to make a decision for himself. </p><p>Just like there, at the cliff, when his soul still had loops and holes. Seongnhwa managed to get back up and find his recovery. His rational mind knew when to support something that mattered. </p><p>“I will stand in front of my fears and make sure that <em>we </em>won’t lower heads to anyone ever again.”  Seonghwa said, making a vow to that clan that he hoped would be accepted despite his family status and how shit the Parks were in front of everyone. </p><p>Then he brought the beer to his lips and started drinking from it, gulping down the bad feeling that was haunting him all night. </p><p>“Then that only means that Hongjoong had taken the correct decision.” Mr. Choi said and an comforting smile was directed at Seonghwa, who was only further surprised by the bold hand that squeezed his thigh and remained in place. </p><p>Seonghwa looked at his mate questioningly. Suddenly he saw the fire reflecting into Hongjoong’s eyes and the determination in his look was mixed with something else. Seonghwa wanted to die but understand what was rolling into his head. His head filled up with questions, things that he wanted to tell Hongjoong and damn, he wanted to be finally alone with him, without anyone to remind him of the burden that they were about to hold. </p><p>The fights were still far away and Hongjoong looked like he couldn’t wait for that moment. </p><p>Voices cut the silence as everyone started talking to each other, drinking their beers and giving the couple somewhat of intimacy. And even like that, Seonghwa felt like it wasn’t enough. The hand that was touching him wasn’t enough. </p><p>He leaned his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder and frowned at his own act of closeness, even though he still reached and took the other’s hand into his own. </p><p>“Are you overwhelmed by the difference between our families? Do you want to go back home?”  Seonghwa heard his mate ask, and had to actually take a minute to think it over. At some point he felt how the other took a deep breath and his soothing voice reached him again, lower this time, as if it meant to be heard only by him.      “I really want you to like it here. You love freedom.. and you can have it here.. I can give it to you.” </p><p>“I like it.” Seonghwa replied shortly, even though his head was full of questions, his body tensed by anger and it really felt overwhelming to be here, but not in the bad kind of way. It was hard to believe that such freedom existed even in a land that was getting random attacks by confident assholes who didn’t even want to negotiate. They weren’t even challenging the Kims at the arena, called them weak and tried to ruin them. But the truth was probably different. The Jungs were going to realize it first. </p><p>“Will you tell me about them? About the fears?” Hongjoong asked, not even minding that they were still having audiency. Seonghwa felt the other laying his head over his own. And act of intimacy which was never shown while being in his mansion. There there was no room for such thing as it would only mean one thing - weakness, while here... it was not seen like that. </p><p>“Soon.”  Seonghwa replied, making slow patterns on the top of Hongjoong’s hand. Something about their closeness was making him brave. As he could speak about his past and feel like it wasn’t that bad. Here, in this family it wouldn’t sound like a horror story, or be kept as a secret because it was devastating. It wouldn’t ruin their reputation or change their minds for him. But Seonghwa didn’t want to talk about it.           “Can you just trust me?”</p><p>“I’ll try to.” And it was okay, because he was trying as well. Both of them. </p><p> </p><p>*********************************</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘You love freedom.. and you can have it here.. I can give it to you.’</em>
</p><p>Freedom. It was that feeling that brings you joy, that makes you notice the smallest things around you and cherish them. Freedom was also to have the right to make your own choices. Freedom was to just sit somewhere and enjoy. Freedom was also when you go to your chambers completely free of duties for the rest of the night. </p><p>Seonghwa was under the shower - less fancier than what he was used to, but more comfortable than anything that he had ever experienced. He had Hongjoong in the bathtub next to himself as the other expressed his wish to take a bath in the same time as him. </p><p>They had an awkward moment, staring at each other dumbly, eyes never leaving eyes. And then they started taking their clothes off silently, both of them thinking about things that none was brave enough to speak out. </p><p>In the end, Hongjoong hurried up and said that he would use the bath and let Seonghwa use the shower. And after that they ended up in another silent trap. </p><p>The tension between them was almost suffocating. Seonghwa was washing his hair, having his back at Hongjoong from the moment when the other alpha started to pull his briefs down. He tried to give Hongjoong privacy, so he turned around and didn’t look furthermore. But the image of the other’s bared skin was chasing him in his thoughts, he had to bit his lip hard and try to prevent getting hard to the sight of Hongjoong’s nakedness. The images of how the other looked while resting in the bathtub behind him were nearly freaking him out. He could imagine Hongjoong’s hands running along his skin, the bubbles of the bath foam covering him entirely. Seonghwa had never seen Hongjoong entirely naked and damn, he was so tempted to just turn around and voice out what he wanted… </p><p>But Hongjoong had said what he thought about the matter. </p><p>
  <em>‘I will not allow even you to use me as you want.’</em>
</p><p><em>Use</em>. The word was so filthy that Seonghwa had to gulp hard, his mouth dry and his pride sinking to the bottom.  He couldn’t dare to make any sexual attempt anymore. He couldn’t have such nasty desires over Hongjoong. He couldn’t wish to have him here and now, when the other was thinking that Seonghwa’s intentions were nasty and unfair.</p><p>Seonghwa’s fists clenched and he pressed them against the moist wall and he let the shower wash away his growing passion. The humid air around them was making it hard for him to breath, or it was the arousal coming from the fact that his mate was right behind him and he couldn’t have him. </p><p>He couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t suppress his emotions any longer, he couldn’t breath, sleep, talk. His wolf was so eager to be with Hongjoong that Seonghwa felt like he was going to die sometimes. It got ten time stronger than during the morning. That emotion was showing on the surface whenever he lost control over himself and Seonghwa had to leave the bathroom soon before he did something stupid again. </p><p>His breathing was erratic, heart beating like crazy and his skin burned with the same need that he was holding in for the past days. Seonghwa managed to stop the shower, having the strong intention to leave and then he just turned around and his eyes locked with Hongjoong’s. </p><p>The sight of <em>his </em>alpha staring back at him, was the last drop to his cup. Seonghwa leaned his back against the wet wall, his hand slid down on himself, fingers feeling his own chest, abs, moving low until he reached his throbbing cock and wrapped around it. He was shameless bastard, impudent prick, unpleased asshole who knew exactly where his place was, but still dared to act against what his mate wanted. </p><p>He was shame for Hongjoong, but he didn’t care right now. Not now when his body was craving for the other and he was one step closer to break Hongjoong’s will and cross a line that the other put in front of himself. It was not like Seonghwa couldn’t understand the other, he did. But he was blindly trying to piss off Hongjoong with his fucked up actions. </p><p>“I can’t….” Seonghwa hissed through gritted teeth, his eyes shamelessly checking out Hongjoong’s bare chest, following the drops of water and bath foam as the boy raised a little from his position.            “I’ve…. I’ve never wanted anyone that much…. hell, I’ve never wanted <em>him</em> that badly.”  His hand was stroking his cock to full hardness and he felt how his face was burning with shame. Shame that Hongjoong was watching him jerk off.           “You … you shouldn’t have asked me to…. to be here and I… I’d follow you even if I… even if…” A moan cut his speech.        “....even if I wanna push you against the wall and fuck you like crazy. Look at me.”  Seonghwa growled in both anger and satisfaction.          “Am I not pathetic to you? And you…” His lips pulled in a sarcastic smile.      “... you think that I’m using you.”</p><p>Through lidded eyes and hazed mind Seonghwa saw how Hongjoong raised from the bathtub. Foam was sliding south from his chest and just by the sight of down Seonghwa felt pressured to quicken his pace on his cock. He dared not to move anything else besides his working hand. </p><p>Hongjoong stopped right in front of him and took a hold of his neck with both hands. </p><p>“I want you too, Seonghwa.” His voice was hoarse, admitting that the sight of his mate naked under the shower did not leave him unaffected at all. His state of arousal was also quite obvious. He used the other to support himself as he raised on his toes, instead of pulling Seonghwa for a kiss, since in that way he had to lean all his weight on his mate, thus pressing their bodies together. </p><p>And then the other stood still for a moment, his hands both moved and rested on Hongjoong’s hips, keeping him in place. His eyes stared seriously at Hongjoong, not trusting his instinct to approach just in the same time that Seonghwa started to lose it to the pressure. They were both probably doing this by pure instinct, and Seonghwa knew how that fucked up everything. </p><p>“I won’t ask again.” Seonghwa said, but in the meantime swirled Hongjoong around, leaving his safe spot against the wall only to press his mate against it. The heat that spread all over him when he had Hongjoong’s back against himself was unbearable. His hands gripped the other’s waist and he pulled harshly, his mind already blank by the sight. </p><p>Seonghwa would never talk about it, he didn’t want to even think talking about it, but Hongjoong owned such a nice shaped ass. And right now it was pressed right against his erected cock. The feeling of them touching made Hongjoong shiver and from their close proximity Seonghwa could feel the thrills that shook Hongjoong’s body. Both of them groaned. Hongjoong had the impudence to tilt his head aside, so their eyes locked. And what Seonghwa saw in his eyes made him even braver - he slightly thrusted, teasingly against the other.</p><p>“Tell me if its too much.”  Seonghwa spoke quietly, admiring the wet face of the other, the daring flame in his eyes and his parted lips. His hands moved in action, taking a hold of his neglected cock and he wanted to look everywhere else but at Hongjoong when he was slowly preparing to slid himself in the other’s ass, not even asking him. He thought that Hongjoong might need something, but the thought that he was strong enough to take it all made him push, his first thrust penetrating the other slowly.</p><p>Hongjoong pressed his hands on the wall so he could have support, and in the same way the chance to at least hold something. Everything that he felt was expressed on his face and the notion that Seonghwa was watching him as a hawk was only playing further and further with him. The sensuality with which Seonghwa was treating him was too close to gentleness and somehow that opposed to what they were actually doing. </p><p>A groan was freely let out from him when Seonghwa was balls deep in him. He needed couple of seconds to get used to the intrusion, but in the same time he felt as if those seconds were time wasted. He wanted more of what Seonghwa was offering. Not because he was that knocked off by the other’s desire, but the acknowledgement which Hongjoong had received from the other other made him weak in the knees. </p><p>He had said that he wanted him, and damn if somebody was capable of stopping Hongjoong of not providing what his mate wanted or needed. It just so happened that in this case, Seonghwa wanted his body. </p><p>Seonghwa however was nothing close to gentle when he started moving and Hongjoong welcomed it with open arms. The next thing that he felt was a hard bite on his shoulder as Seonghwa started thrusting hard in him, pressing Hongjoong harder against the wall as he had no other intention but to bring pleasure to him. </p><p>Seonghwa’s head was a mess. Everything that he felt was connected to Hongjoong, from the hard grip that he had on his hips to the deep thrusts that he was giving him, earning more and more moans, each one of them a different tonality of high. He finally felt like the pressure was gone, as if his bursting anger had transformed into passion and the way that Hongjoong was accepting him felt like heaven. He was listening to the other’s moans, his own small grunts and the hard skin slapping that was making everything seem more realistic. </p><p>It wasn’t happening in his head, Seonghwa repeated that, opening his eyes to look down at the dirty sight. His lips pulled in a smirk and he felt brave enough to do something else. He slapped Hongjoong’s butt hard enough to leave a mark, freaking out to the sound of his hand hurting the other. </p><p>At that Hongjoong moved quickly, turning around and pushing Seonghwa from himself. His eyes were on fire when Seonghwa met them. But before he could even react Hongjoong forced another fierce kiss on him. And it was enough of a hint for the other alpha as he pushed Hongjoong back against the wall, still kissing him. His hands moved back on the shorter one’s hips and he patted once, as Hongjoong jumped and he caught him in midair, crushing his back against the moist wall. Their eyes met for a moment and Seonghwa stared at his own reflection, enjoying the sight of his messed up mate and the desire that flashed there when he got back into him with a harsh thrust. Hongjoong’s lips parted and Seonghwa started to have different images of what these lips could do to him, of how he could have them wrapped around his cock next time, how he could listen to Hongjoong’s groans more often as he gets him like this. </p><p>Seonghwa was pounding in him, as Hongjoong’s fingers were digging holes in his arms, cutting fresh lines of skin as he scratched, his legs wrapped around Seoonghwa’s waist to keep him deep. And damn, he was so deep. The pleasure was building up within him, his low grunts turning into loud groans, mixing with Hongjoong’s satisfied ones and the heat started to get too much after a moment. </p><p>Seonghwa growled, sinking his teeth in the spot between Hongjoong’s neck and shoulder, biting over his own mark, abusing it until the wound started bleeding and the other alpha released a pleased cry. It encouraged him to keep biting, making a nasty mess of Hongjoong’s skin as he stopped at the white shoulder, ripping the skin there with his last hard thrusts. At that point Seonghwa had no control over his body, he was breathless, panting, seeing nothing but red, his movements were erratic, hard, too harsh with Hongjoong but the nearing end was making it hard for him to stop. </p><p>He pushed few more times and burst into Hongjoong with a quiet hiss that died into Hongjoong’s shoulder as his eyes shut closed and his entire body shook by satisfaction. That was so far…. the best that Seonghwa had ever had, the prove was when he didn’t pull back like a bastard and leave his partner hanging there. Seonghwa didn’t even give himself time to go down from the high of his orgasm as he pulled out of the other and dropped himself down on his knees, biting hard over the gentle area of Hongjoong’s hip bone. </p><p>“Your turn.”  He shot Hongjoong a smirk and picked his member in hand, guiding it all into his mouth.</p><p>If Hongjoong had anything coherent in his head - it flew right away when Seonghwa started blowing him. Hongjoong’s hands were both into the Seonghwa's wet hair, messing it up, pulling it in attempt to show him what he was doing with him. When Seonghwa started playing with his piercing around his arousal, that was it for the red-haired one. Hongjoong didn’t have time to even blink when he came into Seonghwa’s mouth, not giving a damn whether he had to warn him or something. It was a primal instinct to mark him as his own and the other had to take it as man, exactly as Hongjoong had done it for him. </p><p>Hongjoong’s legs were trembling from the strength of his own orgasm. He was basically holding himself straight only because at some point he had started squeezing Seonghwa’s shoulders. </p><p>And Seonghwa was considerate enough to help as he raised up again and wrapped one arm around Hongjoong, only to push him against the wall as if that was going to keep him there. With his other hand he reached the shower faucet and turned the hot water on again. His breath hitched at the sight of water, washing away the bloody mess that he created while being crazily passionate and looking at the bites now only made him wonder…. why did he need to give Hongjoong reminder like that when the other was openly expressing everything that he wanted, felt and Seonghwa was usually the one rejecting him. </p><p>Seonghwa decided to keep his mind dazzled by what just happened and worry about his shitty actions later, so as he leaned to place a kiss over Hongjoong's forehead, he just sealed a promise with himself. </p><p>
  <em>Never hurt him.</em>
</p><p>“So, was that a plan of yours, or it just happened?”  Seonghwa spoke, burying his face in Hongjoong’s neck as he let the water wash away their sin, the blood and the burning passion.</p><p>“Ever since you woke me up.”  Hongjoong laughed lowly, admitting easily what had been on his mind all day long. He hugged his mate and tried to pull him closer, as if it was even possible.      “Are you complaining now?”</p><p>“Did I reach your expectations?”  was the muffled reply that he got. </p><p>“I was not aware it is a competition.” Hongjoong brushed his lips against Seonghwa’s cheekbone      “I’ll be more prepared next time.”  </p><p>“Does this mean that we jumped from <em>‘starting over’</em> to <em>‘learning what we like about each other</em>’?”  Seonghwa asked, not quite sure what Hongjoong’s current mood was. He felt calm, having the other wrapped all over him and in the same time keeping him like this, with the water falling over their heated bodies and a dumb conversation being exchanged to kill the awkwardness.</p><p>“It’s called progress, yes.” Hongjoong tapped Seonghwa’s lower back.         “And seriously, did you had to jerk off right in front of me? Tease.” Hongjoong graced his teeth against the other’s shoulder. It was like they were doing things backwards all the time. First the sex - then the sweet talk. Yet, Hongjoong had never felt more comfortable in anyone’s hands after a steamy session. Not that he needed it or anything, but it felt nice to have the other so close and not because they were craving for their bodies. Hongjoong could not deny though that he wanted anything else in that moment, except the other’s touch. </p><p>“Not my fault that you started to take your clothes off.” Seonghwa replied after a moment, leaving Hongjoong to pet his skin however he liked as he himself wanted to stop his own masterpiece from bleeding, but Hongjoong didn’t even seem in pain. He still licked the skin here and there, realizing that it wouldn’t heal it.           “Still, I figured out that I have something against you and you can’t even try fighting me.” He said proudly, letting the metal ball of his piercing to trace the outlines of the mark that was freshly opened on Hongjoong’s neck.       “You can’t last a minute when I suck you off.”</p><p>And Hongjoong was not even ashamed of the truth behind those words. </p><p>“We’ll see about that.”  He could not stop himself from plotting dirty scenarios during which he could get his revenge over Seonghwa thou. </p><p>With a satisfied on his smile, Hongjoong pushed the other from himself and just pointed at the door, giving him a clue that it was about time they actually made it to a bed.</p><p>“Sure, don’t expect me to pass you a towel or something.”  Seonghwa winked at him and just left, not doing much more than to drop himself on the bed and wait for the other to follow. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So another progress between the two alphas *hides in the corner* Hongjoong can't hold back to a sight of Seonghwa, doing stuff under the shower. <br/>You can share your thoughts over this mess here xDDD<br/>Also, who is rooting for the Kim clan? hahaha</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Confessions.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter 7</b>
</p><p>The morning came way too soon. During the night neither Hongjoong or Seonghwa had shied away from each other, on the contrary. They’d spent most of the night pressed together, talking. It was not like sharing some deep stuff, secrets or dreams - they were not teenagers for God’s sake. They talked about nothing serious, but what mattered was that they did it. Seonghwa was the first to drift to sleep and Hongjoong did not wish to keep him up any longer either. It had been a long day for the other after all, as he was kind of forced out of his comfort zone. But what Hongjoong saw once Seonghwa was not put under direct pressure by the walls of his own home, it amazed him. Seonghwa was more open, no longer that cautious. He had even saw him exchanging meaningless smiles with some of his family members. </p><p>And it had warmed Hongjoong’s heart to such extent that he could not erase the image of it. </p><p>Dreams of his own mate’s expressions were haunting Hongjoong all night, hence why he was the first one to open his eyes and observe the masterpiece which was sharing his bed.</p><p>There was no starstruck realization that hit him after they had sex - it was something that was only logical it would happen and he saw no reason to prolong it any further, that’s why Hongjoong had even proposed sharing the bathroom time together. And he did not regret it. </p><p>Hongjoong still felt the aftermaths of accepting Seonghwa, both physically and mentally. His body ached in a good way and he wanted to keep that feeling for a little longer.</p><p>His eyes followed the Seonghwa’s naked chest and lingered there for a second, reminding himself of what Seonghwa had done to him just the previous morning. Somehow it felt like more than a day had passed, taking in mind the progress which they had. His eyes wandered down to the sheet that was covering his mate’s lower half. </p><p>Maybe Hongjoong could take revenge on the other and use the same tactics on him? But that was so not his style, Hongjoong concluded instantly. </p><p>A deep sigh came out deep from his lungs when his eyes moved up and stopped at Seonghwa’s face. It was so peaceful. Not even a single wrinkle which could resemble a frown - his mate’s almost permanent facial expression. Not even a hard glare, since his beautiful and intense eyes were closed tight in a dreamless sleep. </p><p>Hongjoong’s insides twisted at the coziness which he once felt. It was so right to be laying on the pillow next to his mate’s one, it was so right to stalk him in his sleep when he was not able to notice it. It was so perfect to see Seonghwa so void of any troubled thought. </p><p>By now, he was certain that Seonghwa was more of a pretender than anything else. He had deducted that from his stay in the Parks mansion. There Seonghwa had to meet his people’s expectation and he feared failing them. Hongjoong was not sure whether the fear was even comprehended by Seonghwa, but to him it was easy to see it. </p><p>And that’s why he wanted to be  strong enough and show Seonghwa that he did not need that. He did not need anyone who wanted him to pretend because even if Seonghwa was still hiding himself from Hongjoong in one way or another, he was sure that his true self was more considerate than the one that he’d letting anyone see.</p><p>And that only became clearer to him after they started sharing intimacy. </p><p>Seonghwa was always the one who seeked assurance, seeked permission or acceptance even when Hongjoong eagerly participated.</p><p>That pure need to <em>protect </em>this particular side of Seonghwa was driving Hongjoong for awhile now and he was certain that it’s going to be this way until the last breath he’d had to take. </p><p>Hongjoong moved slightly so he was exactly next to Seonghwa’s face. He reached out and placed a careful hand over his cheek. Hongjoong didn’t want to interrupt the other’s sleep, but the sudden need to see those conflicted eyes was too demanding. </p><p>He started leaving small kisses over Seonghwa’s face but when he saw that this technique was not going to do it, Hongjoong was forced to change his approach. He uncovered the other’s naked body and with one swift move settled himself over the unsuspecting man. In order to support himself, he placed his hands over Seonghwa’s body when he adjusted himself onto his lap. </p><p>Then and only then did he notice that Seonghwa was no longer sleeping, as he was smirking at Hongjoong with eyes closed. </p><p><em>Pretender</em>, indeed. </p><p>That realization did not stop him though for flattering Seonghwa’s body with gentle touches. It was beyond him why he wanted to show the other what a few gentle touches could do. Was it so he could initiate another round or only to appreciate the well fit body that he had? </p><p>“So you won’t open your eyes, huh?” Hongjoong asked finally. His fingertips never stopping exploring Seonghwa’s body in a teasing manner. </p><p>“Pretend that I’m asleep.”  Seonghwa said, resting his hands on Hongjoong’s bare legs only to show him some kind of attachment as he stroked the warm skin slowly.</p><p>“Is that so?” Hongjoong asked. The smirk over Seonghwa’s lips only stretched, but no reply followed. Following the other suggestion, Hongjoong ignored the knowing look over his mate’s face and he lowered down to cherish his neck with a few licks and nibbling his skin from time to time. There was no rush and he prolonged his actions more and more. Not really kissing Seonghwa's skin, but neither biting either. Just doing what he wanted with Seonghwa. </p><p>When he got bored with abusing the other’s neck, Hongjoong moved to his left shoulder only to give it the same treatment. And then the right one. And then Seonghwa's chest, after that his stomach. </p><p>“It’s….”  Seonghwa wasn’t doing anything to stop him neither encourage him. He was just breathing, before he started speaking his mind.         “Different to wake up like this.”  He said and hurried up to give a further explanation before Hongjoong misunderstood him.           “I mean, to wake up next to someone who’s staring at me like a little creep. I get it, I have the face and the body, I have it all.”</p><p>“I want you to always be this relaxed in my hands Seonghwa.” And as if to make his point get through the thick head of the other, Hongjoong swirled his tongue into Seonghwa’s navel. That made the other cringe from him, but Hongjoong was quick enough to take a firm hold of him so he would have no chance in distancing himself from Hongjoong. </p><p>Seonghwa’s quiet laughter reached Hongjoong’s ears and he marveled at the sound of it. Once again his heart was squeezed by an invisible hand, and it twist it in such a way that he almost felt the fist holding it there.</p><p>Hongjoong lifted his eyes and saw that Seonghwa was watching him with something in his eyes that he could not deshipher yet. But soon he would learn how to do it. </p><p>In that moment another realization came to the red haired one. </p><p>He wanted to show Seonghwa that it was not that hard to be like that - to be open, to be calm, relaxed in his presence and it was not needed for them to be naked in order to obtain it. What Seonghwa really needed was someone to care for him and be gentle with him. Not gentle in a way like Seonghwa was damsel in distress, but gentle in that way where he was satisfied with only holding hands with him. </p><p>“I like your laughter.” Hongjoong confessed.</p><p>Seonghwa’s smile froze on his face and the laughter that Hongjoong enjoyed so much suddenly stopped. He frowned a little at the realization that just hit him like the morning sunbeams and he had no idea what sneaked into his heart in that moment, but it made him think of something disturbing. </p><p>“It’s too early for compliments, Hongjoong.”   Seonghwa said, shoving the other quickly as he felt how heat started spreading all over him and the worst that could happen was to blush in front of someone that he had sex with. </p><p>He mumbled a quiet <em>‘I need a shower’</em> and left the room, as if escaping a further interaction like that. </p><p>Hongjoong was not even surprised at his mate’s reaction. He let his laugh so loud that he was sure that Seonghwa heard him, because that was exactly when he turned on the shower. Probably in a way to muffle the sound of him laughing at him. </p><p>“You didn’t smell that bad you know. Do you want me to join you again.”</p><p>A loud <em>‘No’ </em>followed and that made Hongjoong laugh even more. </p><p> </p><p><br/>
**********************************</p><p> </p><p>“I know what healthy relationship looks like when I see one. You act differently, though.”  Yunho said, approaching from behind.</p><p>Seonghwa was spacing out, eyes glued to a field where little kids were playing around with their older brothers and sisters, who had switched into wolves and let the little ones chase after their tales. They looked so free that it was frightening. </p><p>The sentence that Yunho used reminded Seonghwa of a day few weeks ago when his keeper was throwing jokes about Seonghwa being capable of screwing anyone that he wished, even when his heart was taken by Wooyoung. </p><p>Wooyoung, who was falling deeper and deeper into his mind, threatened to be locked up in the dark room of memories that Seonghwa didn’t want to have anymore. </p><p>He sulked, just a little bit, never tearing his eyes away from the kids that he followed earlier ago just because he saw them walking out of the camp with no permission. Seonghwa thought that it was dangerous for smaller wolves and kids, so he guarded them in a safe distance. </p><p>“Please, you can come up with…”  he started to say, his favorite quote to whatever Yunho wanted to tell him, and the other cut him off in the middle. </p><p>“..<em>.I can come up with better</em>, yeah, whatever.” Yunho waved in front of his face.          “It's like you are in conflict with yourself. Dude, I’ve seen you like this before.”  He rubbed Seonghwa’s shoulder and he finally rolled his eyes on his keeper’s face.</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“You look like a ghost.”</p><p>“I look scary?”</p><p>“You look dead.”</p><p>Seonghwa frowned, getting agitated by the stupid worried face of his beta. Yes, Yunho had always been pain in the ass, he had always noticed the smallest things about Seonghwa and discussed them with him. He was honest, and Seonghwa knew when to stop bullshitting. </p><p>His shoulders dropped and his eyes rolled down to his hands. Seonghwa locked them in a safe grip, his fingers playing nervously. </p><p>“What are you thinking? Do you think of <em>him</em>?”  Yunho asked and Seonghwa winced. </p><p>“Wooyoung is far gone from my fucking life. No need to worry about him. Besides, I don’t wanna get him killed anyway, so it's better that he doesn’t call me, that fucking bitch.”  He said bitterly, chewing on his bottom lip. Damn, that sting his heart a little bit more every time.  </p><p>Yunho sighed.       “So it’s because you worry that <em>Hongjoong will kill him</em>?”  He said and damn, he sounded <em>so </em>disappointed.           “I hate talking to you like that, but you are fucking selfish. Egoist. You don’t think of him at all.”</p><p>A low growl threatened the beta, but he didn’t stop talking, instead he locked his angry eyes with Seonghwa’s irritated stare. </p><p>“If Wooyoung suddenly showed up or called you, would you dismiss Hongjoong and run to him?”</p><p>“Don’t you fucking dare.”  Seonghwa’s eyes narrowed and he felt how his heart rate increased madly. No one….no one had the right to disrespect his mate. </p><p>“Answer me.” Yunho’s voice raised at the end and he didn’t look scared at all.         “You take Hongjoong for granted. I know how that feels.” </p><p>Seonghwa snorted.         “You? When did you ever ….”</p><p>“I’ve felt rejected, Seonghwa. When you were taken ….”</p><p>The low grow that rumbled from Seonghwa’s throat wasn’t just threatening now, it was a sign for his beta, but the other was too emotional to notice on time. Seonghwa’s mind got blank in the matter of seconds and the beta just kept looking at him with sorrow in his eyes. </p><p>“Please, let me talk. Let me tell you, I was fucking close to ending my life, Seonghwa.”  The beta confessed, his emotions showing up as he looked at Seonghwa with terror, taking both of his hands into his own. </p><p>The alpha didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to hear anything about it, he wanted to run, burst, go to Hongjoong and scent the roses and rain from his skin. He wanted to be with his mate… </p><p>“I couldn’t live with the fact that I wasn’t fast enough to…”  Yunho continued, Seonghwa was shaking his head in denial, his own eyes burning with rage. </p><p>“Stop.” He warned again. </p><p>“No, let me talk.” Yunho insisted.</p><p>“We had never…” Seonghwa tried speaking calmer, but his breathing was erratic, angry.         “We never mention <em>that…</em>. We don’t talk about it, Yunho, why the fuck would you….”</p><p>“I was about to kill myself when Eden pulled me up and collected the pieces of me." Yunho raised his voice at him again and this time Seonghwa didn't stop him.  "He was the person who made me fight. He…. he was about to claim me when Chan found you.”  Yunho said, a tear drop rolling from his eye, but he wiped it quickly and stared at Seonghwa, who’s brows furrowed in confusion. </p><p><em>Eden and Yunho</em>…. What?</p><p>“Eden and you?”  He voiced it out and suddenly, that fear that wanted to pull him down to the bottom of his hurt soul, vanished completely. He had no idea what had happened in the mansion in the past, but he knew for fact that Eden and Yunho were both unmated. Dedicated to the clan, warriors. </p><p>“You weren’t…. you …” Yunho bit his lip and pulled up Seonghwa’s hands, kissing the back of each one as if he wanted to apologize. Then his eyes sparkled sadly and he shook his head.    “You came back, so my duty wasn’t over. I had a life in front of myself. A life where I’d protect you and I swear to God if I ever let something happen to you again….”</p><p>“You are in love?”  Seonghwa’s confusion made his face twist with anger. He knew the law. Once a keeper get selected to protect an alpha, his life is dedicated to them. No mates, no bonding. To protect the alpha was the ultimate rule. And for Yunho…. for Yunho must have been harder than any other beta.          “Eden is….”</p><p>“You…” Yunho cut him off, his hands gripping Seonghwa’s ones.         “You are the most important person for me. You…”</p><p>“Yunho, why haven’t you ever told me?”  Seonghwa struggled, the anger coming back to him. It wasn’t fair to know this and be powerless. It wasn’t fair that Yunho and Eden could not meet after Eden was sent to another territory of theirs, just to protect it from rogues. It wasn’t fair that they were separated for fucking years. It wasn’t fair that Seonghwa’s choice to run away had actually hurt Yunho afterwards. He kept Yunho away from the one that he wanted to be with. </p><p>It wasn’t fair.</p><p>“You…”  Yunho’s speech didn’t stop there as he acted as if Seonghwa wasn’t even talking to him.           “You are the most important person to Eden.”  He finalized his words and his face looked serious, despite the small sadness that Seonghwa could clearly see.         “We’ve made our decisions. There is nothing that can be done. I am a keeper and he…”</p><p>“He decided to be my personal trainer.”  Seonghwa was talking his mind out, looking at Yunho as if he still couldn’t believe. All that time, was he that blind to notice? Was Eden just so fucking good at hiding his feelings? Was that why Yunho was absent, dealing with Seonghwa’s life downtown of Jeju instead of being there? Were they both avoiding each other?            “And you went to shut down my jobs and…”</p><p>“I said all of this because I know what it’s like to love.”  Yunho mumbled, a small smile dancing on his lips.         “I know how hard it might be for you to make decisions while your heart longs for someone. I know how it feels like to be rejected by someone that you were this close to … to claim. Just don’t hurt Hongjoong. It hurts like hell to be rejected.”  </p><p>And then Yunho turned his eyes away from Seonghwa and stared forward at the kids. </p><p>Silence fell upon them and the alpha was desperately trying to understand. Was that an advice? Was Yunho trying to lecture him shit about his own relationship with Hongjoong? Did he just want to help Seonghwa? </p><p>He had no idea what the keeper’s message was, but it made him feel horrible. That speech wiped out all of Seonghwa’s own crappy thoughts, fears and just made him think of other people before himself. For the first fucking time, he didn’t care about himself. </p><p>He cared for Yunho, who got rejected by Eden, he cared for Eden , who would never admit having feelings for a keeper, he cared for Hongjoong as well, because Seonghwa left his house like a coward and ran away again, just to avoid closeness with him. </p><p>Seonghwa was indeed selfish. He got what he wanted, he got the sex that he wanted and then what? Kept distance with Hongjoong because he couldn’t afford sharing emotions with him? And why? </p><p>“I am a mess.”  He said, hands digging into his black hair as he ruffled it out of frustration. </p><p>Yunho nodded, still not looking at him.       “This house is not our palace. I shared a room with San and we…. heard you. Thin walls, you are lucky that we were the ones listening.”</p><p>Seonghwa exhaled, feeling how the familiar shame creeped under his skin and greeted his anxiety. So… Yunho already knew that he was an asshole. </p><p>“I felt close to him.”</p><p>“Physically. Your bond is craving for him, but your soul and heart are mislead. Release yourself from Wooyoung.” Yunho turned to look at him and Seonghwa carefully glanced back.           “You are such a dick to Hongjoong, it’s unbelievable how he has the will to fight for jackass like you.”</p><p>Seonghwa hummed in agreement.          “He is crazy.”</p><p>“He is loyal.”</p><p>“He is my mate.”</p><p>“He is your everything.”  Yunho said and stood up from his spot.         “Respect him.”</p><p>Seonghwa frowned and reached up to grab Yunho’s wrist before the other could walk away. His grip was hard and his stare - harder. Yunho stared fondly at him and smiled. The determination in Seonghwa’s eyes was what reflected his heart. </p><p>He was honest. He wasn’t like the other Parks. He was keeping his promises. </p><p>“I will. You know that I will.”</p><p> </p><p>*****************************</p><p> </p><p>Hongjoong was screwed. Not metaphorically, but literally. And there was not single regret passing through his mind at least until his keeper had announced it in front of literally anyone who wanted to listen to him. </p><p>San wanted to embarrass him. </p><p>And it was working. </p><p>“I’ve never known Hongjoong is so vocal.” San snickered while glancing at him. Currently Yeosang was his victim who obviously was interested in the story. Mingi wanted to tear his own ears off, sitting beside the red hair. </p><p>“Please,stop.” It was not even him who complained, but his brother. </p><p>“Nope. Everyone should hear this.” San defended himself. </p><p>Yeosang’s ears perked at the news and his posture straightened on the comfortable couch. He fully turned towards Hongjoong and his eyebrows wiggled knowingly. </p><p>“I swore to my love for Mingi, that I’m never going to like your mate, but after such turn of events …. I must ask you a couple of questions.”</p><p>Hongjoong shook his head unbelievingly.       “The only information you’re going to get is from San’s insinuations. I’m not talking about it.” He wondered why he was even here, sharing his lunch with them when he could wander off and save himself from his bothersome friends. He was still amused at the way Seonghwa behaved around him and most specifically how he tried to avoid him. Couple of hours had passed and he still could not see even a stray of the other’s black hair. </p><p>“Insinuations?” San was flabbergasted. </p><p>“Would you please stop this ridiculous behaviour of yours?” Hongjoong had quite enough of the other. Okay, maybe he deserved the other to tease him from time to time, in order to get him pay back for something he accused him, but Hongjoong didn’t have any intention to dwell into his keeper’s actions. His initial intent was to just play it cool and not bother himself with any explanations but that only pushed San further. </p><p>“Are you serious? Why wouldn’t we comment your real mating?”</p><p>“As if the mark on my neck is fake or what?” Hongjoong fired back. </p><p>Yeosang scoffed.        “Boy you have a lot of marks like I can see.” He said knowingly, his eyes moving from one bite on another.         “Next time wear a jacket or something, you show off.”</p><p>“If you don’t stop this shit, I’m gonna throw up on all of you.”  Mingi looked like he was going to die instead, staring at his brother with something close to disappointment.        “And Hongjoong, what happened to the ‘<em>allies only</em>’?”</p><p>“Oh shut up, you know nothing.” Yeosang rolled his eyes.         “Big stupid idiot. Let the kids have their fun.”</p><p>“Kids?” San looked at Yeosang as if he was offended, and truly he was most probably was, Hongjoong deducted from his furrowed eyebrows. </p><p>“You know what, since you don’t need me in order to retell the whole ‘<em>story</em>’, I’m just going to leave you.” Without waiting for anyone to say something else for which he was going to feel more embarrassed than ashamed that he and his mate had bothered San and Yunho’s sleep with their passionate moments, he raised up and quickly left the small gathering of theirs.</p><p>Hongjoong moved through the house in attempt to distract himself, when the biggest distraction quite literally bumped into him. </p><p>“Hey.”  He greeted his own mate in the most awkward way. Seonghwa looked disturbed in a way and Hongjoong could not miss that even if he wanted, as the usual frown on his face was there. But his dancing eyes were giving him up more than his expression. Seonghwa looked at him as he couldn't believe that he was actually seeing him. </p><p>And that did not stood well with the red haired.         “Is everything alright?” Hongjoong could not stop himself from asking. Thoughts of that the other actually had been avoiding him since he came to regret what they done troubled Hongjoong. It was not like Seonghwa had minded it in the morning, but maybe it was because his consciousness finally caught up with him. </p><p>However, Hongjoong refused to believe in that. Seonghwa had been comfortable with him in the morning at least until Hongjoong became too bold in his approach towards the other.</p><p>Instead of providing a verbal answer to him, Seonghwa grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards the direction of the kitchen. The red haired one instantly cringed since he had left there the ‘<em>let’s greet the idiots for their first sex together</em>’ party. But when they entered the kitchen, he breathed out in relief as the place was idiots-free. Either they heard them coming and fled or had done it before that. </p><p>While Hongjoong was thinking about where his friends had ran off to, he was picked up and settled on the kitchen counter. His eyes stared at Seonghwa and wondered what was the reason of all of this. </p><p>“I was outside, minding my own business, okay??”  Seonghwa started, a little bit breathless, but frustrated enough to not mind his actions. His hands placed on Hongjoong’s thighs, a moment later left their place and he started rubbing his own hips like crazy.      “Yunho came to talk shit, but this shit is… I can’t get it out of my head,”</p><p>Hongjoong was confused what the other was suddenly talking about.        “Okay?” he dumbfoundedly questioned. </p><p>“And…”  Seonghwa stepped back, obviously conflicted by something as he frantically moved, went to the fridge and found a beer there. He hated damn beers but this clan seemed to love them, so he pulled a can out and opened it. He didn’t start talking until he took several big gulps. And then Seonghwa got his thirst satisfied.        “And I have no idea if it’s okay to talk about it or no, but Yunho kept sharing like…. he had never told me that he … had a hard time and I’m such a selfish bitch.”</p><p>The scene in front of Hongjoong suddenly from confusing became <em>endaring</em>. He had to grip the edge of the counter so he wouldn’t jump from it and hug Seonghwa. His mate was actually <em>attempting </em>in sharing with him. </p><p><em>The miracles sex could lead to</em>, Hongjoong sarcastically thought. </p><p>“What did he tell you?” Hongjoong tried to push the other to continue, as he could not provide any physical support (that he really, really wanted to provide right now), while he kept staring at the deshivaled look of Seonghwa. He kept drinking from the beer as if his life depended on it. </p><p><em>Cute</em>, another random thought that Hongjoong could not suppress. </p><p>“That he was close to claiming Eden?”  Seonghwa said and put the can to the side, somehow forgetting about it. His mind was preoccupied with<em> What ifs</em> and so many questions and he couldn’t pull that conversation out of his head because he simply had no idea. After Yunho left him alone and he had to go back to the house by himself, something inside of Seonghwa flicked and he transformed into a mess of wonders and regrets. The first primitive thing that seemed reasonable then was to find Hongjoong and talk to him. So he did… </p><p>“When I was <em>gone</em>, Yunho had a hard time, he said that he felt terrible and Eden … Eden, he took care of Yunho and they probably fucked?”  He blinked at Hongjoong, finally coming closer to him again and his hands found place on Hongjoong’s knees, parting them in a nervous manner.            “They probably fucked. Sex ruins everything, I tell you that and then since I came back, Yunho had to keep being my keeper, it’s , you know what it is and Eden fucked him over and left. Eden is kind of weird, he is older isn’t he? I can’t figure this out.”</p><p>What Seonghwa was throwing at Hongjoong was not something that he really needed to know, because Hongjoong had vivid imagination and he certainly didn’t need the image of those two getting at it. But he could understand why his mate was so distressed. Hongjoong himself felt bad for San. It was ridiculous what their society took from the keepers when it came to their duty. When they were younger they’d talked about it and Hongjoong had promised his best friend that if he ever found someone who he wanted to take, then he was not going to be an obstacle for San. Of course, San dismissed the idea. The keepers were way too loyal to consider themselves first. </p><p>Seonghwa was still looking at him and holding him by the knees and he could not really stop himself from wrapping his hands around Seonghwa’s neck, bringing him closer to himself. </p><p>“I don’t like Eden. He is … someone who keeps you away from me.” It was a bad time to confirm that he really didn’t want the trainer that close to Seonghwa and the knowledge that he had history with Yunho, who was assigned to keep Seonghwa away from any trouble … might not be doing his job as he had feelings for the said guy.<br/>
The jealous chain of thought was quickly put that by Hongjoong, as he couldn’t really believe that Yunho would turn his back on Seonghwa for someone else, even for a person he thought he had future with.   </p><p>Seonghwa frowned.      “He was trying to help Yunho and I think that he did it because…” He continued his own clues, following memory after memory, putting facts together and for a moment there, he was just openly sharing everything with Hongjoong with no boundaries.            “...I know both of them, of course I know Yunho better but today he shocked me with the words that he was going to …” The words stuck in his mouth and Seonghwa sighed in frustration, looking away. He still couldn’t even think of Yunho, harming himself because he thought that he had failed.          “....he was going to kill himself, so Eden just filled up the gap. I think he mislead Yunho in order to keep him. It’s my fault.”</p><p>Seonghwa’s words confused Hongjoong once again. <em>Yunho wanted to kill himself? It was Seonghwa’s fault?</em></p><p>“How is it your fault?” Hongjoong asked not really thinking it through. His thoughts lead him to the scene which he’d witnessed in the Parks’ basement. The fieriosity with which Seonghwa had trained back then. The way Eden talked about not allowing Seonghwa on a real arena until their bond was stronger. Somehow he was sure that this was related to the reason why Seonghwa had left in the first place. But Yunho was with him during the time he spent away from his own clan. </p><p>And then the question sobered Seonghwa up better than the beer. His frown became permanent and he felt how a wave of sweat ran through him, feeding his anxiety once again.<em> No, not that topic</em>, not twice in the same day. </p><p>He growled unconsciously and looked back at Hongjoong. </p><p>“He wasn’t fast enough. This is what he is blaming himself for.”  Seonghwa still responded the question, knowing that lies would’ve done a better job, but he wasn’t that kind of a guy. He wasn’t going to feed Hongjoong’s curiosity with bullshits that would only make them fight someday. Instead, he wanted to keep a line between them, just that one line that he would cross eventually. Not now.         “Look, I know that you’re tired of this…”  His hands moved to the other’s abs and he pushed him back gently so their eyes could meet. He wanted to see if his words would disappoint Hongjoong and he wished he could keep him in this current mood. Whatever that was, it made him feel calmer.           “And I know that I wanna tell you everything, but I can’t. Just …. focus on Yunho now. He had went through a lot, but he is so fucked up that he never shared with me. Any of this, okay? If I knew that he had some… relationship, maybe…”</p><p>What Seonghwa was telling Hongjoong made no sense. He was blaming himself for Yunho’s suicidal thoughts, which were caused by his own guilt for something he didn’t do - absolute nonsense. But Hongjoong's desire to dwell further into the matter was erased by one comment from the other.</p><p>
  <em>And I know that I wanna tell you everything</em>
</p><p>Hongjoong swore he was fed up from those betraying cringes that he was experiencing so damn frequently. And every time the reason for them was only one - his mate, either his words or actions. This he knew why he wanted to bury his canines into the other’s flesh. </p><p>His own possessiveness was trying to suffocate him. </p><p>Hongjoong was breathing hard in attempt to restore his sanity back. He didn’t want the other to take notice of how affected he was by his words, not when he was finally sharing things with him. Seonghwa was making progress after progress, breaking his own walls for Hongjoong and the realization couldn’t just be ignored by the red-haired one. </p><p>Seonghwa trusted him enough to continue talking, so Hongjoong had to gather himself and meet the other’s expectations. He worked his brain hard,so he could actually remind himself what was the rest of Seonghwa’s words meant. His mate was blinking at him expectantly and he had to think of something, to encourage him.. but he came up blank. </p><p>“What's… wrong with you?”  Seonghwa asked, bewilderedly staring at the other as he moved his hands up to cup Hongjoong’s face and explore his expression. Once again, he had no damn idea what just happened, but he could only connect the dots and come back to the fact that he just filled up Hongjoong’s head with bullshit.        “Shit, listen I don’t wanna piss you off, okay? I just have no fucking idea what is expected of me to do when Yunho wanna fuck my trainer and that's impossible.”</p><p>“Why do you think something is expected by you? It’s his life.” Hongjoong finally opened his mouth to voice out his opinion.        “And you don’t piss me off. It’s just.. you can’t take everyone’s problems and blame yourself for them, alright?”</p><p>Was that… another advice? </p><p>Seonghwa’s frown started to hurt.       “He is my friend, of course I have to blame myself. Would you just pat San on the shoulder if he confess feelings for Mingi, for example?”</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous.” Hongjoong dismissed the idea without really comprehending it. Mingi was his brother for God’s sake.        “Don’t talk shit now. But if <em>someone </em>screws San, then I’ll screw him three times worse.”  Hongjoong emphasized on the someone part.</p><p>“Its…. complicated.” Seonghwa shut down the entire topic and just leaned in with no warning, stealing a kiss from Hongjoong’s lips. The sudden decision made his heart flip and he pulled back from the other, throwing him a glare.        “Shut up.”</p><p>“What a nice way to shut me up, huh?” Hongjoong smiled at his mate as he pulled him for another kiss.</p><p> </p><p>***********************</p><p> </p><p>The time flew quickly for Hongjoong and when it was time to leave, he did it with heavy heart. Not because he was sentimental to the point that he was going to miss his parents, but for the light and easy atmosphere that surrounded their lands. It was so easy to breathe there. It was his home after all. He was never going to feel that attached to the Parks people or territory and he knew it. It was also easier to be closer with Seonghwa in his own house than when they were in the other’s mansion. He expected the relaxed posture of Seonghwa to go back to his usual tense self. Hongjoong shred no doubts on the matter and that’s why he tried to delay their leaving.</p><p>Eventually, their duty called. </p><p>They were expected to have their first fight in two days. Eden had called and summoned them for ‘<em>inspection</em>’. As if they were some rats which were being experimented on. But Hongjoong had enough of sense to know that it was for better. They had to at least practice once fighting together, beside one another in order to come up with a strategy. </p><p>Hongjoong swore that in his previous life he had been either warlock or at least fortune teller, because once they entered the premises of the Parks on the next day, and Seonghwa parked his bike, a delegation was waiting for them in the garden. </p><p>“How nice of you to finally come back home.” Just by the sight of his family waiting for them to get back ‘<em>home</em>’, something switched in Seonghwa and Hongjoong instantly felt it. And the look that Dara was giving them was more than enough of clue to make it clear that she did not appreciate them leaving in the first place. </p><p>“We were visiting my family. Should we have asked for permission to do so?” Hongjoong had to bit back his own tongue to stop himself from expressing his own mind further on how much he didn’t like the disregarding look the older woman was throwing at them.</p><p>“A little warning should have been enough.” Jia apologetically stepped in, trying to ease the situation a little. </p><p>“I’ll remember that for the next time when we decide to go somewhere.” Hongjoong winked at his sister-in-law. It was not like he had interacted with the Parks much since he’d kept to his own circle ever since his feet stepped into the house, but he liked Jia. She was not that bad actually. Sweet and easy-going. She was a good match for Chan and he kind of envied them for the relationship that they’d had. He’d seen them both on and off the ring. Their chemistry was intense and could not be easily ignored. But Hongjoong was certain that now that the things were slowly progressing between him and Seonghwa, soon they’d be at their level, if not even better. </p><p>He was positive on that matter… especially after their last couple of conversations and time spent together. </p><p>Seonghwa kept his mouth shut and didn’t even look at his mate while he was exchanging words with the two women. But the hand which wrapped around his waist was way too real for Hongjoong to ignore. Without words he was trying to tell him to stop this and just to move inside and take cover at their own floor where no one usually dared to come onto. </p><p>Just when Hongjoong was about to do as he was silently asked to - his brother and their keepers finally caught up to them. Hongjoong was suspicious of their behaviour these days as they were always leaving them alone, it was like they was conspiring together. Now, that was not something that would be surprising for San and Mingi .. but apparently they had let Yunho join their team.</p><p>Yunho instantly took side next to Seonghwa while still in his brownish wolf form. His eyes on the two women, as if he was trying to get them to back off. </p><p>And if that wasn’t sweet in Hongjoong’s eyes. </p><p>Seongwha’s other hand made it to Yunho’s furry head and squeezed one of his fluffy ears.   Hongjoong couldn’t stop observing every action that Seonghwa did… it was like he was mesmerized by him all the time. </p><p>Hongjoong was obsessing over his own mate and he knew it. </p><p>“Eden is waiting for you. You’d better come prepared this time,<em> son.</em>”  Dara’s cold words reached Hongjoong’s useless brain. He’d been that preoccupied by his own mate that he’d forgot that they were still outside and had crowd which was closely watching them, too. </p><p>Seonghwa stormed off right away.</p><p>Hongjoong didn’t have any other choice than to take his leave as well, following the taller male. </p><p>“Hongjoong…” Jia stepped in beside him while walking him in the direction of the basement. </p><p>Just a sentence by Dara was enough to rile up Seonghwa and that irritated the red-haired male. The feeling of being suffocated was back so soon that he wanted just to turn back, take his mate by the hand and lead him back to his own home. </p><p>It’d been so much easier there for the other. </p><p>“Yes, Jia?” </p><p>“I’d like to watch you two practice… would you mind?” The woman had a shy smile over her lips, eyes were even shining with interest. </p><p>“Do you miss fighting?” Being gentle was not the best character Hongjoong possessed. He knew what had happened to her, why she couldn’t participate in representing the family and defend their honor. She’d lost her pup and that probably was a big trauma.</p><p>“I can’t say no to that and you know it.”  Jia laughed easily. </p><p>“I suppose?” Hongjoong raised his eyebrows when they entered the basement. He heard an angry growl and his eyes immediately locked on his mate’s black wolf. </p><p>Had he mentioned that Seonghwa looked so damn magnificent in his wolf form? </p><p>If yes, then it was not enough. </p><p>He’d seen the other’s wolf only two times and it was so not enough. He wanted to appreciate the beauty that the other represented but right now it was not the best time for it. Images of them both running through thick forest, competing one another in hunting their target, unbothered by anything and anyone flashed in Hongjoong’s mind. </p><p>A small smile made on Hongjoong's lips by the thought of being free together. </p><p>“He’s a sight, isn’t he?” Jia interrupted him and got him out of his stupor as he’d stopped walking the moment he laid eyes on Seonghwa. </p><p>“He is.” He could not disagree with that statement. </p><p>“I hope you’ll make it tomorrow.” Jia patted him on the shoulder lightly and moved first, getting closer to the arena. She greeted Eden with a quick nod but did not voice out anything. </p><p>Yunho was on the ring as well, still in his wolf form and he carefully watched Hongjoong, as if he was expecting him to do or say something particularly. He really needed to get close to the guy, especially after the latest piece of information that Seonghwa shared with him. </p><p>“Hongjoong did you ever shift in front of Seonghwa?” Eden loudly asked making a gesture for him to get on the ring as well. </p><p>“No.” Just the sight of this person’s face irritated Hongjoong. Their last conversation did not end well and all. It was not like his piece of advice was not helpful or anything, it was just… Hongjoong disliked the guy sincerely. </p><p>“He will not attack you, don’t worry.” Eden assured him but then right away turned to Seonghwa’s wolf and sternly continued.      “We’ve discussed this, Seonghwa.”  </p><p>There was no reason for Hongjoong to listen to the speech that followed from the trainer, which was dedicated to the mate’s bond, the fighting techniques, and so on. </p><p>When Hongjoong shifted to his own wolf, he carefully watched his mate’s reaction to his form. He wanted to see the look of stunness on the other’s features… or at least some kind of interest flicking through Seonghwa's eyes. </p><p>What he saw however was a guarded posture - the wolf’s head was lowered, teeth jagged. The black wolf was snarling at Hongjoong while slowly backing away from him. </p><p>“Easy, boy. Easy.” Hongjoong heard the calm voice of their trainer. </p><p>Yunho took a protective stance couple of inches in front of Seonghwa. Why were they both reacting to Hongjoong in this way?</p><p>“Can’t you sense your own mate, Seonghwa?” The sweetly famine voice belonged to no one else but Jia, who also was on the ring on the other side of Eden. He looked at her disapprovingly, but said nothing. </p><p>Hongjoong ignored them both and just took a careful step closer to his mate.</p><p>His heart started beating quicker, his ears were surely flattened back from the way his mate suddenly treated him. As if he was not even recognizing Hongjoong. And it hurt. </p><p>They had such a progress back at his poorer home and now within a few minutes it was as if they were back to being strangers to one another. </p><p><em>Seonghwa</em>.. </p><p>The two people standing on their legs - Jia and Eden - watched how Hongjoong edged closer and closer while Seonghwa was only trying to shrink away and Yunho guarded him at it. Yet it was interesting how the golden fur on Hongjoong’s back was bristled. Most definitely from the reaction the other was giving him. </p><p>“Hongjoong calm down.” Eden directed at him. </p><p>And the pure white with golden cover wolf just lowered his head. He didn’t want to intimidate his mate, but the rejection that stormed out of him …  made Hongjoong eager to establish his position with Seonghwa. </p><p>Suddenly, he felt a snout brushing carefully at his side, sniffing him. </p><p>Seonghwa… </p><p>He had come closer after all. And not only did he scented Hongjoong, but also nuzzled his head into his neck. </p><p>From then on… it was easier. </p><p> </p><p>********************</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here here, new chapter for you!<br/>We are slowly revealing Seonghwa's troubling past and you will find everything about it soon!<br/>So read and enjoy and comment &lt;3 thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Frightening.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter 8.</b>
</p><p>The arena wasn’t frightening, but the sight of it created a huge mess inside of Seonghwa’s head. His resistance was making it hard for him to move his feet and he had his eyes down on his legs the entire way from behind the scenes to the red carpet leading to the ring. </p><p>It was captivating how the lights surrounding them were  illuminating both his and Hongjoong’s bodies and as he looked down, he looked at two magnificent shadows, walking side by side. </p><p>Seonghwa’s heart was bursting. His own shadow was towering over Hongjoong’s and he realized that he was the one walking towards the ring faster than his mate, who was probably thrilled to be there. It was the moment that Seonghwa had refused to live through. </p><p>His anxiety was making him shake and he couldn’t hear anything for a moment. Seonghwa's  ears were ringing dangerously, indicating that he wasn’t in a right state of self control. Seonghwa shook his head as if to shake the shock away, but it was pointless.</p><p>The crowd was chanting their names, he could hear them chanting for him and Hongjoong, some screamed the Jungs names. If he looked up, he was going to see many snobs, watching over them like they were piece of meat that was soon going to get torn apart. </p><p>And then something flipped within him, making his lungs breath in ice cold air. Frightening…. </p><p>The memory was there to cause nothing but chaos and pain. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He couldn’t understand their language, he could see their lips moving, but he had no idea what they were asking him to do. A whip pulled Seonghwa out of the daze and the skin that just got ripped from his back was only itching. The scariest thought that he had was that it stopped hurting. He counted. Seonghwa needed 20 whips to start feeling. He needed his limbs to get twisted so he could start screaming. </em>
</p><p>‘<em>Come on, alpha. Are you going to admit that you are worthless? What kind of an alpha winces to few scratches?’  The nasty face of the same man appeared in front of his eyes. Seonghwa recognized the small angry red eyes. He was dreaming about them every night, nightmare after nightmare. </em></p><p>
  <em>He had no idea how he was even sane after what that man had done to him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was one thing that crossed his mind though. Seonghwa wanted to kill him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seonghwa was going to kill him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Another whip crossed his face this time, ripping his nose and lips apart. He smiled, spitting blood right at the man’s face as the wildness filled his heart with rage and the silver chains that were tightly wrapped around his wrists didn’t bother him that much. Seonghwa was about to transform, but the pain was about to stop once that he had his canines ripping holes onto that bastard’s neck. </em>
</p><p>‘<em>What’s the matter, are you angry?’  The man asked, swapping the black whip into his other hand and swung it, hitting Seonghwa on the face one more time. </em></p><p>
  <em>This time Seonghwa saw red. This time he needed seconds to engulf the burning pain and transform, his bones cracking, his fur wrapping around his body and he dropped down on his four, attacking the bastard with one jump. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Screams. He heard one screaming rogue, but his voice died out into Seonghwa’s muzzle. His teeth ripped the person in the count of three seconds, and then the sharp penetrating edge of a knife cut slit his skin, stabbed him above the ribs and the next thing that he felt was the silver chain, wrapping around his neck with dangerous force. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He killed someone. No, Seonghwa finally killed his nightmare. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Seonghwa growled lowly under his breath. The memory was playing with his mind. He felt the pang of his heart on the second that he touched the metal gate of the arena and his hand shook dangerously against the handle. </p><p>In the next moment his dazzled sight spotted Hongjoong, who was looking at him with determination. He was brave, Seonghwa knew. He could trust Hongjoong if he couldn’t trust himself. </p><p>Seonghwa wanted to say something, he wanted to turn around and leave, but then he saw them. His family, taking their seats on the first roll. He spotted Chan, Jia, TaecYeon and then Dara. He saw Eden there too, and Eden was the only one whose eyes looked worried. Even Chan was just looking around, oblivious of his shaken up brother who was about to fight for the first time.</p><p>He couldn’t. Seonghwa couldn’t do that again. </p><p>Hongjoong’s hand wrapped around his and Seonghwa looked back at him, gulping the big lump that stuck in his throat. His mouth was dry, but at least his sight wasn’t blurred anymore. </p><p>His instinct made him lean in, he had no idea why he seeked for protection, for affection in a moment like that, but his lips sank into Hongjoong’s ones and he kissed him briefly, letting his emotions explode into Hongjoong’s mouth. </p><p>A moment after he pulled back, noticing the mischievous look into Hongjoong’s eyes. Before Seonghwa could even say anything, the owner of the Arena started talking, presenting the territory that was selected for the fight and named the Jungs first, since they were the ones asking for this fight. </p><p>Just then Seonghwa knew that once he opened the door, there was no going back. He gulped again, following the figures of Yunho and San with his eyes, who stepped at their corner and prepared towels, water and everything that they would need in the breaks of the fight. </p><p>If there were any. </p><p>The fact that this whole thing could go south frightened Seonghwa. His eyes closed and he pushed the handle, stepping up at the ring first. Hongjoong followed as the crowd of people chanted their names again, but the moment when Seonghwa saw two brown wolves standing on the other side of the ring, having their keepers on the edge as well, made him realize that the fight was happening. </p><p>It was happening too fast. </p><p>“There will be several rounds, until a winner is selected or one of the alpha couples give up.”  The fancy asshole speaking on a microphone started mentioning the rules and Seonghwa thought that he still had time to leave. </p><p>His eyes locked at the door and he bit his lip, trying to fight the anxiety. It wasn’t just in his heart, it already engulfed his soul, his mind. Seonghwa felt like something was squeezing his stomach and promised to bust. </p><p>Seonghwa was sure that if one of the Jungs attacked him, he was going to kill him. </p><p>Because that was what his wolf was forced to do. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>‘<em>Do you see your freedom, alpha?’</em></p><p>
  <em>Seonghwa did see it. It was behind a black door. In front of the door stood a man. A man holding a gun. The gun couldn’t kill him, nor the knives that three others were holding. He was calculating the jumps that he had to take, the bites that he had to do in order to get out. Seonghwa could still transform into his human body, despite the broken hip bone and his twisted wrist. He didn’t feel pain. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He jumped for the kill, seeing red in front of his eyes. He could escape, he just had to kill. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seonghwa had to kill the one talking to him, as well.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hongjoong had already switched into his wolf, pushing his big white head under Seonghwa’s palm. He was impatient, stepping from paw to paw, his ears perked and eyes shining beautifully at him. Seonghwa’s mind got back into the Arena and he frowned, caressing his mate before taking a step aside from him. </p><p>The panic increased once that he started switching, his bones cracking until he readjusted each part of his body into the black alpha, who’s biggest nightmare was about to start. </p><p>Hongjoong’s golden back was shining under the lamp at the center of the ring and just then Seonghwa started to hesitate. His ears flattened to the back of his head and he made a step back instead of taking his place next to his mate. The two Jung wolves moved closer to Hongjoong and the fight was about to officially start in a second, but Seonghwa was still standing next to the door, eyes frantically staring at everyone. </p><p>He saw hundred faces, he saw hundred strangers, his family, his keeper. Seonghwa's claws started ripping the ground as he tried to keep himself on spot, some piercing sound echoed through the crowd and he shuddered in fear. </p><p>The Jungs attacked right away, claws and canines trying to approach Hongjoong, but his bigger form swiftly avoid the attacks, knocking the smaller brown Jung alpha to the side as he started attacking the other one. Hongjoong was fast like a bullet, his white and golden body jumping onto the wolf’s back, biting a piece of skin. The other alpha whimpered and his mate got back on his feet, ready to attack. </p><p>Seonghwa’s claws dug into the ground dangerously and he started seeing red again. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘<em>Come on alpha, the door is right there’  The voice was speaking from outside the room, Seonghwa figured. He was once again, tricked. His body shook, limbs too tired to move, several wounds on his body were open, he couldn’t breath, but he still felt nothing. Nothing but the fear of what he had done. </em></p><p>
  <em>He was laying on the ground, right in front of that door, surrounded by corpses. The ones that he killed. Seonghwa was tricked. There was no way out of that room.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa’s head lowered as if he heard something, he didn’t want to look, because if he did, his primitive need to protect his mate was going to make him go berserk. The thought of death was making his body shake and he had no idea why, but he couldn’t even move. </p><p>It was a numbness caused by fear. </p><p>The anxiety messed up his mind and he didn’t think of Hongjoong at all for a moment there. He just wanted to run. He wanted to get out of that fucked up cage. Seonghwa couldn’t be locked up, because that meant that he had to kill so he could get out. </p><p>Kill. Kill. The Jungs. Kill. </p><p>What about Hongjoong? Who was going to help him? </p><p>The instinct to protect sobered Seonghwa up and his stiffen body winced as he moved, looking up again. </p><p>The crowd suddenly started cheering and Seonghwa got startled. </p><p>What the fuck just happened? </p><p>He looked around, ears perked and his tail wiggled nervously. </p><p>And then he saw him. Hongjoong, standing in the middle of the ring, the two Jungs snuggled together at their corner, weeping and licking their wounds. Their keepers were helping them to clean up and the jury had already decided. </p><p>Seonghwa and Hongjoong from the Park clan had been announced as <em>winners</em>. </p><p>Hongjoong’s sharp eyes locked with Seonghwa’s confused stare and the other breathed out madly. His white fur had several red spots indicating that he was hurt. Hongjoong was hurt and angry. </p><p>Seonghwa had never felt more disappointed in himself. He heard the metal door opening behind him, but he couldn’t give a damn about it anymore. The realization that he just left his mate fight alone against two struck him like lightning. </p><p>He betrayed Hongjoong, showing him that he couldn’t count on his own mate in times like this. Showing him how weak and selfish Seonghwa was, letting his own fears take advantage of his sanity. </p><p>He let someone hurt his mate, and Hongjoong wasn’t even pissed about that. </p><p>What Seonghwa saw in Hongjoong’s eyes was the feeling that he had in himself right now. It was like a mirror, reflecting the coward who just backed away from a fight. </p><p>Hongjoong was disappointed. And there was nothing more frightening for Seonghwa. </p><p> </p><p>********************</p><p> </p><p>“The hell was that, Seonghwa?”  Hongjoong raised his voice at his mate once they were lead back to the backroom where their belongings were waiting for them. Yunho and San were already there when they stepped in. What irritated Hongjoong even more was the worried look that Yunho had on his face when he glanced at Seonghwa. </p><p>“Stop, just don’t fucking talk to me.” Seonghwa hissed back at Hongjoong, bringing his hands up to his head as he tried to block the loud voice of the angry alpha, only to anger him even more. Instead of apologizing, Seonghwa left the scene with no words, not giving zero fucks about the people who stood on his way as he just wanted to leave the scene and try handling his madness.</p><p>Seonghwa couldn’t do that when there were so many people around. </p><p>“You just stood there. You didn’t even move.” Hongjoong’s disbelief was more than evident. He’d seen Seonghwa on the move against Yunho and Eden - and he was not shy with them. He’d been attacking them like nothing else mattered, even going for Yunho’s neck the first time when he’d witnessed him on the ring. And the one time when Seonghwa had to actually act like that, he just stood there - by the door, as the biggest coward in the world. </p><p>His mate was not a coward. </p><p>Hongjoong did not have a spiritless and cowardly mate. He refused to believe it. </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes rolled at him and he felt how something exploded in his chest as he kept seeing the same thing written in Hongjoong’s eyes. The disappointment, the anger, the clear failed expectations. Hongjoong didn’t need a fucking coward next to himself on the ring, but he wasn’t going to get anything more than that and the fact was making Seonghwa go beyond crazy. </p><p>He reached out and punched the wall, turning towards Hongjoong to express the fucking anger that was burning his chest right after they actually won the fight, not thanks to Seonghwa. </p><p>“This is what you’re gonna fucking deal with. I can’t.”  He threw his hands in the air, admitting the truth.           “I’m out. I can’t do this.”</p><p>“You’re not going anywhere.” Hongjoong snarled at his mate and grabbed him by the elbow when he actually attempted of leaving. </p><p>The fuck. Hongjoong’s blood was boiling. He clearly saw the amused smirks that followed them on the way from the arena down the stairs to the back rooms… it was humiliating. He had not won the fight only to be pitied and laughed at. </p><p>He’d not mated for that.</p><p>Hongjoong could handle the fightings all alone, he’d prepared himself exactly for that when Seonghwa told him he didn’t want to fight in the first place. But he had not predicted the anger which will follow when those judging eyes were following them as preys. </p><p>It didn’t matter that a Kim could fight off two wolves at once and win the fight within a few minutes, taking minor damages while the others were shattered and weeping. </p><p>No, the thing that mattered for everyone that watched was that a Park wolf could not handle the sight of the fight in the first place. The memory of Seonghwa’s scrunched form by the metal cage, not daring to take even a step further was twisting Hongjoong's insides in pure rage. </p><p>“You should calm down.” San was beside him and trying to ease him up, but that only triggered him further. </p><p>“Leave us alone.” Hongjoong dismissed his keeper. </p><p>Yunho shook his head from the side, watching how Seonghwa took a wrong turn and pulled his arm back, taking his final decision. </p><p>“If I say that I can’t do this, it means that I fucking can’t, do you understand me?” Seonghwa raised his voice as well, something twisting in his stomach as he actually started yelling at Hongjoong a moment after.            “If you can’t take it, maybe you can rip your fucking mark off me and find someone who can fight. I can’t do this shit.”</p><p>“Take it easy.” Yunho tried as well, but that only enraged Seonghwa as he looked at him skeptically, his eyes burning with anger. </p><p>“You know what I’d do...”</p><p>“But you had no time, Hongjoong is strong.” Yunho cut him off. </p><p>“Next time he might be struggling.”  Seonghwa kept yelling, this time at his keeper as if the other two weren’t even there.           “It’s instinct, Yunho, how do you fucking hold that one back?”</p><p>“Let him guide you, you stubborn prick.” Yunho pushed something on his way, looking as pissed as Seonghwa was himself and he made his way out of the room first. </p><p>“You should lower your voices as it’s not only us here.” San who was the only one who actually thought about their surroundings voiced out. It was enough what the whole audience had seen, but for the participants of the fightings to actually overhear them arguing between one another was only going to be one more sign of their weak points. That would only lead to more challenges. </p><p>“Let them… it’s clear Seonghwa wants to talk with his keeper more than his own mate.”  Hongjoong snarled once again when he stepped away from them and sat down at the bench in the room. His hands were in fists. He really wanted to continue physical fighting, so he could pour out every bit of rage that he had in himself. </p><p>“Joong, shut up.” San fired back when the door opened and Eden went inside with a solemn expression on his face. </p><p>“Get out.”  Eden's words were directed to Seonghwa. The alpha looked up from his sweaty bangs, his eyes narrowing at his trainer.        “Yunho is waiting in his car.”</p><p>Seonghwa sighed, throwing Eden a disapproving look but didn’t argue at all, submitting in front of him as he once again retreated. His legs lead him to the door, but as he passed Eden by, his shoulder knocked off the other alpha, showing his bad manners even when he was actually trying to do as he was told. </p><p>Eden waited for the door to shut on the loudest way Seonghwa could pull off and then sighed, rubbing his forehead.          “You are challenged. By five clans. Five.”</p><p>Hongjoong pressed his lips tight. His nails ripped the skin of his fisted palms by the strength he was squeezing them.           “It’s to be expected.” He remembered the looks they were thrown… as if they were wounded preys, ready to be eaten. </p><p>As if Hongjoong was going to ever let someone touch him or Seongwha. </p><p>“We had to train more. Seonghwa had to get used to me… I had to insist on that more.” Hongjoong banged his fists on the bench, barely keeping himself from jumping on Eden.         “But no… you had to keep us apart. And the biggest advise? Fuck and everything will be okay? What kind of trainer are you exactly?” Hongjoong finally voiced out his opinion on the other. He had insisted on them practicing together from day one, but the older guy just trained Seonghwa alone. He did not even consider the thought that they might not be compatible together as a fighting couple. And why would anyone worry about that? The Parks only let them mate because they were the ones who needed a fighter like Hongjoong. </p><p>And that stung even more the hurt pride of the red haired one. </p><p>Hongjoong was doing the opposite of what he’d mated for. Instead of proving everyone that they had to think twice before attacking his people, now they’d only provoke them more. He was disappointed in both himself and Seonghwa. </p><p>“The moment when Seonghwa switched to his wolf form, was when he got into a fucking mating cycle. Imagine how much he wanted to feel everything else but the will to fight.” Eden started, his eyes glinting with something as he stared at Hongjoong, not even minding San’s presence in the room. He rubbed his face with his hands, hesitating for a moment and then as he slid them down, a frown was printed on his features.         “Seonghwa is detached from his wolf for a reason. He can’t even recognize your smell, he confessed this to me. You know that this is not normal, right? You are a smart boy, Hongjoong, didn’t you notice that something is off with your mate?”</p><p>“Don’t patronize me.” Hongjoong raised his voice and stood on his legs.     “He is weird, it’s clear. But that doesn’t mean he is useless. I’ve seen him with you… Seonghwa can fight.” His thoughts were a mess. </p><p>“Seonghwa …” Eden raised his voice back at Hongjoong, not minding their status or their positions in the hierarchy. His words were loud and clear before, but his next words were spoken lowly as if he was scared of someone’s presence nearby that room.         “Seonghwa was my strongest student. Imagine this, winning over an older alpha who had years of training. Chan is a good fighter, but his brother used to beat his ass like its a game. It’s gone now, Seonghwa doesn’t remember that time because he is frightened.”  Eden paused, as if considering confessing more and his eyes left Hongjoong’s face.           “If I tell you why, you must promise me something.”</p><p>From what Eden said so far, Hongjoong’s mood from angry went to confused in matter of seconds. His mate was frightened? </p><p>“What do you want me to promise you? It’s not like I’d go and fuck Seonghwa over. He is my mate for God’s sake.” It felt wrong to ask Eden to tell him when Seonghwa had told him that someday he’d willingly do it. But right now Hongjoong needed to know the reasons behind Seonghwa’s unreasonable behaviour.</p><p>Eden sighed, looking back at him seriously. His eyes didn’t give out any emotion, but his posture was stiffen, like he was a statue. </p><p>“Promise me that you will teach him instead. How to fight, how to control, how to be your mate.”  He said, knowing that Hongjoong’s stubbornness and instincts would attack him with verbal threats for even daring doubting him. So Eden hurried up to keep his speech up without leaving Hongjoong to argue with him.          “Yunho and Seonghwa had went to the Northern territory, just to scout and run."  Eden started the story.       "They used to take laps on long distances because that was making them feel free. Just one fucking time, they had crossed the border absently and Yunho couldn’t coupe with Seonghwa’s speed.”</p><p>The way Eden started his story was way too melancholic which only indicated that what was going to follow was not going to be any fun. Hongjoong wanted to push the other to skip the useless information and just to jump on the important stuff, but the look on the other’s face was too... concerned. His eyes shifted on San who also obviously had perked his ears to listen carefully to what the older apha was about to share. </p><p>“There were <em>rogues</em> outside our territory, scouting the area as well.”  Eden said, his eyes already distant like he wasn’t in that room but somewhere else. He shook his head.         “When rogues see alpha alone in a forest, it’s like they found a rabbit in a rabbit hole. They took Seonghwa, some of them keeping Yunho away, he had said that he had tried to reach them. When Yunho came back to the mansion, I’ve never seen a keeper looking that devastated in my whole life. Dara, Taecyeon, they took the news as termination. I hate…. I hate that day, because it made me see how a family took the news of their lost son.” He looked up and faced Hongjoong.           “Chan ran off with some members of the clan, Taecyeon, he…”</p><p>“What did they do to him?” Hongjoong forced himself to ask. He’d heard such stories from Mr. Choi … but they were only stories from the old times. When alliances were not yet formed, when clans were not that strong in protecting themselves. It was nonsense to hear that this actually happened recently, at least for Hongjoong. Not when they had strong society. <br/>His insides were twisting and burning and he felt nauseous just by his accommodating imagination. Scenes from Mr. Choi’s stories started playing in Hongjoong's mind and Seonghwa was the main character… he wanted to throw up right away. </p><p>“The rogues twisted him.” Eden replied, rubbing his forehead again.         “Tortured. The state that Chan had brought Seonghwa back was devastating. His wolf looked wild, not recognizing me or his family. Chan had cuts, I’ve never asked if it was because of the fight that he had with the rogues or his own rogue brother.”</p><p>“Stop.” Hongjoong’s voice not louder than a whisper but it was sufficient in shutting Eden. </p><p>The need to have Seonghwa by his side right that instant washed over him like a tsunami. His mate had been in distress and Hongjoong hadn’t even acknowledged it, instead he had made it worse with his own anger. He’d said so many things that were unfair … he’d called Seonghwa weakling even. Hongjoong wanted to smash his own head against the wall. </p><p>“We had small progresses after weeks of trying to approach Seonghwa. I risked my life without doubt that I would succeed, because I had no pity.”  Eden continued his story, not minding that Hongjoong needed time to come in terms with what he was sharing with him and San.         “Then I took him back in the wild, where he was free and forced him to find a reason to live. I guess Seonghwa had something, because he didn’t let himself drown like a weakling. Hongjoong, this person was forced to kill, this is the only thing that I know. Fighting on the Arena is just bringing back these memories and only someone stronger than me can fight the fears that Seonghwa has. You. You can handle it, because you won’t pity him.”</p><p>And Hongjoong wanted Seonghwa to fight. He was grossed by his own egoistic needs when Seonghwa... he really couldn’t take it. The red haired wasn’t sure if he could hear anything else from Eden’s story. Because it was like a stab after stab to his chest. He’d asked Seonghwa about his reasons, but at the time he doubted that he’d even consider them. Now though, not only did he consider them when he knew about what the other had went though, but actually felt as the biggest fool in the whole world. </p><p>Too many feelings were attacking Hongjoong at once that he couldn’t even differentiate them. </p><p>He knew one thing though. </p><p>He wanted Seonghwa. No, he <em>needed</em> the other. </p><p>So without waiting for the rest of the story… he just ran.</p><p> </p><p>******************</p><table>
<colgroup>
<col/> <col/> </colgroup>
<tbody>
<tr>
<td> </td>
<td> </td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table><p>The mansion was quiet that night. Seonghwa stated that he doesn’t want to see anyone, even his parents, even Chan or Jia. He refused to talk, and it wasn’t like his family expected different of him.</p><p>When the anger and the fear left his body, Seonghwa realized that what he did that night was to prove Dara that he was weak. That he couldn’t endure the madness, he couldn’t trust himself and he let his mate win for their clan. </p><p>Seonghwa let Hongjoong get hurt. </p><p>The state of his mind recovered fast, Seonghwa needed one shower and five minutes alone to go back to his rational way of thinking. The stress was big, but he had faced worse times in the past and taught himself when to stop and how to recover. But intense moments or pressure were playing mad games with him and he felt regret for saying some of the things that he yelled at Hongjoong’s face. </p><p>He looked at the mirror and saw himself - his black hair damp, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes glaring at the person there. There was nothing different in his reflection and maybe that was going to be a problem in the future. </p><p>Seonghwa had to change again, but that step seemed impossible. Like there was a bear trap waiting for him to put his foot so it could cut it on half. And it wasn’t fair, because the deal was sealed, Seonghwa's agreement to be a part of the whole fucking process and fighting on the arena, was his own fault. </p><p>Hongjoong wasn’t guilty that Seonghwa was having trust issues directed to himself. He just had to give him time, and they had none of that. </p><p>The door of the room opened and Seonghwa didn’t look back, instead he let the fresh scent of roses and rain fill up his soul and cure the rest of his worries. But the sight of the still uncleaned wound on Hongjoong’s bare arms was making him feel uneasy and he turned around, ready to voice out his agitation by the sight. </p><p>“Why didn’t you go to…”</p><p>“Can I hold you for a moment?” Hongjoong cut him off. He had taken his time on the way to their shared home. He realized that there is no point in putting more pressure over the taller, naked, only covered in towel - <em>what a sight-</em> mate of his. Even if Hongjoong's mind remained restless, at least his anger was out of his system. The only thing that mattered was to make sure that Seonghwa was alright and safe. And the only way to convince himself in that was to hold him close and keep them there. </p><p>Yet the shorter one did not make any move to close the distance between them. He let Seonghwa to choose on his own behalf whether he was going to get to him or not. He deserved that.</p><p>Seonghwa stared dumbly at Hongjoong, oblivious to what he wanted to achieve with his question. But his heart made several flips at once and he sucked in a deep breath, feeling like the biggest loser. </p><p>He didn’t step forward, just frowned at Hongjoong. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to yell like a freak, just the…” Seonghwa started blabbing almost instantly, knowing that the anxiety was slowly sliding back into him, but ignored it.        “.....the whole thing… It’s not your fault, I wanted to let you know. You did good, you…” Seonghwa almost skipped the brief fight, but it didn’t matter.           “... you did great.”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter.” Hongjoong could not look away from Seonghwa, his heart clenched. What Seonghwa was saying was just too much for him. He was saying what everyone else saw - that they won but he did not contribute. It didn’t matter anymore to Hongjoong though. He couldn’t care less about that.        “Come here.” He demanded softly at the other. </p><p>Seonghwa sighed. It wasn’t a direct order, so he didn’t feel like disobeying. He stepped closer to Hongjoong, approaching him slowly, as if every step that he was taking was in slow motion. He was winning time, in which he wanted to understand what Hongjoong was thinking. </p><p>The fact that he was so mysterious for Seonghwa all the time was usually intimidating, but this time he really wanted to understand what hid behind that sulking posture and deep brown eyes. </p><p>His hands placed on Hongjoong’s face and he kept frowning, staring at the disturbed expression on his mate’s pretty features. Seonghwa realized that something was wrong, <em>everything was wrong</em>, and Hongjoong wasn’t happy about fighting for the first time. Seonghwa ruined it for him. </p><p>“Is it stupid to ask you what’s wrong?”  He asked, rubbing small circles over the soft cheeks of Hongjoong. The action itself was nothing too much, nothing too bold, but it felt so intimate that his insides warmed up almost instantly.          “You look sad. Are you upset?”</p><p>Hongjoong could not take the look Seonghwa was giving him, because he felt like betrayer, like a cheater. Hence he removed that obstacle when he pushed the black haired one’s hands from his face, only so he could nuzzle his nose in Seonghwa's collarbones, filling his lungs of the other’s scent. Hongjoong expected the calming effect, he welcomed it, earned for it, but right now it only made his head messier than a few minutes ago when he was lingering outside, thinking about a subtle way to get inside their room. </p><p>Small hands wrapped around Seonghawa’s chest and locked on his back, so tight that the action was actually uncomfortable. But Hongjoong needed it. </p><p>“You’re safe. You’re with me.” He didn’t even know he was talking until the words were out of his mouth.       “I don’t want you to fight ever again. It’s okay. No matter how many challenges come, how many letters … I’ll fight for you.” Hongjoong's eyes were burning at that point. </p><p>Hongjoong remembered the way the black wolf had stood beside that iron door…. he remembered the crazy look in Seonghwa's eyes, as if he was counting his chances of running away. But he’d stayed. And even though that everyone else, including himself, thought that he looked like a kicked puppy who didn’t know what he was doing on the arena in the first place - now when Hongjoong knew the background of Seonghwa's behaviour, he knew better.        “You were brave today. <em>You </em>did great, Seonghwa.” His nose brushed against the mark he’d left there so many nights ago… and this was the first time he felt proud of himself for doing it. </p><p>Seonghwa’s frown was permanent, but his whole posture stiffened almost instantly. He had no idea if he was even breathing, but the burning feeling in his chest wasn’t coming from the lack of air, for sure. It was a reminder that something unexpected had happened in his absence and he wasn’t given a chance to stop it. </p><p>The small panic that threatened to slip inside his mixed feelings made him frustrated. Seonghwa had no idea what to do with his hands, his fists clenched, unclenched, then wrapped around Hongjoong and he hugged him frantically, his nose burying in Hongjoong’s red hair. </p><p>“What the fuck did Eden tell you?” He asked evenly, trying to calm down with Hongjoong’s scent, but the anxiety made him sick and his eyes started roaming around the room behind the other, as if trying to find a distraction.          “Did he tell you ….. <em>everything</em>? Why the fuck would he do that.”</p><p>Hongjoong took a deep breath, trying to come up with something to Seonghwa’s questions. He knew it was not right of him finding out such a thing from 3rd person, but he was also glad that it was not Seonghwa the one who told him. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to take it like that. </p><p>“That you…” He took another deep breathe in from Seonghwa’s scent.      “... you were taken.”  He summarized the whole story that Eden had dropped onto him like a bomb. Hongjoong didn’t even want to repeat everything that Eden had said. It was too much, descriptive of Seonghwa’s state afterwards.             “I’m so sorry, Hwa.” He tried to press down the hard gulp that he had as it was almost choking him.      “I’m so sorry.” He chanted out. </p><p>Seonghwa was fighting his need to push back Hongjoong and leave. The tempting idea to jump out of the balcony, shift into his wolf and run away was getting stronger, but Hongjoong’s arms were strongly holding him on place, as if he predicted that Seonghwa would decide to leave. </p><p>And then as if a magic stick hammered him, Seonghwa felt as if all feelings left his body, all at once. The deep air that he took filled up his lungs, just like that moment when he swam up from the sea, scared to drown and willing to give himself a second chance. </p><p>Suddenly, Seonghwa realized that he had his second chance. </p><p>Seonghwa pushed Hongjoong back, enough so he could look at his face and let the realization leave a mark into his fucked up brain. His second chance was here, there was nothing wrong if Hongjoong <em>knew</em>. </p><p>Eden wasn’t exposing secrets just to humiliate him, Seonghwa thought about it briefly, while trailing his eyes all over Hongjoong’s pretty features, noticing how disturbed and innocent he looked right now. </p><p>“It’s weird.”  He said, deciding that the last thing that he wanted right now was to upset his mate more than he did for one night.           “I feel like I can understand you better when you feel bad. That’s stupid and out of topic, but I just have no idea how to keep talking when I know that if I don’t say it all out now, I won’t let you bring this up ever again.”</p><p>“Do we need alcohol to make it easier for you to talk clearer?”  Hongjoong forced a small laugh at the other. Seonghwa’s confused trail of thoughts were about to bring even further confusion to Hongjoong and that only remained him how cute he thought Seonghwa looked while being in that state when he’d told him about Yunho and Eden. </p><p>The red haired one blamed the bond that made him so weak in the knees for his mate. </p><p>Seonghwa sighed, releasing Hongjoong from his hold only to offer something more relaxing - a weed roll, that was resting on his night stand. </p><p>“After what happened the last time… I’ll not deny. But not in the bedroom.” Hongjoong pointed at the balcony and lead the other on their expensive lounge. Once they were comfortably sitting, almost lying on the couch, Hongjoong nestled between Seonghwa’s legs with his back leaned on the taller’s chest. </p><p>The black haired one lightened the cigarette, he took a drag and quickly passed it to Hongjoong to do the same. </p><p>While Hongjoong was smoking, Seonghwa wrapped his arms around him silently, resting his chin against the other’s shoulder as he stared forward at the scenery, watching over the crescent, the clouds that moved slowly, night-birds playing songs in the background. It was almost romantic if they weren’t smoking weed on the balcony with Seonghwa’s towel unwrapped and leaving him nearly naked. </p><p>Seonghwa ignored the details and sighed, leaving Hongjoong to intoxicate himself as much as he wanted. </p><p>“I wanna explain myself only. Not dig into the fucking past, because it reminds me that I just had no idea how to endure it and be smarter. I could leave that place by myself, probably if I had you.”  Seonghwa started thinking, searching for facts, memories, reasons of why he let that rogue brainwash him and fill him up with dark thoughts of being forgotten, abandoned, useless for his clan. </p><p>The rogue was offering him things that Seonghwa had never mentioned to anyone, and he was so close to accepting the offer, just to stop the torture. It was good to see Chan at his darkest moment, even though Seonghwa had attacked his brother and ran away. He needed a day to realize that he wasn’t locked up anymore and the one who chased after him was his brother and not <em>them</em>. </p><p>As a werewolf, Seonghwa's mind was able to heal too, but the process was too slow. It left a mark that he was trying to erase desperately. </p><p>“I  needed a solution. But there was nothing there. If I had someone to think of, maybe I would have found my way out faster.” Seonghwa continued the trail of thoughts in order, realizing that  he was talking to Hongjoong like he was someone who was already important to him. His past was the only thing that Seonghwa had fears of, and including Hongjoong in it meant that there was nothing to hide anymore. He wanted Hongjoong to understand him, so they could move on together. If Eden decided to go against Seonghwa’s orders, maybe the alpha just felt like it was time.          </p><p>“What happened there was….”  Seonghwa pulled back a bit and picked the weed from Hongjoong, taking a long pull from it. When he blew the smoke, his vision swirled for a moment.         “The rogues broke my bones, whipped me, talked shit, to the point where I stopped feeling. I was just thinking of that fucking door and what I had to do in order to reach it and leave. And then he started bringing more rogues, he let me kill them them all, I had no idea how many I've killed, honestly. I had no idea how long I’ve been there as well. But when I saw that fucking ring today, the cage…My mind just lead me back to that room and the killings and … if I ever fight, I’m gonna kill my opponents. Its better for me to be called a coward than being called a lunatic. A killer. <em>Rogue</em>. That would hurt more.”</p><p>Hongjoong was grateful for the piece of mind that Seongwha was providing him when he’d chosen how to sit together, because if Hongjoong was staring at his face while listening about what he’d had to endure … then he wasn’t sure what he’d do. </p><p>The only act of support Hongjoong could offer was to rub his palms against the other’s bare thighs which were on his sides. He remained quiet.</p><p>“It’s time for more rules.”  Seonghwa spoke again, his voice was serious. He was thinking that if Hongjoong was aware of his fears now, they needed to find another solution. </p><p><em>Together</em>. </p><p>“I’m all ears.” Hongjoong replied. He remembered the first conversation about rules, and he did not approve them, so he kind of feared what Seonghwa was about to say. So he only lifted his hand, in silent plea for his mate to pass him the weed. </p><p>He did that and put his chin back on Hongjoong’s shoulder. It was hard to make decisions after such an eventful night, after so many emotions were bumping into both of them like waves. But they probably needed to get over this so they could stand again after the fall and appear stronger. </p><p>“I don’t want you to get hurt again.”  Seonghwa said, tracing one of the wounds that Hongjoong had on his left arm, a long cut caused by one of the Jungs.        “So you need to get your guards up. Eden is good in teaching defence, I am sure that you’ve lived through other attacks as well, but I wasn’t there to watch you bleed then. I want you to be stronger <em>now</em>.”</p><p>Hongjoong was once again stunned by his mate. Seonghwa was concerned about him. He showed affection. He cared. The emotional rollercoaster that he’d taken tonight was making him weaker and he wasn’t sure if he could even find any excuse for it. </p><p>Hongjoong was overwhelmed. </p><p>With the fight and the anger that followed. With what Eden told him about Seonghwa’s past. </p><p>By Seonghwa himself. </p><p>Hongjoong felt liquid run through his fingers and he quickly retracted his right hand as his eyes noticed the blood which was sliding over Seonghwa’s thigh. He had cut Seonghwa’s skin with his fingernails from the intense emotions that were bursting into him and he didn’t even notice what’d been doing. Yet, Hongjoong kept being silent and let his mate talk.</p><p>“And I will train as well. Maybe if we have a strategy like…”  Seonghwa said thoughtfully. He acknowledged the pain, but chose to play as if Hongjoong wasn’t actually gripping him with such frustration that his small fingers were abusing, trying to grip over something. He couldn’t see Hongjoong’s face anymore, but that way was better for both of them. Until they calmed down.        “.... I can distract the opponents, let them chase after me and you pick them one by one. I won’t attack, I will mislead them. We should talk about it with Eden tomorrow.”  He said, moving his hands from their safe place in front of Hongjoong’s stomach and let them touch Hongjong’s thighs slowly.          “Relax, I know it's hard to suck it up for one night, but it’s over. Now you know. We can move on, for real.”</p><p>Hongjoong rejected the idea of overthinking anymore. He couldn’t take anymore of what Seonghwa was throwing at him. He was not used to that… side of him? He was too concerned, too gentle even when he was speaking about his own pain. </p><p>The red haired one was a mess. </p><p>“We can move on?” he asked, a hopeful flame burning in him.</p><p>Seonghwa nodded, pulling his head back, only to leave a kiss on the side of Hongjoong’s head.         “I’m not weak. Not dead as well, so you shouldn’t pity me. If you ever see me freak out again, just remind me this.”</p><p> That was it. Hongjoong could not take it any longer. He twisted in Seonghwa’s hands, threw the weed in whatever direction, and fully laid over the oher’s chest. </p><p>“I really meant it when I said that I’ll fight for both of us.” Hongjoong started and he really hoped his voice did not sound so wavered to Seonghwa’s ears as it did to his own.         “But I will not lie, Seonghwa… what I want the most right now… is for everyone to see who you are.”  He could not stop himself from continuing though, even when his eyes unfocused from Seonghwa’s face with that annoying burning in them again.        “I want everyone to know who <em>my mate </em>is. How brave he is. How magnificent he is.”  He placed a gentle kiss over Seonghwa’s lips, just a simple touch, really.       “How proud I am that I am your mate.” </p><p>A silence followed as the crashing waves against the rocks below their mansion, was the only thing that Seonghwa could hear. He had no idea why Hongjoong stopped talking to him, but his own words stuck up in his throat. He was holding his breath back for a moment, deciding to let it out just when Hongjoong stopped talking. </p><p>And then Seonghwa stared into these sparkling brown eyes that reflected his own confused face, and his heart sunk to the bottom of the sea. He wished he could be at the cliff now, jump down and let the water take him in, welcome him in the darkness and show him what was the right thing to do. </p><p>Seonghwa was letting his heart lead, through all the hard times, all the terrifying moments, it wasn’t his will that was strong, his nature or whatever else made him who he was. It was just that misleading feeling in his chest that was showing him the right way when he couldn’t even think straight. </p><p>Just a muscle, but still the only part of him that made everything real. </p><p>Seonghwa wanted to trust it again tonight, but it would be selfish to talk about feelings when he was going through a hard time and accepted Hongjoong’s warm personality to guide him through the darkness. </p><p>Seonghwa figured that he was possibly out of the hole that he dig for himself when he fell for Wooyoung. The realization that he had never even mentioned who he really was in front of Wooyoung, only proved  how stupid and selfish he was, blindly falling for someone, just because he wanted to be special to someone. It was the only time that Seonghwa's heart betrayed him and let him hurt this person here, his mate, who was taking his breath away by doing completely nothing. </p><p>Hongjoong was just staring back at him, but it felt like he was sliding under his skin, reaching the place where he belonged. Where he was holding his own battle. </p><p>“....And it’s not the bond talking right now.” Hongjoong said once again, as Seonghwa remained quiet. He braced himself to put his pride aside. Because right now when he was finally let in between Seonghwa’s walls, he felt it. It was real. He’d actually fallen for the other no matter how bumpy and difficult they’d started. It was him when he carelessly took the decision to mate for a stranger, insisting that the bond and claim of each other would erase everyone else and leave only one person no matter. </p><p>But that was different. Hongjoong couldn’t put his finger on how he knew it, but it was the truth. </p><p>“Sit up.”  Seonghwa cut his thoughts and gently started pushing him until both of them were back to sitting, facing each other. And then as Hongjoong questioned his actions with just one look, Seonghwa started to feel how his palms were sweating. He glanced down, collecting the towel so he could press it in his lap and ignored the heat that rushed through his face, keeping his eyes on Hongjoong’s curious face.           “I want you to know…” Seonghwa said, locking his hands down like a fool, not daring to touch Hongjoong furthermore.           “At your house, it wasn’t just sex for me.”</p><p>Hongjoong smiled at the other. The serious look over Seonghwa’s face was once again endearing. As long as it was not a frown, everything was okay. But truly, the reason why Seonghwa was so thoughtfully sitting next to him, having the need to separate them from their close proximity, only to tell Hongjoong that what they shared mattered - that was the reason why Seonghwa was so endearing in Hongjoong’s eyes. Because Seonghwa was not capable of being romantic. It was erased from his dictionary since day one of his life, probably. And yet… here he stood. Staring at Hongjoong with that serious look on his face…. trying to say something at least close to nice.</p><p>“We can repeat it whenever you want.” Hongjoong couldn’t stop himself from getting back at his mate’s comment. </p><p>“We what?” The confusion flashed in his eyes for a moment and then Seonghwa gaped at Hongjoong like he was crazy. A second after he reached out and turned Hongjoong’s face aside, releasing a quiet laughter.          “Don’t be so brave all of a sudden. I didn’t imply that when I said that, fuck it.”  And then Seonghwa stood up, taking the towel with himself and hurried up to wrap it around his waist again. </p><p>“You’re right. I should try to learn from the best.”  Hongjoong followed Seongwha inside of their room.           “Come and watch me jerk off in the shower.”  He winked suggestively at the shocked mate of his. The weed that they smoked was definitely messing with both of them right now.</p><p>“When you say it like that it seems like a very fucked up move.”  Seonghwa replied, looking around until he found a safe place at his closet and opened it, only to hide from Hongjoong. What was wrong with that guy, really?</p><p>“Fucked up move- <em>yes</em>, yet both of us enjoyed the result. Don’t you agree, <em>mate</em>?” Hongjoong raised his voice in a teasing manner, while he started taking his clothes off. </p><p>Seonghwa could literally feel what the other was doing behind his back, but he still peeked, saw, and turned back to look at his clothes. The frown that reached his face was only there because he was thinking of this as the most fucked up moment to fuck each other. And since they told each other so much, Seonghwa didn’t want to act primitively again and jump on Hongjoong, just because he was there, probably naked already and throwing stupid jokes at him. </p><p>“Oh don’t go shy on me now… you had my dick in your mouth.”  Hongjoong mocked at him.</p><p>In that moment, no matter how wrong or weird it was, the one thing that flashed in Seonghwa’s confused mind, was that Hongjoong was the best description of what they used to call a <em>powerful bottom</em> downtown of Jeju. </p><p>He bumped his head against the door of the wardrobe and actually felt the pain.</p><p>“Okay, I got it."    Hongjoong kept talking.     "You’ll not join me under the shower.” Seonghwa heard the mock in the other’s voice when Hongjoong just had to continue burning him.          “You’d better not pretend you’re sleeping when I come out.”  Hongjoong was on his way to the bathroom, laughing at his own words. </p><p>Then Seonghwa called his name and he turned to him.</p><p>“Hongjoong. Be careful.”  Seonghwa warned, laughing as well as he let the stupid atmosphere that his mate created on his way to the bathroom, to actually relax him instead of make him think of actual sexual interactions.<em> But still</em>……..          “The next thing that you are gonna wake up to, is my piercing up your ass.”</p><p>“Is that even considered a threat?” Hongjoong was more than amused at the other. That was it - he had to admit to himself that he absolutely adored Seonghwa.</p><p>“Just think about it as you jerk off alone, <em>baby</em>.”  Seonghwa said and Hongjoong only laughed at his words as he closed the door to the bathroom. </p><p><em>What a day</em>, he though. </p><p> </p><p>***********</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So! that was the secret hiding behind Seonghwa's odd behavior whenever a fight on the Arena was mentioned! <br/>He was kidnapped and tortured by rogues, which twisted him and turned him into a killer. <br/>If you have any questions, please ask in the comments &lt;3<br/>thank you for supporting this fic and we hope that you will keep enjoying it! <br/>And also - HONGJOONG IS THE BEST BOY EVER! hahaha just had to say it! BYE.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Better.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>Chapter 9</strong>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Do you think that I am ever going to be like them?’ Seonghwa looked at Jia and Chan, who were playing around in the water, splashing each other like kids, smiles plastered on their faces. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yunho was sitting beside him on the rocks, a thoughtful expression surrounding his features. He shrugged, smiling absently as he stared at the same direction. Chan threw Jia into the water and she was laughing loud, even the crushing waves weren’t muffling her laughter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Maybe? Love is not a feeling that you can predict.’  Yunho said, eyes rolling on Seonghwa’s face.          ‘I’d like to see you in love though.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seonghwa cringed at the words, running his hands through his hair.        ’Why is that?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I just think that you will finally forget about what happened. Love …. is what will ease your pain.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seonghwa looked at Yunho, but he couldn’t understand him. He couldn’t understand the emotion that his keeper was trying to express. He couldn’t even picture himself with someone. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Being with someone and cherish them meant that Seonghwa had to be dedicated to something. He had to pick a task in front of himself and put his life on it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It sounded impossible, distant. Just like the sun that was setting down on the horizon. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love…. maybe it didn’t sound that bad. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes were staring at Hongjoong’s closed ones, some longing feeling clenching his chest painfully. </p><p>Anxiety. It was the most common feeling that he had through most of the days. Anxiety was making Seonghwa be…. himself. It became a part of him, like his consciousness couldn’t function if he wasn’t feeling bad all the time. </p><p>Seonghwa was always feeling as if something bad was going to happen. Like he wasn’t prepared for it, like as he open his eyes, he wasn’t going to be in his room but somewhere else. It was part of his mental trauma. </p><p>But he had someone to wake up to, a reminder that he wasn’t kidnapped or tortured. He was okay now, okay and alive. Stronger version of himself. </p><p>Seonghwa two years ago was strong, but he was stronger now. He had a pillar, a person who’d willingly collect his pieces and put them together. </p><p>This sleeping boy, who laid right beside him, was someone who Seonghwa still couldn’t understand. </p><p>He thought that he would eventually start figuring him out, but Hongjoong was complicated, determined and in the same time sensitive. </p><p>A reminder of Hongjoong’s glistening eyes last night, of the deep words that left his mouth then made Seonghwa shiver. He was not even close to thinking that he was that important for Hongjoong. He’d had no idea that the other would approach him and start a conversation that Seonghwa was scared to have with his closest people. </p><p>He had never let Yunho talk about his past, he barely let Eden do that as well. </p><p>And suddenly, he listened to Hongjoong, shared with him and felt…. different. As if the weight came off his shoulders and the pain transferred into his mate. Hongjoong accepted the burden and carried it like a hero, not even showing weakness for a moment. </p><p>He wasn’t pitying Seonghwa, it was easy to acknowledge that. Hongjoong just wanted to hold him. </p><p>It was a night where something really changed and Seonghwa, being an impulsive, selfish brat, let himself feel. He opened a door for Hongjoong and the other was quietly stepping into the dark room that he got welcomed into. He was threatened to lose himself in that darkness, but he was still trying. Because he wanted to help Seonghwa. He wanted to ease the pain in him. </p><p>Seonghwa’s hand moved and he touched Hongjoong’s warm lips with his thumb, his thoughts drifting to a completely different direction. The pain was going to always be with him, but the fact that his mate wasn’t supposed to always share it with him, made Seonghwa determined to keep it back from Hongjoong from now on. </p><p>He could be stronger. He could take all the hits, let his mate lead the fights at the Arena and help him in order to keep Hongjoong safe. That was a goal that Seonghwa wanted to keep for now. </p><p>His fingers moved to the side of Hongjoong’s neck and he shifted from his comfortable position, hovering over the sleeping boy. Seonghwa’s lips were inches away from his mate’s ear and he pecked it gently, talking to him in order to wake him up from his slumber. </p><p>“I am…. going to make you feel good.”  He said, letting the words sink into Hongjoong’s senses as he pulled the covers away from his alpha and attacked him with wet kisses, starting from his neck, collars, ignored the sleepy stretch of Hongjoong’s body as the other reacted to his sudden actions. </p><p>Seonghwa didn’t mind it, since he had another goal, and it was filling up his mind stronger than everything else. His lips left a trail along Hongjoong’s abs, the metal ball of his piercing gently rubbed the wet skin, lower and lower until he reached the other’s briefs. </p><p>His mouth watered by the sight of Hongjoong’s bulge and he had no idea how his intentions could go from innocent, to painful, from remorse and hope, to pure lust to make this boy feel like he was in <em>heaven</em>. </p><p>It was beyond Seonghwa why he was always this brave whenever Hongjoong was sleeping, but he continued his mission, pulling the sides of his briefs down, feeling how a hand reached his face and touched him frantically. Hongjoong didn’t stop him from undressing him, but Seonghwa heard the hard breathing of his mate. A moment later Hongjoong’s knees pulled up in a nervous manner, trying to close around Seonghwa. He shifted on the bed again, put his hands on Hongjoong’s knees and parted them, keeping his position between his legs. </p><p>Seonghwa wanted to look up at the other, but he knew that his brave actions would die in the second that he meet Hongjoong’s sleepy eyes. That's why he just looked at his goal, which was waiting to get into his mouth.  His hand wrapped around Hongjoong’s shaft and he leaned low, letting his tongue out to tease the head with his piercing. </p><p>Hongjoong’s hands gripped the sheets around himself and he muttered something lowly, his body shifting under Seonghwa. It encouraged him to try again and another lick followed, this time outlining the length of Hongjoong’s hardening member. </p><p>The short intakes of air and the small whines became something that Seonghwa wanted to hear <em>louder </em>and as he guided Hongjoong’s cock into his mouth he let it hit the back of his throat. His hands tried to still the other as he arched his back, letting out another quiet sound of satisfaction, but it wasn’t enough for Seonghwa. </p><p>He slowly pulled his head back and went lower again, starting off a slow pace while his hands tried to keep his balance as his mate was slowly turning into a mess. </p><p>Hongjoong was once again awakened by the naughtiness by his mate and he’d never complain about it. The way that Seonghwa was giving him head could not be compared with anything. Not to mention that he could not take his eyes off the sight which Seonghwa represented between his legs - bangs slightly covering his eyes, mouth working on him while trying to take the needed air though the nose. And that fucking piercing that was gliding on the underside of his cock whenever Seonghwa was moving up ... it felt too good. </p><p>He’d really never complain about waking up to such sight.</p><p>Hongjoong reached with a trembling hand for the other’s black strands of hair and pulled them. </p><p>“You want to … kill me.” The level of pleasure which his mate was showering him with was indescribable.  </p><p>Seonghwa pulled back from his hardness and looked up, meeting a pair of distracted eyes that didn’t really see him at the moment.. The way that Hongjoong looked like he was about to burst from satisfaction made something within Seonghwa burn. </p><p>And then the other part of him, the one that wanted to be in control, made him smirk at Hongjoong as if he wanted to show him just how much on the top he was right now. </p><p>“This is a payback.” He randomly said, leaving a kiss on the inner side of Hongjoong’s thigh before he licked the tip of his cock again.        “If you try something, I will make it hard for you.”</p><p>For the first time Seonghwa was actually dominating him. In both physical and mental way. Because Hongjoong did not even had the desire to fight it back. It was like Seonghwa put a spell on him and whatever he’d voiced out as a wish, the red-haired one would carry out without any doubts. And just the realization of that made Hongjoong freeze impossibly still. His muscles clenching from the warning that the other directed at him, just and inch from a clear order. </p><p>He noticed the smirk on Seonghwa’s face. </p><p>He was mocking him obviously, but he actually did not realize what his tone did and caused to Hongjoong. Seonghwa did not grasp how much he affected him. </p><p>“Good.”  Seonghwa replied, wrapping his long fingers around Hongjoong’s cock again and stroked him in a fast pace, keeping his eyes on his face the whole time that he was working him up. The other’s eyes rolled at the back of his head and his head dropped down on the pillow as he bit his lip and quieted another moan. That made Seonghwa growl at him and his hand stopped moving, gripping the base of Hongjoong’s hardness.        “Louder, if you don’t want me to stop.”  He said that in such a fucked up sincerity that his own body shivered. </p><p>Pleasure thrills ran through Hongjoong’s whole body. The intensity in the other’s hold of him was strong. He was biting his lip hard. Hongjoong didn’t want so easily to submit to Seonghwa’s words, but the tight grip over his member got even stronger and that caused a whimper to slip against his will. </p><p>It was one thing to realize what Seonghwa was doing, affirming his dominance over him. But it was completely another thing for Hongjoong to actually acknowledge it in front of him.  </p><p>“Okay then.” Seonghwa’s right eyebrow jumped and his expression became more determined. He let Hongjoong witness a side of him that wasn’t really shown to the other in their previous intimate moments, but he just simply chased after his current goal, which was to simply blow Hongjoong’s mind away. Two of his free fingers slipped through his own mouth and he let his mate watch over him as he sucked them, pulled them out when he was done and smirked again. He didn’t give Hongjoong a chance to protest as he moved his fingers down and searched for entrance.          “I can make you scream. How cliche, right?”  He laughed at his own words, but his actions made him serious again just right after his fingers aimed for Hongjoong’s hole and slid in without warning. </p><p>Hongjoong had to take a deep breath in from the intrusion of the other’s fingers in him. That was nothing like their previous encounter since back then they were both on edge. His consciousness was not really in the game back then. What their primitiveness made them do, was only to finalize their claims over one another. It was more like a physical connection which was the last string from their bond. </p><p>Right now it was totally different thing. </p><p>Hongjoong was actually feeling everything Seonghwa was doing. </p><p>The pace his mate picked to work with his fingers was not meant to bring pleasure to Hongjoong, but only to prepare him for what was certainly coming next. The eagerness in that action as if slapped Hongjoong across the face. </p><p>At some point he felt Seonghwa detached himself from him. And Hongjoong could not keep his eyes closed any longer. He tried to focus over the other and saw one of the most attractive scenes, not that he hadn’t seen it before, but for sure it was his most favourite one - Seonghwa stroking himself in between his legs. He was pumping himself roughly. Hongjoong felt the sudden desire to do something, but Seonghwa's words still lingered on the back of his mind where he told him to stay still. So he had no other choice but to obey. </p><p>And the silent agreement between them let Seonghwa keep the current control, even after he was slowly losing his patience and the sight of his mate spread on that bed waiting was making his insides twist with intense lust. He pushed Hongjoong’s knees apart again and went for his lips, hovering over the other as he somehow fucked up his strong posture and appeared more desperate than he intended to. </p><p>His lips locked with Hongjoong’s eager ones and they started biting each other, not even letting one another to dominate the kiss or even press their lips in something close to affection. And then Seonghwa guided himself into Hongjoong, thrusting deep into him to silence him and take the upper hand. Instead of getting startled, Hongjoong growled at him as he locked his legs around Seonghwa’s waist, keeping him in place. He couldn’t stop the shudders that were shaking through the top of his head to the end of his toes. The sensation of welcoming Seonghwa inside him, having him all over his body, ocean and breeze filling his lungs with each breath that he took… the level of connection that Hongjoong felt with his mate at right that moment, it almost made him come. </p><p>That’s why he needed a second of Seonghwa to keep still. Not to do anything. He didn’t want that moment to end. To have him in his hands, as he’d hugged Seonghwa at one point, pressing him closer to himself. </p><p>All those thoughts just made him shiver more and more. </p><p>“Seonghwa…” His hoarse voice was betraying everything that he felt, not that he wanted to hide it in the first place.     “I’ll get you… back for.. that..” He shuddered again.      “Next time.. I’ll fuck you.” It was only fair for his mate to know such experience. </p><p>To hear how Hongjoong was threatening with filling him up on this hot way didn’t make Seonghwa feel bad. But the fact  that Hongjoong was really on the edge was kind of obvious as his fingers were desperately trying to rip the skin on his back, grasping it out of frustration.</p><p>He dig his nose into Hongjoong’s neck and inhaled from his fresh scent, closing his eyes for a moment. Yes, Hongjoong deserved to be treated like that, he deserved to be edged like that, powerless and in the same time still demanding, trying desperately to look strong even when he was shaking like crazy. </p><p>“Is it going to make you feel good if I tell you…”  He mumbled, still thrusting into Hongjoong, but slowly, having that sensual pace only because he wanted to let the words sink into the other’s mind.         “......that it’d be my first time letting someone to take control?”</p><p>Hongjoong’s body betrayed him once again just by the thought of it. To have Seonghwa in a way that nobody else had the chance to have and see him. It was the last drop to his pleasure clouded senses and he let go. The climax which hit him was almost devastating - making him see nothing and everything in the same time in white and black.</p><p>That did not stop Seonghwa of starting to chase his own orgasm in a fast and harsh moves. At some point Hongjoong felt how the skin on his shoulder was bit and ripped again - a side which Seonghwa obviously could not control himself. It was a good thing that they were supernatural beings otherwise Hongjoong would be missing not only pieces of skin, but would be dead by how Seonghwa was ramming in him like a wild animal. </p><p>Hongjoong felt overstimulated by what his mate was doing, so with absent mind he finally allowed himself to do something and returned the bite which he knew would help the other in his chase. He must have ripped skin as well, since blood flooded in his mouth, but he did not mind, on the contrary - bit even harder. </p><p>It was the moment when Seonghwa cursed, tried to prevent his orgasm, but failed miserably in the action. His eyes closed and his forehead bumped against Hongjoong’s shoulder as he came. His body stiffed for a moment as the low and pleased growl that slipped through his lips was the only thing that indicated his satisfaction alongside the fact that he spilled inside of the other. </p><p>He wasn’t vocal, not at all, but there were moments when Hongjoong was making it hard for him to keep control and as he thought that he could be strong and composed, his body betrayed him. Right after the orgasm shook him several times, Seonghwa started breathing hard, letting out louder grunts, expressing the satisfaction that his mate was giving him and he still thrusted in him until it was all gone. His heart was bursting with emotions, each one of them different and Hongjoong’s closeness made it easy for him to express the attachment. </p><p>Seonghwa started kissing the mark, treating it gently, leaving small licks to grace the lines of it as if that was a better way to show Hongjoong what he felt at the current moment instead of using words. </p><p>Hongjoong felt thoroughly satisfied, fulfilled and content. The sex was great, but what was even greater was the aftermath. The feeling of Seonghwa’s clinginess to him. The affection which he was showing him. All of that made the red haired happy. And he desperately wanted Seonghwa to know it.</p><p>“If that was payback…” Hongjoong caressed Seonghwa’s back up and down.        “.. then I wonder what you’re capable of doing when…” He paused on purpose, so he’d let the other connect their eyes       “... you actually want to drive me crazy.” </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyebrows jumped up in true unawareness.        “I have no idea how you manage to dirty talk me like this.”  He said and kept looking at the other, acknowledging the determination in his eyes. And suddenly the idea of giving this little devil the control seemed like a bad thing to do, so he hoped that Hongjoong wasn’t going to really consider that later.</p><p>“You just provoke me.” Hongjoong smile was so wide that probably most of his teeth were visible to his mate.         “And I like how embarrassed you are when you can’t come up with anything to shut me up.” </p><p>Seonghwa’s face warmed up again and he was sure that at least his ears were red. And that embarrassing fact was what made him pull away from Hongjoong. His eyes looked at the messy state that he was leaving Hongjoong, but to run away from him was stronger than taking care.</p><p>Hongjoong was a big boy, he could stand up and go to the bathroom. He didn’t need help at all. </p><p>“I’m not embarrassed.”  Seonghwa said diplomatically, arguing over facts.          “Just not as filthy as you are. Think about it, you pervert.”</p><p>“Right.” Hongjoong mocked the other as he was already on his way to the bathroom. An obvious run away route for him. And that had to prove that he was not embarrassed?      “Don’t forget who wanted me louder earlier…. only for the rest of the house to know what’d happened here, right?” </p><p>“I didn’t get what I want, so screw you.” Seonghwa replied and shut the door as he got into the bathroom, successfully running away from Hongjoong. </p><p>The red haired one just laid on the bed with a warm feeling in his chest, while his body was well spent. For sure he did not mind how their morning routine worked these days. </p><p>He waited for Seonghwa to finish his job there, and once he was freshly showered and off the bathroom, Hongjoong switched with him. </p><p>A long day was in front of them and probably it was not going to be an easy one. </p><p>But he couldn’t stop the flame of expectation that burned in him. </p><p> </p><p>*************</p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa dodged the attack of the grey alpha that swung a paw in order to rip the skin underneath his muzzle. He jumped to the side, escaping the weak try of the older male to struck him and immobilize at least one limb. </p><p>The Hongs had a clear strategy, probably watching Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s previous three fights. </p><p>The plan that Seonghwa had come up with - got accepted by Eden and they had trained ways of handling a fight without Seonghwa’s contribution. Hongjoong’s part was to attack the two opponents, coming at them one by one as Seonghwa had to handle their bites and try to distract them. It worked with the Bangs, the Ohs, while the Suhs were a bit of pain in the ass and now this older couple that they were currently fighting were trying to sabotage Seonghwa and even though he was pissing off the bigger alpha, his mate was still managing to pierce through Hongjoong’s assaults and hurt him. </p><p>Seonghwa was starting to lose his patience, blocking another scratch, but as his eyes followed his mate, he saw how the smaller alpha from the other team bit Hongjoong on the back. Hongjoong shrugged the female off and started jumping for her neck, distracting Seonghwa from his current mission to get the male alpha away. </p><p>He felt something, looking back to acknowledge the strike that got him pinned to the ground. Seonghwa let his guard down for a moment and that grey bastard was all over him, desperately trying to keep him in spot and bite him. </p><p>Seonghwa kicked him with his hind legs, sending him far away from himself. Just then he spotted the white wolf jumping for the grey one, as he had already rid off the female wolf who was limping by the iron railings. Seonghwa could even hear the whimpers in pain that she wolf was letting out. </p><p>And then Hongjoong took down the grey wolf with just one calculated move, his muzzle dig under the other one’s neck, leaving him no chance but to surrender. When the ring penetrated Seonghwa, his ears perked and his heart finally calming down. </p><p>It was over again. </p><p>He walked over to the center of the ring as Hongjoong started jumping to accept their win happily, swirling around like a little pup. He really enjoyed fighting, that was one thing that Seonghwa started to realize after each time they ended up winning. </p><p>The man announced their victory through the speakers and Yunho opened the metal gate, welcoming them with two gowns, as San was proudly standing behind him. </p><p>It was still a little hard for Seonghwa to cope with what was actually going on while he and Hongjoong were on the Arena, but at least he wasn’t acting like a total coward anymore. The progress that he had obtained was making him think that one day he could manage to control himself better and slowly overcome the trauma. </p><p>He was looking upon Hongjoong as if seeing someone who could easily stimulate him to try harder. The other’s determination and strength were always making Seonghwa feel proud and even if he wasn’t expressing feelings in the way that he wanted to, he always managed to tell Hongjoong that he was great, while pinning him in their dark room after every fight, flattering his neck with kisses. The way that he touched Hongjoong’s body was desperate and eager, as every time was their first time and the way that Hongjoong responded to every touch was as if he was going to die without it. </p><p>They never spoke about feelings, probably because Seonghwa sucked in talking about things that mattered and Hongjoong was having enough mercy to let him find his way of showing his emotions. </p><p>However, tonight Hongjoong had a scratch, one that crossed his bare chest once that he transformed, walking to the back rooms alongside San, who was rubbing his shoulders in a soothing manner. </p><p>“You two had to sweat a bit this time.”  Yunho said, patting him on the shoulder.  Seonghwa’s eyes were still on his mate’s back until they entered the room and he just smiled at Yunho, not saying anything to him.</p><p>His beta left the room as San was still there, making sure that Hongjoong didn’t need anything. He left after Yunho and just then Seonghwa released the breath that he was holding. </p><p>He didn’t want to admit that he was worried, but his frown was probably giving out that even when he approached Hongjoong with a serious posture and pulled the collars of the gown, looking at the fresh wound. </p><p>“Doesn’t it hurt?” He asked, hating the scratch, no matter how harmless it looked. It was still an evidence that Hongjoong actually got hurt.</p><p>Hongjoong took Seonghwa’s hands and brought them to his lips, which lingered over the knuckles. </p><p>“It’ll heal soon, don’t worry.” Only then he pressed an innocent kiss, an act of appreciation towards the other.             “You did amazing tonight.” </p><p>“I got distracted.”  Seonghwa let him know, the irritation was loud and clear in his voice as he moved his hands out of Hongjoong’s gentle hold and stepped back to cool the adrenaline that was still making him shake.          “It’s fine. One more.”  He reminded himself.       “The challenges are going to stop, I hope. We are not backing away. But I want something more for the last round.”</p><p>“What do you want?” Hongjoong couldn’t stop himself from asking. </p><p>The progress which he had witnessed with his own two eyes was making him feel proud of even participating in it, in the first place. Ever since the first battle, they trained together - as they should have done from the start, and Hongjoong did not miss a chance to remind Eden that at every given opportunity. Seonghwa didn’t pay him attention on the matter, but the trainer did not really reply anything to his accusations any more. He just played his role. </p><p>It was not easy for Seonghwa to start trusting him on the arena, that he was not going to attack him, and Hongjoong was not sure how much of faith he had in him actually even nowadays. But the results were clear. They worked well on the ring. Hongjoong finally could let himself do what he was good at, while Seonghwa helped him out and in the same time participated actively into the fightings. </p><p>So far they have not received any additional challenge. The clan members started seeing them differently with every following fight. </p><p>But tonight was the first time for Seonghwa to express anticipation - in a good way and not utter anxiety - for the final fight for them so far. The fifth one. </p><p>“If they start coming at you, like the Hong couple did tonight, I have to step in.” Seonghwa said, a frown formed on his face again as he stepped back to his mate and picked his face in a light grip.       “If anything go wrong, push me.”  He said, but didn’t let Hongjoong to reply or think too much over the matter. He wanted to say something else and it was on the back of his mind ever since he woke up that morning.        “And then I want you to challenge someone. You know better who were the ones trying to steal your clan territories. Challenge them. We fight for my clan, but it’s only fair if we do it for yours as well. We should be equal.”</p><p>Seonghwa was getting bolder and bolder every day. And with that his ability to shut Hongjoong’s mind out of nothing, just with couple of words. </p><p>Words that meant so much for Hongjoong and Seonghwa knew it. </p><p>Hongjoong felt the strong beats of his heart to the point, they were pounding in his ears also. </p><p>“I love you.” It slipped without his intention. He should have kept the confession back and he knew it. Seonghwa was so not ready to hear it. </p><p>But his nerves were all in balls from the things he made him experience just with a look from his mate. And now that he finally acknowledged Hongjoong’s wishes … it was the last drop to his patience to go flying out of the window. </p><p>He’d kept those three words for awhile now... ever since that night when Seonghwa told him what had happened to him… weeks passed but the feelings in him only grew. And the change in Seonghwa’s behaviour was only because he wanted to be someone who Hongjoong would not be ashamed of. </p><p>Who wouldn’t love this perfect being?, Hongjoong wondered. </p><p>And he needed to say it for Seonghwa to finally start seeing himself for who he really was and not the role he’d been acting for years.  </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes widened just a bit before he took control over his reactions and looked away, still frowning. His heart started pacing nervously and he felt how his palms sweat against Hongjoong’s face, so he slid them down. </p><p>He had no idea what these words made him feel, but it was a feeling that he could define as negative. It wasn’t because he didn’t like the sound of Hongjoong’s confession or that he didn’t think it was honest. </p><p>Seonghwa felt like the words just left a bittersweet taste in his mouth when his lips parted and he said something that he didn’t intend to. </p><p>“I’ve never heard that before.”  He confessed, sharing another thing with his mate, no matter that it brought his nervousness to extreme edges. </p><p>Seonghwa was watching other people’s interaction through most of his life, trying to understand why they acted the way they did and why they were easily expressing emotions like that. Like it was so easy. Like the reality wasn’t scaring them. </p><p>Like it was so easy now for Hongjoong to admit feelings that Seonghwa didn’t deserve. He wasn’t aware of Hongjoong’s swift of emotions and he didn’t do anything to show the other that what he just heard touched his heart. </p><p>Because he was once again a coward. </p><p>“So I can’t say…. how it makes me feel.”  Seonghwa finished and bit his bottom lip.</p><p>Hongjoong smiled at the other because he accepted his words as complete sincerity. He knew that his confession would only confuse Seonghwa, as it was obvious he was emotion-free guy. But it didn’t matter to Hongjoong because he could see clearly that Seonghwa was on the right path. </p><p>He may be not on the same page with him regarding loving him, but Hongjoong was sure that he was not that far behind. And even if he was … then Hongjoong just had to gather him in his arms and just shower him with the attention that Seonghwa had lacked all his life. </p><p>“I don’t want you to say it back, Seonghwa.” He admitted when he closed the distance between them and pressed a light kiss over the other’s lips.       “As long as you care … that’s completely fine with me.” </p><p>Seonghwa was looking down at Hongjoong’s lips, leaving his heart to decide once again. One, two, three beats, he could feel them in his head, a great reminder that no matter that he felt calm, he wasn’t. And he figured that he mislead himself when he thought that he didn’t like the sound of that confession. </p><p>It felt wrong, because Seonghwa still showed nothing that Hongjoong could grasp onto and love, but even that way, the other still found a reason for himself to stay, to cherish, to understand. And it once again reminded Seonghwa of how powerful his mate was. </p><p>“Can you say it again, please?” He asked, his eyes meeting Hongjoong’s confident ones in a split moment. </p><p>And Hongjoong found no reason why he had to deny such request. So he said not once, twice or thrice but as many times as he could before Seonghwa could find the will to run away from him. </p><p>But he didn’t run. He only pushed Hongjoong against the wall and shut his mouth with a passionate kiss.</p><p> </p><p>*************</p><p> </p><p>“You ready?” San’s perky voice reached Hongjoong’s absracted mind. He’d been preparing for the celebration which Dara and Taecyeon had organized for the 5th fighting win in a row when San was making him company. But the red-haired one was preoccupied with selecting his clothes for the night and paid the beta no mind. </p><p>It was an excuse actually, so he could order his restless thoughts. Hence why he took his time in putting the oversized reddish long-sleeved shirt, with a deep neckline. Hongjoong picked it so everyone could freely take a look at the latest reminders of Seonghwa’s bites on his neck and collarbones. The skin was reddish as it was still not completely healed. </p><p>The leather tight pants, wrapped his legs like a second skin. He’d also picked them for a reason - to keep Seonghwa’s eyes only to himself. </p><p>Nowadays, he’d paid so much attention on his appearance that it was funny. But who could blame him for that? He wanted his mate to look at him and to never pay attention at anyone else, but only him. It was ridiculous, he knew. They were together from the moment they opened their eyes, to the daily trainings with Eden, then if it was a fight night - they fought shoulder by shoulder and then went back home, only so they could spend the night remiscending what they’d learnt from the collision with the other couples. </p><p>The atmosphere between him and Seonghwa did not change after his confession of love and he was grateful for that. Seonghwa’s behaviour did change though, just the slightest. And it perked Hongjoong. His mate was a bit too gentle, a tad too possessive when he claimed him and …. Hongjoong loved him even more for it. </p><p>The excitement which he felt on the arena was too feral and the only way he managed to shake it out of his system was thanks to Seonghwa, who replaced the thrill for blood with something much better. Seonghwa did not miss a chance to make him a mess when devouring him afterwards. And Hongjoong was expecting those encounters like a starved animal. The more Seonghwa was giving him, the more he wanted and needed. </p><p>It was beyond him how he himself had changed in the matter of a few months. </p><p>Hongjoong was  staring at his reflection in the mirror, assessing his appearance. San was behind him, checking him out as well. The scene was exact copy of the mating ceremony day - but back then Hongjoong’s mind was preoccupied with only determination - to get the mating over with, so he could finally be able to fight and rightfully defend his own clan. </p><p>Now, however, when he stared at himself he could almost not recognize himself - he was lovestruck puppy. The only thing that he could think about was how to impress and satisfy Seonghwa. One side of him was okay with that, but the other - not. The fighter in him wanted to recall their last meeting on the arena with their opponents. It had not been an easy fight, as the other couple was prepared and did not let themselves be lead into the dynamics which he and Seonghwa wanted them to. Instead of following Seonghwa as distraction, which Hongjoong could take advantage of and go for someone’s neck and demand surrender, the older couple was mimicking their own strategy. The fight had almost been boring for the audience since at the beginning nothing really happened. Four wolves surrounding each other, counting each move, carefully stepping from one leg to the other. At some point Hongjoong got tired of that and went for the alpha male. His attack was foreseen and two wolves awaited him with open jaws and sharpened claws. The bigger one caught him in the air and bit him on the side, then swirled him on the floor and jumped at him, to keep him on the ground. The she wolf also got into action and caught one of his hind legs and started pulling him with viciousness which was to be expected. Hongjoong tried to get himself rid off the bigger form which was keeping him still. Tried to bite him and scratch him but each attempt was met with failure, as the shrewd eyes were carefully judging every move from his side and preparedly blocked his attack. </p><p>Then Seonghwa had stepped into the fight. It was not as if he got all crazy and wild as everyone expected him to - he had attacked the she wolf , as he was the weaker one from the couple - he harshly pushed her away from Hongjoong’s hind legs, which gave him the opportunity to free himself as well and turn the tables of the fight. Hongjoong’s claws tore the other wolf’s stomach while his jaw ripped an ear. The action made the male wolf to lose his balance and Seonghwa caught him from behind - jumping on his back, while Hongjoong ripped the wolf’s neck a little. </p><p>She wolf instantly surrendered at the sight of her mate’s distress. </p><p>They’d won because they worked together and Seonghwa kept his promise to aid him in case Hongjoong needed him. </p><p>“I’m ready.” Hongjoong finally replied to his keeper. </p><p>“You trying to seduce Seonghwa on the dining table or what?” San smirked and met Hongjoong’s eyes in their reflections in the mirror. </p><p>“That obvious?” </p><p>“He’d love it.” San assured him.          “You two deserve this party… you need to let go of the tension. You did great on the arena.”  He closed the distance between them and hugged the alpha from behind, locking his hands on the red-haired stomach. His chin on Hongjoong’s shoulder.</p><p>“He wants me to send challenge invitation.” Hongjoong had not said anything so far, keeping that piece of information to himself, since he needed to really think it through. He had not expected for Seonghwa to say it back then, he had not expect himself reacting on spot and proclaiming his love for his mate, as well. Seonghwa saw him as an equal even though they were coming from different worlds and that had blown his mind. </p><p>San raised his eyebrows at him.         “Really?”  </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“Will you?”  The look of surprise was replaced with excitement on San’s face. </p><p>“Hell yes. But not now.” Hongjoong patted San’s arms as a gesture for the other to release him, and he immediately did it.          “Now, we need to go and entertain the enemy, you know.” </p><p>“No matter how much time we spend here… I’ll not get used to this .. <em>class</em>.” </p><p>“Where’s Mingi?” Hongjoong ignored San, wondering why his brother was not glued to the keeper as per usual. </p><p>“He’s with your mate and Yunho.” </p><p>“Oh.” Hongjoong had been so into his own world that he’d missed how and when Mingi had gotten close with his mate in the first place. But he was happy that they had buried their initial dissatisfaction with one another. The time which was spent on the Kims lands had most definitely helped them. </p><p>With that on his mind, Hongjoong lead San downstairs where they found too many people. The sight once again reminded him of the engagement party and their ceremony day. Those were the only times when this mansion was crowded with people and actually looked alive. For the rest of the time Hongjoong barely met even the occupants of this house. It was so big that if the family members wanted to, they could avoid each other for weeks with ease.</p><p>That was one more major difference between the Kims tiny home the Parks pretentious residence.  </p><p>People were greeting Hongjoong and he had to pretend that he recognized them, and by the look on San’s face he was forced to play nice and even small talk them. </p><p>San was in his waters then, as he easily lead conversations in directions which he wanted to. It was amazing to see San in his strongest, diplomatic side. He was so charismatic that no one could get away from his charm. </p><p>Hongjoong was bored out of his mind a gentle hand slipped under his biceps. Strong sweet perfume abused the red haired one’s nostrils. </p><p>“And here he is, the star of the night.” Jia smiled sweetly at him and Hongjoong could not stop himself from mimicking her. </p><p>“Hello Jia, Chan.” He greeted the couple who looked so elegant next to each other. They wore colors which complement both of them and suited them well. Jia’s long baby blue dress suited Chan’s dark blue suit. They looked absolutely stunning. Jia’s hair was collected in a casual bun, while curly strands were surrounding her small face, only making her appear innocent and sweet as a youth girl, while Chan was strict example of Park’s family - his hairstyle was the usual one - pushed back, his face cleared for everyone to see the strength he possessed. </p><p>“Do you enjoy the success?” Jia pressed further as she pulled him slightly, to get him away from the boring conversation that was keeping him in place for the last ten minutes. </p><p>He was grateful for that. </p><p>“Why shouldn’t he? He deserved it.” Chan stepped in and also smiled at the red haired. </p><p>“It’s a good feeling.”  There was no reason for him to lie that he enjoyed the eyes that looked at him with something akin to respect, than those first glances of pettiness that still haunted him after their first fight. </p><p>“Enjoy it while it lasts.” Jia melancholically commented. Hongjoong understood why the woman felt bad about the whole ordeal, since she had to step back from the previous position of a leading she wolf for the Parks due to health reasons. If Hongjoong had to do it right now, he wouldn’t feel okay with it, either.</p><p>“Give the boy a break. It’s a party.”  Eden said from behind, raising up a glass of wine and just then their small group got invaded by not only the trainer, but the loud Mingi, whose black shirt was having more unbuttoned than buttoned knots and his hair was loudly ruffled as if he just went on a race.</p><p>“Remind me to never, ever agree on a street race.”  Yunho exposed the absence of him, Mingi and Seonghwa, as the three of them were having similarities not only in the ruined hairs, but clothes as well. </p><p>Eden raised an eyebrow, not looking impressed by what Yunho just said, but as Hongjoong rolled his eyes on Seonghwa, his mate looked happy. </p><p>He had a wild smile on his face as his black hair was pushed to the side, even though there were strands of it that weren’t tamed anymore. He wore a black shirt with no buttons and similar deep V neck as the one that Hongjoong wore.  When he caught Hongjoong staring, he returned the look and his smile kind of froze on his face. </p><p>“Easy, this is my brother there.”  Mingi pushed his hand to close Seonghwa’s mouth and just then the other alpha frowned, elbowed him and stepped towards Hongjoong. </p><p>Hongjoong welcomed his mate with a peck on his lips. It was no longer only his primitive desire to verify in front of everyone that Seonghwa was his, but also a need that burned within him with the only excuse to show skinship.</p><p>“Hi.” He couldn’t stop himself from greeting Seonghwa in the cheesiest way. Not when Seonghwa could not get his eyes off of his face. That only made Hongjoong to slid his eyes over the other’s tempting body. </p><p>“I don’t like what you are wearing.”  Seonghwa said quietly, keeping their close proximity to have a small moment of privacy despite their closest friends and keepers who were loudly discussing the small race that Seonghwa and the other two had for no reason exactly. </p><p>“Is that so?” Hongjoong raised an eyebrow. He’d picked his outfit for a reason, and he could not believe that the other just dismissed it like that. </p><p>Seonghwa noticed the small scowl on Hongjoong’s face and hurried up to shake his head.        “I don’t mean that, I mean.. you..” his explanation was putting him in a stupid position right now so he leaned in the other’s ear and tried to give a better explanation.        “You look too hot to be on this fucked up party. Many people are giving you looks, I don’t even wanna look around and confirm my fucking words. So… don’t put so much effort for assholes, it makes me angry.”</p><p>Hongjoong not only cringed at the way the other explained himself, but actually felt thrills running all over his back. It was at times like this one, when he felt utterly bewitched by his mate. His disability to express himself, but still managing to grip Hongjoong’s heart and squeeze it in his net, was both amusing and in the same sexy for him. </p><p>“The effort was for you and you only.” Hongjoong dared to confirm it before the other could proceed his line of thought. Hongjoong wanted his mate to know that he did it for him as the only eyes he wanted to look at him were Seonghwa’s and not anyone else’s. </p><p>Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at him, biting his bottom lip as a small nod of his head showed Hongjoong that he was satisfied with the reply.       “I shall take care of you then, since you put so much…. effort.”  His tongue pushed the piercing out and he eyed Hongjoong in the dirtiest way possible, feeling the instant effect of his own bullshit as the heat that flashed through him was too overwhelming for a moment. </p><p>“Can’t wait.” Hongjoong absolutely lost every bit of nobleness which he had tried to show the scrunchy guests of the Parks, when he harshly gripped Seonghwa’s neck and pulled him for a dirty open-mouthed kiss. </p><p>Just when Seonghwa was grabbing his mate right there in front of everyone, Eden cleared his throat loud and put his hands on their backs. </p><p>“Seonghwa, the speech.”  He said boredly, and the couple had to part from their kiss now, both of them shooting Eden with deadly glares.       “You can eat each other’s faces later. Duty comes first.”</p><p>Not surprisingly for anyone, it was Hongjoong who made Eden step back with a growl. The alpha still did not appreciate it when Eden was involved too closely with Seonghwa. Not when he was touching him on the back. He had no right to do it. </p><p>“He’s right.” San stepped in before Hongjoong could do anything else. Mingi was hugging his keeper from behind, while giving a nasty glare at him and Seonghwa. Maybe his brother still hold some grudges at Seonghwa whenever they were close to one another, which Hongjoong could not fully understand. </p><p>“Duty comes first.”  Seonghwa said boredly, rolling his eyes from San and Mingi, whose clinginess never missed to impress him, considering how stoic and serious San usually was. It was like Mingi was his rainbow, coming at him with hundred colors and the contrast between them and the way they interacted seemed…. special. </p><p>He nodded at Eden, watching him drink his wine calmly, as Yunho was standing beside him, not even looking at him. The sight was both disturbing and sad. Maybe if Yunho hadn’t confessed that day, Seonghwa wasn’t going to find it as a bad sign, but knowing what kind of feelings Yunho was trying to fight right now made him feel bad for his keeper. </p><p>He wished Yunho could be happy, but he chose to keep his loyalty instead. </p><p>Seonghwa sighed, glancing over to his sexy mate at last, eyes roaming over the outfit and he couldn’t wait to finish with this bullshit so he could pick Hongjoong up and rip his clothes one by one. The dirty thought gave him power and he moved away, greeting Chan and Jia with a smile. </p><p>He saw his parents nearby a table, surrounded by the clan council and some other people that Seonghwa didn’t even want to meet. As expected, Dara was fakely smiling, that smile never reaching her eyes and just by looking at her, Seonghwa felt how his mood started to slowly sink down again. </p><p>She had her eyes on the small scene that Seonghwa had to step in and he was sure that when he did, he was going to see her judging look, caused by whatever he chose to say. </p><p>It was terrifying how Dara was the only person who could bring him to the ground and keep him there like a useless dog, someone who wasn’t able to man up and stand in front of her. Seonghwa wasn’t a liar, but he was a coward, who decided to stand Dara’s hatred towards him instead of asking her the most simple question. </p><p>Why?</p><p>“Good evening, guests of the Park clan and members who appreciated the last events that had passed successfully, and came here to show gratitude.”  The speech was memorized, written by Eden himself as Seonghwa expressed disagreement to even stand on that scene, but he knew that Hongjoong wasn’t having the right to speak in front of the clan. Even though that every bastard in that hall was more than aware of how the fights were proceeding, how Seonghwa was completely leaving the upper hand to Hongjoong and the other alpha was leading then to each one of their wins. Despite the fact that he was the one who put so much effort to change their appearance and show them as a strong couple that the other clans shouldn’t mess with, despite the other fact that Hongjoong was the heir of the Kims, who weren’t even invited to this celebration, he still had no right to come up on that fucking stage and even stand beside Seonghwa. </p><p>“The clan territories are successfully protected and will stay safe.”  He said, exposing his anger as his voice shook a little. His eyes roamed through the crowd until he saw Hongjoong standing there, surrounded by Mingi and San. Seonghwa’s anger expanded more at the realization that Hongjoong was like their trophy  for the night - looking shiny and pretty, for everyone to look at and admire. The Parks were a clan that was born from aristocats, wealthy people who showed less emotions and only cared for power and money. He wasn’t a part of them, Hongjoong wasn’t their trophy and  this speech…. this speech was so fucked up that Seonghwa couldn’t keep talking if he wanted to keep his cool and actually survive more hours at his own useless party. They were celebrating a win that a Kim alpha handed to them. Yet, Seonghwa had to go on the stage and talk bullshit after bullshit to just caress the Parks ego. </p><p>“Have a good night and let this celebration chase away your worries.” Seonghwa said and locked his eyes with his mother, feeling a sudden rush of the most negative emotion that had struck him tonight. He stepped down from the stage and hurried up to find Hongjoong, grasping at his hand when he did.            “We can get wasted now.”  He told his mate, knowing that he wouldn’t reject his offer. </p><p>“Okay.” Hongjoong ignored the looks that everyone was throwing at them when Seonghwa pulled him away from the crowd. He pushed to the back of his mind the thought that this action from them might backfire, since they were expected to attend the celebration and not hide in the gazebo in the garden, spending time alone instead of entertaining whomever believed was important enough to waste their time.</p><p>It was a hundred times better, when Seonghwa lead him to their <em>‘secret place’</em> where a bottle of tequila already waited for them. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>New chapter here! We hope that you will like it like the rest of the story xD<br/>We have a new fic if anyone's interested in checking it out, its called "Stranded Island" <br/>Comments are welcome as usual ! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Falling.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Next chapter is last chapter, lol xD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Chapter 10.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’m sorry</em>.” </p><p>Seonghwa nearly dropped the fork that he was holding. The bite that he had in his mouth lost its taste and he gulped it down after he paused, leaving the words to sink into his brain. </p><p>Everything inside of him was screaming to look up and yell at <em>her</em>, tell her that such lies weren’t going to make him feel better and damn, even while he was going through a mental breakdown, he still composed himself and just cleared his throat. </p><p>Seonghwa was alone in the dining hall, like usually. It was late in the morning, Hongjoong was still sleeping up in their room and Seonghwa just decided to come down, eat something and bring food for his mate. </p><p>And unexpectedly, Dara just showed up on the doorway of the lonely room and disturbed his peace with crappy lies. Sorry? She was telling him that she was sorry? What for? </p><p>“Seonghwa…” </p><p>“I don’t wanna listen.”  He mumbled, tossing the fork down as he lost his appetite completely and stood up, pushing his chair back with such force that it fell on the ground.. </p><p>Dara judged his actions with her sharp eyes, pushing her long black bangs behind her ears. One look at her was enough to wake up emotions that Seonghwa was keeping back for the past week. Ever since that grand ‘<em>We won the fights</em>’ party, the whole family started acting weird. </p><p>Taecyeon was asking of Seonghwa to visit places with him, as the political stuff was about to be transferred to Seonghwa and his mate soon, so there were things that the oblivious son didn’t know yet. The staff of the mansion were always on Seonghwa’s way, he felt as if people were breathing on the back of his neck wherever he decided to go. There was no privacy and he knew that Hongjoong was kind of bothered by it as well. </p><p>His pretty face was having a permanent frown lately and he preferred to be training instead of staying alone. He trained with San and Mingi when Seonghwa was out on clan duties, but at least  Chan and Jia were trying to spend more time with them during the evenings, even practicing on the ring in the basement. Eden was sceptic, telling Jia to be careful, but her wolf was hungry for fights and even after her loss, she was still good to compete with. </p><p>Several days passed, but Seonghwa felt it as a longer period of time. He didn’t like to leave his mate alone and he was finding Hongjoong resting on the balcony, a glass of wine resting on the glass table in front of him. He was spacing out, telling Seonghwa that he was bored, but it was passing quickly as Seonghwa had always made sure to pour Hongjoong’s face and body with kisses, worshipped him like Hongjoong was some kind of a deity and it was beyond him why he acted as if he hadn’t seen the other when in reality they were separated only for couple of hours. </p><p>The clan was taking from his personal time with Hongjoong and Seonghwa hated the fact that even if everyone else were preoccupying him, Dara had no time for him. </p><p>The bitterness in his eyes made the woman frown and as Seonghwa tried to pass her by and spare her the wasted time, she grabbed his wrist and stopped him. </p><p>The hairs on the back of his neck stood and he shot her a glare.          “I said…”</p><p>“I am sorry for how I treat you.”  Dara said stoically, her cold eyes sparkling with something that Seonghwa would never understand and he shook his head, but she didn’t shut her poisonous mouth.         “I know. You think that I don’t love you…”</p><p>“Because you don’t.”  Seonghwa’s lips let the truth slip out easily and his heart started beating fast as Dara kept staring at him, released his wrist and just stepped back. </p><p>“Do you realize that if we had lost you, life goes on, Seonghwa. This is the only reason why I lost hope that you will come back.”       It sting and it burned. The words were cutting his old wounds open and Seonghwa’s eyes filled up with anger. </p><p>It wasn’t fair. He was okay with not talking to her, he was okay with her ignorance, her coldness. He was okay to see her smile at Chan and even Jia, but never at him. But he was not okay to listen to that crappy explanation. </p><p>“I was wrong to think that my strong boy will die with the rogues. But nobody comes back from their camps. They brainwash alphas and I knew that even if we take you back, you will be different.”  Dara said and Seonghwa’s fist banged on the table as he laughed sarcastically, nodding at her every word. </p><p>“I was different, wasn’t I? I decided to leave my duty for you just like you left me behind.”  He yelled at the end, noticing how something trembled in Dara’s cool eyes. </p><p>“Seonghwa, you left because you were scared.”</p><p>“I left because I was a killer, mom.”</p><p>“You have healed. I watch your every fight. You proved me wrong, you are still strong.”</p><p>“Of course I will be strong, how on fucking earth do you think I will let these beasts hurt my <em>mate</em>?”  </p><p>Dara’s eyes narrowed at Seonghwa and just then he realized that he was yelling the whole time, panting as if he couldn’t take enough air. It was painful and the urge to go and hide in the bed with Hongjoong became so strong that he actually walked past Dara, heading to the door. </p><p>“You will learn how to love Hongjoong. I told you that he is the perfect match for you. Cold people need someone warm and he has a heart that can beat for you.”  Dara’s words made Seonghwa stop on the doorway and turn, looking like he was on the verge of bursting. </p><p>“I am not like you.”   He said, his voice going low and the anger that he showed to her didn’t even make her flinch. </p><p>“I know my sons, Seonghwa.” Dara folded her arms, sighing deep as if she was already bored.</p><p>Why? Because he didn’t keep fighting her? Because he backed away? </p><p>“You don’t know me. You know nothing about me. But I’m gonna show you…”  He warned, eyes digging holes into her pretty face.           “....I’m gonna show you that you won’t control us.”</p><p>“Us?” she asked. </p><p>“Hongjoong and me. If not for myself, I’m gonna do it for him.”  He said, turning to the door again, but the fucking pang at his heart stopped him again and he bit his lip, desperately trying to hold it back. Hold it all back. But he lost the fight once again.         “I hate you.” He said, without turning.         “I hate you for leaving me behind. I hate you for treating me like shit. I hate you for picking my fate without any remorse. I hate you for making decisions for me and I hate you for never…. never asking me if I am fucking okay. Just…”</p><p>“Seonghwa…”  Dara spoke behind his back, but he shook his head. He couldn’t hear more lies. He couldn’t listen to the truth as well. </p><p>“I am only grateful to you for giving me a chance to meet Hongjoong. The rest…. what I am gonna be like with him, this is up to me. Stop being my shadow if you are never going to love me. It hurts like hell.”  He said and left the room, his tears running down on his face as he was running in one direction, desperately needing just one person. </p><p>His only hope. His sunshine. His reason to be okay. </p><p>He broke into the room like crazy, frantically looking around to spot Hongjoong. The other was resting on his belly, digging into his phone and the sight of his sleepy face, his messy red hair and the most beautiful face in the world was enough to make Seonghwa weak. </p><p>He knew that he was going to shock Hongjoong with his current state, but he didn’t care. He just jumped on the bed, laying on top of the other, burying his face into his neck so he could calm his raging emotions with the mating mark. The scent of roses and rain filled up his nose and he burst into a second wave of tears, feeling how the other was already trying to shove him off. </p><p>“I hate my clan. I fucking hate them, baby, I feel like I can’t even breath here.”  He said angrily, not knowing when and how he was sitting on his butt and when Hongjoong placed himself on his lap, both of his hands on Seonghwa’s face. </p><p>Seonghwa looked up to meet his eyes and he almost regret showing such weak side of himself in front of the other, because Hongjoong looked at him like something terrible had happened. </p><p>“Something is going to happen …. I know that, I know them…. I know how bad they are. And then I will fucking leave with no remorse, I swear to you.”  He said, biting his lips hard after that, because he didn’t want to keep talking. He didn’t want to upset Hongjoong any further. </p><p>For a second there, Hongjoong did not know what to say or do. It was not like he’d seen Seonghwa’s tears before. It was a first for him in that department. </p><p>“Shhh.” He hushed the other as his fingers brushed his mate’s precious face in order to wipe the falling tears. He placed gentle kisses over Seonghwa’s eyelids and cheeks, and nose and jaw. He tried to sooth him without words and by the flow of tears which was not ceasing, Hongjoong felt as the worst mate ever. Who wouldn’t know how to comfort his own mate? It was no excuse that Seonghwa never needed him in that way before. </p><p>His head was a bit dizzy and he could not even focus for longer than couple of seconds over Seonghwa’s face. </p><p>“Come… let’s rest for awhile.” He pulled Seonghwa down and just hugged him, praying that this action would comfort him even just a little bit. </p><p>The switch of his mood was almost ridiculous. Seonghwa felt like a baby that just needed a little gentle caresses in order to stop crying. It was weird what effect Hongjoong had over him and he wanted to show him gratitude for not asking questions when Seonghwa didn’t want to really dwell much into the topic. He hugged the other back and tried to calm down, distract his mind away from Dara and pay attention here, with his mate, in their bed. </p><p>“I was about to bring you food.”  He said angrily, still having small pieces of anger lingeright inside of himself, but most of it was already gone, thanks to Hongjoong’s warmness.          “How can you still feel sleepy, you just woke up.”</p><p>A small smile formed onto Hongjoong’s face          “Boredom makes me sleepy.” He reached with one hand and placed its palm on Seonghwa’s beautiful face.        “Did I tell you today?” </p><p>“What?” Seonghwa asked.</p><p>“That I love you?” Hongjoong closed his eyes, not needing to see the expression which he received every time he said those words. He knew how lost and innocent Seonghwa when he was taken aback by him when he expressed his affection towards him. </p><p>“Screw you.” He got a small pat on the butt as reply and Seonghwa laughed a moment after.       </p><p>“Now?” Hongjoong opened one eye, while he hoped had a smirk on. His head was still dizzy from his previous nap but he knew that if he teased Seonghwa enough … that would make his day better.</p><p>“It was a joke. Look at you, already asleep and still talking about sex. You just don’t give me time to be stupid and sad. Sad, that sounds ….” The other sighed with irritation and just nuzzled his face into Hongjoong’s neck, tangling with him like they were used to, even though both of them hated cuddling and discussed that many times. </p><p>They still needed that type of closeness sometimes and Seonghwa wanted to recall the many mornings that were passing and Hongjoong was wishing to just stay in bed for 5 more minutes. </p><p>He looked tired, but none of them questioned it.</p><p> </p><p>************</p><p> </p><p>The breeze was suffocating that morning. Seonghwa was taking breaths in, but it was never enough. He felt like the oxygen was poisoned even, something was buzzing inside of him, so hard that he couldn’t even sleep lately. </p><p><em>It's been days.</em> Days that Seonghwa felt like something was off.</p><p>Chan had always told Seonghwa stories about how he felt when Jia lost their baby, crying over the phone even when his brother wasn’t having the courage to go back home and console him. Seonghwa couldn’t understand that pain back then, but now he could. </p><p>He could even sniff it on Hongjoong whenever the other snuggled against him, too tired to even have a small conversation with him. </p><p>Seonghwa felt weird, not acknowledging any problem at the first couple of days. He was thinking that Hongjoong was just lazy after their intense fightings and once he was able to rest, the red haired one took advantage of the freedom that they had.</p><p>It wasn’t like that. </p><p>Not when Seonghwa could see the fire in his eyes extinguishing day after day, the faint smile of his alpha’s face was not reaching those pretty eyes and it all seemed… fake. </p><p>“I can’t breath.”  Seonghwa gripped the reiling, watching over the sunset glow, having Yunho beside himself. His keeper was noticing the struggles that Seonghwa had, not only during their trainings but his absent mind during dinners, as Hongjoong was never there. </p><p>“Talk to him. He is your mate, he should listen to you.”  Yunho advised, one hand resting on Seonghwa’s shoulder. </p><p>The other frowned at the red horizon in front of them, biting his bottom lip.        “He is an alpha first, then he is my …. mate.”</p><p>“You hesitate.” Yunho mumbled, keeping his eyes on him. </p><p>“Hongjoong doesn’t even let me bring this shit up.”  Seonghwa pushed the hand of the other and pulled away from the reiling. He tried to think, to connect the dots, set the puzzle, just think of something, anything… but it was like he was always missing a piece. </p><p>Hongjoong was fine…. and then suddenly he wasn’t. The thought that such a strong person could actually go through something and suffer it by himself, was driving Seonghwa crazy. He was back to being selfish, considering the fact that as his mate, Hongjoong was expected to address everything that was going with him, but that was just too selfish. </p><p>At first, Seonghwa thought that Hongjoong was just…. sad. </p><p>Sad, because San’s father got sick out of nowhere, which instantly had the keeper going back to their land along with Mingi. Seonghwa watched how Hongjoong was having that angsty fight by himself and he tried to comfort him with words, actions even, but Hongjoong was assuring him that he was okay…</p><p>Hongjoong was okay… and then suddenly he wasn’t. </p><p>He was waking up dizzy, his permanent frown started to disturb Seonghwa’s peace. Whenever he asked if something was wrong, Hongjoong would snap at him and laugh, or just simply ignore him until they start talking about something else. </p><p>At some point, Seonghwa felt desperate. He started spending less time with his mate, getting angry that Hongjoong was turning into a liar, perfecting his skills to the point that he was smiling, telling Seonghwa that he was fresh and strong, when he was bumping on the doorway of their bathroom, having obvious nausea. </p><p>“Seonghwa, if he needs to see a doctor…” Yunho cut his thoughts and Seonghwa turned to look at him, glaring as if the other just said something absurd.        “What? Have you ever considered that maybe it’s not a mental issue? <em>Hongjoong is not you</em>.”</p><p>“He won’t even fucking let me talk about hospitals. Come on, how do you think an alpha would take a fall like that? To admit that he is weak. Hongjoong would never…” Seonghwa tried to explain, but Yunho was in denial, shaking his head the whole time until he eventually started yelling at Seonghwa. </p><p>“Wake up from this nightmare, dude.” His keeper snapped.          “Hongjoong is a fighter, he is an alpha, but <em>he is not you</em>.”  Yunho’s words had a deeper meaning, Seonghwa’s mind tried to process what the other was trying to say and it sealed his mouth for a moment. </p><p>The angry press of lips was in order to keep himself silent and think. The urge to argue and protect Hongjoong’s pride was strong, but to figure out what was wrong with him was stronger. If Yunho had answers, then Seonghwa was going to put his guards down and listen. </p><p>Yunho was right. Hongjoong was not like Seonghwa. He could feel pain, no matter what kind of pain. </p><p>“I can feel, too.” Seonghwa said, confusing Yunho for only a moment, before the beta tilted his head, obviously impressed by the level of selfishness that Seonghwa had. </p><p>“Well good for you, but we talk about him now, not you. Stop being stubborn and stupid, just acknowledge it. If San was here…”</p><p>
  <em>Okay, wrong move, Yunho.</em>
</p><p>“San is not his mate.”  Seonghwa growled at the other and just right then, Yunho had enough of him.</p><p>“You, idiot, think that I don’t acknowledge your every fucking frown?”  He snapped again, eyes sharp and hurt.          “My life is dedicated to you, and trust me, Seonghwa…”  Yunho was rarely calling him by his name, which meant that he wasn’t just serious now, but angry as well.            “...I will never let anything happen to you. San… San feels the same way and I don’t fucking need to know him so I can confidently state this. San would know if Hongjoong is sick or not.”</p><p>Another growl, Seonghwa’s black locks were falling before his eyes as his head was dangerously lowered, indicating nothing else but anger. He wasn’t sure what pissed him more, the fact that Yunho was bringing out facts about Hongjoong, which were clear to everyone- like how small his relationship with Seonghwa was, or the fact that Yunho just called Hongjoong - <em>sick</em>. </p><p> “And I won’t?”  He snickered, the edges of his lips pulling up in an angry smile.      “Very fucked up statement, Yunho.”</p><p>“You don’t wanna admit it, because you worry. Is it so hard to admit that you actually feel something for him?”  Yunho raised his voice, not even looking intimidated by the expanding fury in front of his eyes. </p><p>Seonghwa’s mind was fogged by some weird feeling, something that wanted to protect him. A false layer of something that secured his current life from another disaster. Yunho was right, he couldn’t admit that Hongjoong was going through something, because once again he was a coward to face his mate and tell him to fucking check up himself. </p><p>And then the worry crushed down on him, destroying that stupid anger in the matter of seconds. His narrowed eyes filled up with hesitation and even if he wasn’t responding to Yunho’s question, the other still stared back at him, maintaining his own feelings. </p><p>“Yunho…”  Seonghwa tried to talk first, but his keeper just made a step back, putting his hands in his pockets. </p><p>“It’s your responsibility to look after him, when San is not here.”  He said quietly.          “I am telling you this as a keeper. It would hurt San to come back here and find another person who doesn’t feel well. If that was me, I would be devastated.”</p><p>“Why are you telling me this?” Seonghwa asked, clearly puzzled. </p><p>“Because Hongjoong would never wish to worry his keeper, knowing that San’s father is not okay. The only reason why Hongjoong is not back at his clan, is because he doesn’t feel well physically. I don’t need to be a doctor to understand.”  Yunho’s dark eyes sparkled with worry and Seonghwa’s heart skipped somewhat hundred beats. </p><p>His frown was the only reaction that he gave to everything that Yunho said and he shut himself up until the other spoke out his every suspicion.</p><p>“Why can’t you see it? I see you standing away from Hongjoong again and I know that it’s because you have no idea what to do. Seonghwa…”  Yunho made him look up again and their eyes met, each look reflecting the other with the same emotion.            “...It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to be worried, it’s okay to feel. Let it happen, but first…. just go to him and make sure that he is okay. Calm yourself down while you fix him.”</p><p>Seonghwa bit his bottom lip, realizing just now that this entire time, he was a selfish coward again. Not addressing a problem, when even his keeper had noticed it. Ignoring his mate, just because the other wasn’t at his right state of mind and body. Leaving him behind when Hongjoong needed his support. </p><p>Seonghwa was so shit that he was sick of himself. </p><p>His nails dig hard into his palms and he squeezed his fists, watching how Yunho’s figure was sulking more and more as the other stood on the doorway of the balcony, not doing anything to leave or lecture him more. </p><p>He didn’t have to, because Seonghwa was just being told everything that he was so badly denying. He had turned into someone who was ignorant and stupid, but the fact that he couldn’t even breath from this burning worry was there, reminding him that he was just a fool.</p><p>“I care…”  Seonghwa breathed out, his nails making holes into his palms from the strength that he was using. </p><p>Yunho stepped closer to him and picked one of his hands, patting the back of it. Just then Seonghwa noticed the small cuts that he had on his palms, but it was still nothing. He felt nothing. Nothing but that twisting emotion that was tearing him apart. </p><p>It wasn’t rejection, because his mark was calm, but it was terrifying. Seonghwa felt like he was on the edge, waiting for something to happen, cautious and nervous. Anxiety was suffocating him and he <em>really </em> had no idea what to do. </p><p>Yunho nodded, giving him a small smile.            “I can see that you do. I’ve never seen you this frustrated. I don’t know…. what it’s like to have a mate, but I know what worry feels like. I know how I feel when I worry about you. I worry now, too. For you and Hongjoong.”</p><p>“Yunho, you are trying to say something and this…. this is freaking me out.”  Seonghwa pulled away and ruffled his hair. He spun on his heels and faced his keeper, his frustration finally finding an end.            “I’m sick of this. Just say it, tell me what the fuck is wrong so I can take care of it, take care of him. I have no idea and I feel like the biggest fool, walking around this mansion as my mate is slowly s-su-su-ffer-ing… upstairs.”  </p><p>The weight of these words shocked not only him, but Yunho as well. If that was what suffocated Seonghwa for the past days, then his mind needed a reboot. Hongjoong was not hurt, he had no deeper cuts after their last round on the Arena, he wasn’t throwing up or something, he had no fever, but damn, he looked like he was holding a fight by himself that he couldn’t win without having a back up. </p><p>His back up, <em>Seonghwa</em>, refused to help and it was beyond stupid for a mated couple to act like that. It was again, Seonghwa’s fault. </p><p>“I’ve had enough.”  Seonghwa turned around suddenly, having a new purpose in life. To confront Hongjoong and drag him to the hospital by force.  That was what a real mate would do, that was what his keeper would do. That was what <em>everyone </em>would do. </p><p>“Just show your feelings, dude.” Yunho called after him.           “Just talk to him.”</p><p>Seonghwa was deaf again, walking madly, trying to scent his mate, but that only made his body tense with anger. Even his scent was faint, lingering in the air as if Hongjoong was soon going to disappear. The frightening feeling that this could happen was making it even harder for Seonghwa to focus, but he followed the scent like a mad dog, storming into their room. </p><p>He was breathless, searching for his mate with wild eyes and burning chest. And damn, when he spotted Hongjoong, sitting on the bed, Seonghwa lost it. </p><p>He approached the other like a mad person, falling on his knees in front of Hongjoong. The other looked startled by Seonghwa, his lips parted as if to ask him something, but before he could even make a sound, Seonghwa kissed him. </p><p>That kiss was everything. Everything that he had, felt, experienced. He put so much emotions, transferring them to his mate as if that was going to fix everything. </p><p>When the air wasn’t enough again, Seonghwa pulled back and his hands frantically touched Hongjoong’s face. His pale face. </p><p>“I care…” Seonghwa confessed, probably for the first time.          “Fuck, I care about you so damn much. You have no idea… but this is killing me right now.”</p><p>Hongjoong had to grasp Seonghwa for his shoulders in order not to stumble down from the strain which the kiss had pulled from him. </p><p>“What do you mean?” The red haired one’s words were just a tad forced, Seonghwa could clearly hear it.  </p><p>“Are you okay, baby?” Seonghwa asked, his eyes studying the other’s face. For a moment there, he had no idea if Hongjoong was looking at him or he was ready to close his eyes, so his hands slid down to his shoulders. He shook Hongjoong as if to sober him up, but the other just looked exactly that tired.           “Listen, you can trust me, right?” The question was more desperate than pleading.        “Let me take care of you.”</p><p>“Seonghwa..” </p><p>The other’s ears perked, his eyes rolled up to meet Hongjoong’s ones and keep the arguement until he agreed to listen to what Seonghwa was suggesting. But there was no time for that. </p><p>Hongjoong was falling, the realization struck Seonghwa only a second after he started feeling the weight of his mate, sliding down from the bed. He caught him, heart beating fast against his ribcage and his eyes widening to the sight of Hongjoong’s closed ones. </p><p>Suddenly, what he’d dismissed for more than a week escalated to the point where he really couldn’t do anything. And the burning anger was turning into a hatred, emotion that he had kept away from himself for a long time. </p><p>A low growl escaped his lips and he pulled his phone out, making another decision as he absently called out a number. </p><p>He wasn’t going to let anyone touch Hongjoong ever again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sooo this fic is getting close to end, we are writing the sequell now, but we are kind of not rushing it, because we want to develope the plot and also build up our characters some more xD<br/>Share your thoughts with us, pleaseee &lt;3<br/>Also, we write another fic along with this one and its sooo fun to write hahaha <br/>See you soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Patience.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Last chapter! sob sob</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    <b>Chapter 11</b>
  </span>
</p><p>The next time Hongjoong opened his eyes it was two whole days after his seizure, which had left him like a sleeping beauty. His closed eyes never took a note of the frantic whisperings or the worried voices which had searched for answers. His senses did not acknowledge <span>anyone</span> neither his mate, his keeper or brother. No one’s pleas to wake up did the trick and his eyes remained closed. </p><p>The only <span>consolation</span> for Seonghwa were the doctor’s words that Hongjoong was okay, dehydrated but other than that - stable. </p><p>At those words San was the first one to react and require to know what <em>‘stable’ </em>had to mean when the other was still lifeless, laying on bed. </p><p>The doctor had taken a knowing look at the keeper and just assured him that Hongjoong was out of danger. Apparently<span>,</span> he just needed to gain his strength back. </p><p>Those words<span>,</span> however<span>,</span> brought more and more questions and Mingi was out of his mind from <span>anxiety</span>, jumping at everyone<span> -</span> beside<span>s</span> San and Seonghwa<span>,</span> who dared to even pass the closed door of the room<span> where Hongjoong was</span>. </p><p>Hongjoong had been poisoned. </p><p>Poisoned. </p><p>Who’d do such thing? </p><p>That was the more pressing question, but even that did not beat the desire for Hongjoong to <span>come</span> back.</p><p>And once his eyes opened, San felt like he wanted to cry at the sight of it. The red-head looked like he had troubles <span>with</span> keep his eyes open, as if his eyelids weighted tons. </p><p>“Joong?” The keeper’s voice was dripping with too many suppressed feelings. </p><p>At the sound of his familiar voice, Hongjoong turned his head aside.</p><p>“You’re back?” <span>He</span> asked raspy<span>,</span> while the edges of his lips tried to pull up in sad excuse of a smile. San could not unsee how wasted Hongjoong looked, how he’d lost weight, how unhealthy his skin seemed, as if it hadn’t seen sunlight for months. </p><p>The keeper could not believe how all of this had happened in the matter of days. Only because he had not been beside Hongjoong to take care of him, to keep him safe.</p><p>How could he keep his position next to Hongjoong when he failed in the one mission he had? How could he guard, watch and protect the alpha from now on when he abandoned his duty only for couple of days and <em>this</em> happened? </p><p>“You’ve slept through the spectacular homecoming.” San joked through the large bump that had stuck in his throat. </p><p>“I did?” Hongjoong was still dizzy but tried to follow up with the conversation. </p><p>“Do you feel alright? I can call the doctor?” San was almost on his feet, with the intention to really drag the older guy back to the alphas’ room and take another throughout check of the red-head. He <span>hadn’</span>t <span>kept</span> much faith in the doctor’s words in the beginning, but during those two days when he was taking care of Hongjoong, the doctor had done numerous tests, changed couple of banks with medicine which was slowly but steadily bringing the red-haired back to them.  </p><p>“What doctor?” H<span>ongjoong’s </span>words were slurry and that made San’s chest clench even tighter. </p><p>“You fainted on Seonghwa, so he acted as a mate for the first time and called for help.”  San could not hide the sarcasm in his voice. Now<span>,</span> that Hongjoong was awake<span>,</span> he had to come up with a nice strategy how he was going to explain himself and his reasons for attacking Seonghwa the second he’d run back to this fucked up mansion, <span>only to see </span>his dear friend plastered on a bed, connected to beeping machines with needles plugged to his veins and all.  His instincts had directed San then. </p><p>“Seonghwa? Where’s he?” Just at the mention of his mate, Hongjoong’s eyes gained gloss and sparkled.</p><p>Now, that was even better question, San bitterly thought. </p><p>Seonghwa had barely show<span>n</span> his nose in the room ever since the machines were removed. But the distress which had been written on his face made it clear <span>to</span> San how much the situation affected the alpha. </p><p>“What now? You have mate and you don’t care about me? Am I not good enough?” San joked<span>,</span> in order to lighten the mood and he knew that this was not for Hongjoong’s sake but his own. </p><p>He felt so overwhelmed with watching over Hongjoong’s sleeping face for those 48 hours that he needed to hear him speaking, to reassure himself that he was really fine. That he was really here.</p><p>“You’re my sunshine. You’re my laugher. You’re my…” Hongjoong started but was dismissed in seconds.</p><p>“Stop it. The cringe is real.” No matter his words, San moved from his sitting position and laid down next to the alpha. An action he had not felt the need to do since their younger years, when they’d talked about anything and everything in the same time. When they shared their dreams and biggest fears. A silent tear finally dropped down. He’d kept it together, he remained stoic and relentless<span>,</span> while guarding the exposed and unshielded form of the alpha, during his lowest moment, and now he could go back to his righteous position. </p><p>“Care to explain why you’re so emotional?” San could feel the vibrations from the alpha’s voice through his own body and that only made him shiver more. </p><p>“Someone poisoned you, Joong.” There was no reason for him to hide what was going on. Hongjoong needed to know the truth. </p><p>Hongjoong reached and touched San’s face.          “So that’s the reason…”</p><p>“You didn’t tell anything to Seonghwa… you didn’t tell me.” And here it was the biggest problem for the keeper. Hongjoong not only remained silent when he clearly noticed the change in his own state, but he also did not seek help from anyone. </p><p>He had not even seek San when he needed him. </p><p>“Look… it’s nothing I could not handle.” Hongjoong was gaining his strength and it was noticeable by the way he spoke. His voice was more certain now, did not waver. It was <span>almost </span>stable. </p><p>“Really? Do you know how you look like?”  San asked and leaned on his elbow, so he could stare at his friend’s eyes.         “You’re a ghost. And you look better than two days ago, trust me.” </p><p>“Seonghwa saw me like that?” </p><p>“Oh my God.” San lost it and got up from the bed.           “When you mated you what… lost your ability to think?”  The keeper started pacing around the bed.            “Someone in close proximity wanted to get rid off you and the only thing you want to know is whether <em>he </em>saw you looking like shit? Yes, he did.”</p><p>Hongjoong dared to laugh. He’s unbelievable, San thought. </p><p>But that was way better than to be with closed eyes, a step closer to nothingness than to the present life. </p><p>“I missed you, you stubborn alpha.” </p><p>And as if that finally made Hongjoong think. San could see the wheels twirling in his head literally. </p><p>The red haired dismissed the keeper after that, stating that he needed time to refresh himself. Hongjoong felt better than he’d been for weeks. Now that San had shared with him the reason why he felt so down<span> and</span> under the weather, he knew why he’d acted the way he did. He’d been pushing Seonghwa away from himself as he didn’t want for his mate to see him in such state. He refused to believe that something could bring him down. That was not the card that he’d presented himself with when he mated to Seonghwa. </p><p>During their time together, Hongjoong had used every second to remind Seonghwa how strong he was, how unbeatable he was. How he was able to protect him, to give him what the other needed and seeked. He’d lowered all his walls, opened up for Seonghwa as if nothing else mattered. He’d been doing what he dreamed of for years - he was winning on the arena with a mate beside him with whom he’d celebrated afterwards. </p><p>And for what? </p><p>For an illness to take everything away from him. </p><p>Or at least that was what Hongjoong had thought. </p><p>Now, he felt more like himself, even if slightly. He knew that he’d need a few more days to be back on his best, but that was way better that the dark thoughts that’d been haunting him before. </p><p>He remembered his last conversation with Seonghwa … the words he’d finally said. </p><p>Seonghwa cared. He’d admitted it. He wanted to take care of him because he <em>cared for him</em>. Those words meant so much for Hongjoong that he was sure that he’d lost consciousness because of their intensity. He might have kept silent, he might have pushed Seonghwa with his own words back then, but on the back of his mind there always remained the slight hope that his mate would notice him. </p><p>He’d been that weak. So not himself to the point to seek his mate’s attention in the worst way possible. </p><p>And the moment when he received it - he’d lost it. </p><p>The fear of closing his eyes was too recent for Hongjoong </p><p>His pride was not what kept him silent, no. </p><p>It was his need of Seonghwa. </p><p>His need to know that Seonghwa really, really cared. Not because he was an alpha. Not because he was a fighter. Not because he was his mate. But because he was Hongjoong. </p><p>Hongjoong would never admit that to anyone. How low he’d gotten. </p><p>Was it manipulative? Was it wrong? Was it pure hazard? </p><p>Yes, yes and yes. </p><p>Did he regret it? </p><p>On lobby legs Hongjoong stood from the bed. He took couple of unsteady steps and went to the bathroom. When he noticed his reflection <span>in the mirror, </span>it was like a scary image of himself. All his previous radiance was dulled from his face. </p><p>Shame flooded into him like a stormy wave - strong and fierce. </p><p>Guilt started eating him up. </p><p>When exactly did he lose himself to the point that he gambled with his own life? Was it back on the cliff when he’d first felt rejected by his mate? Was it during that time when he’d had Seonhwa shiver under him for the first time on the bench, in the garden’s gazebo? Was it when Seonghwa had opened up to him while they were visiting the Kims? </p><p>Or it all began when Hongjoong had first took Seonghwa’s hand at their engagement night and felt how Seonghwa cringed by his mere touch?</p><p>Was it then and there that Hongjoong decided to mould Seonghwa the way he liked him to? </p><p>For one thing he would not take the blame though … he’d made it clear to Seonghwa what he wanted from the first second he laid his eyes on the man. </p><p>He wanted the name. He wanted the status. He wanted the rights<span>,</span> which came with them both. </p><p>Seonghwa knew it but nevertheless decided to trust him and even seeked Hongjoong’s trust as well. </p><p>Did Hongjoong play his cards well? - Yes, he did. </p><p>Did he feel like he betrayed Seonghwa? - In a way. </p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Patience. </p><p>Who the fuck liked to wait? Certainly not the five people who stood in the library on Seonghwa’s floor at the mansion. The poisonous presence of his mother, along with his worried father, was just making Seonghwa feel like he was living in a dream, a nightmare. </p><p>Having his parents around in a time like this was just pulling the trigger inside of his head. He had no idea if he had even rested for the past two days, but he ended up staying with his mother just the previous night, silently begging her for solace. </p><p>Dara didn’t say anything. She only let him lay his head on her lap and accepted his confusion. Her long fingers stroked his hair and for once… Seonghwa felt like he was at one level with her. </p><p>‘<em>Whoever did this is going to pay for it</em>’ she promised him, filling his head up with the only thing that Seonghwa didn’t want to live with. </p><p>Revenge. </p><p>Revenge to the one who had poisoned his mate. Revenge for the person who dared to weaken Hongjoong. </p><p>The doctor had stated it was a poisoning once that he took a look over Hongjoong and strictly took care of him. Seonghwa was like a ghost during that day, only existing in the room, watching how people were coming in and out of their shared room with Hongjoong, putting infusions into his weakened body, putting hope inside of Seonghwa that he would wake up and be okay. </p><p>Yunho came back with San and Ming at some point. Seonghwa was tired of watching over Hongjoong’s sleeping form, so he went outside on their sacred place in the garden and stoned himself hard enough to forget. </p><p>Not only that he didn’t, but he was three times worse when he came back on the next morning, only to see that Hongjoong wasn’t awake. The fucked up sight of his parents surrounding Hongjoong’s bed was playing games with his nerves, but he figured that they only faked worry because Hongjoong was a very important figure in their game. The main role was given to him, so he wasn’t supposed to be weak and faint. </p><p>Dara was purely worried, even taking care of her poor crazy son who could find no rest while Hongjoong was still unconscious. But the revenge that Seonghwa and his mother were silently settling was dangerous. </p><p>The one who had poisoned Hongjoong was a member of their clan. </p><p>The one who had poisoned Hongjoong was someone who dared to cause pain to him. Someone who dared to harm him. Someone who wished to die. </p><p>On the third morning, Seonghwa needed Eden and Yunho. Mostly because he couldn’t maintain the anger anymore. He had no idea what feeling was lingering inside of him anymore. He was betrayed, disappointed, frustrated, fucked up and mostly… he <em>missed </em>Hongjoong. </p><p>He missed him to the point of madness. </p><p>The burning worry in his chest was engulfing his anxiety and Seonghwa was sure that if Hongjoong didn’t wake up in the next two days, he was going to kill someone. </p><p>The only people who could prevent him from going berserk, were Yunho and Eden, who glued to him for the whole day, until Dara showed up with the news that the doctor came with the blood results of Hongjoong’s tests. </p><p>And he confirmed it. One word was enough for Seonghwa to accept the fact that he could show justice by performing the most brutal act. </p><p>Kill…. he really wanted to kill.</p><p>“<em>Silver</em>.”</p><p>There was a growl, leaving Seonghwa’s lips. Eden put a hand on his shoulder and gripped it, but he only felt how Seonghwa’s whole body was shaking. </p><p>“He was given silver, consuming it until it eventually killed cells in his blood and that weakened him to the point of losing his consciousness. The therapy that he is given will let him recover fast and he should wake up once that his blood is clean from the silver.” The doctor explained, nobody responded anything while he was talking as their respect was showing, well at least before Seonghwa started to act like an animal, growling deep and low. The startled doctor looked at him and cleared his throat.          “You should address it. Such poisoning is….”</p><p>“I know what to do, Doctor Han. Thank you for your good service once again.”  Dara shut the man off with a fake smile, standing up to walk the doctor out of the room. </p><p>Taecyeon followed quietly, looking disturbed and probably angry, but who could blame him? There was a fucked up traitor who wished Seonghwa and his mate unfortunate future. </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes met the ones of his mother, the two of them exchanging similar glares until she averted her eyes from him and walked out of the room along with the doctor and Taecyeon. </p><p>Before the door could close, Seonghwa heard them discussing the issue, Hongjoong’s state, talking as if it wasn’t a big problem anymore. As if they calmed down after they were told that Hongjoong would recover fast and be able to fight if there were new challenges for the Arena. </p><p>And Seonghwa felt sick of all of that. All of them, this fucking mansion and everything about it. His family once again showed how disgusting and fucked up they were, poisoning their own for a purpose that nobody would ever know. </p><p>What was Hongjoong’s fault? Why would any Park want him weakened or dead? Why didn’t they touch Seonghwa, the coward who ran away and ditched the Parks? </p><p>Why not him but Hongjoong? </p><p>The anger boiled inside of him with such force that it gave him no rest. In times like that, Seonghwa’s rational way of thinking was dismissed, his primitive instincts were taking control and the fact that his clan betrayed him made him turn to his keeper and Eden with words that had never left his lips. </p><p>“I can’t ….”  He hissed, kicking the glass table in front of himself so hard that it slid against the floor and hit the wall, shattering into pieces. Seonghwa burst along with it.         “I can’t fucking stand it. I can’t be here. Look at me. This is… this is not me.”</p><p>Eden was in front of him in the matter of seconds, hands on the sides of Seonghwa’s head and just then he realized that he was fighting something in his anger, realizing that it was Yunho only when he saw the cut on his keeper’s cheek. Yunho didn’t look hurt, but his eyes looked worriedly at him. </p><p>Seonghwa knew what the keeper was thinking. He was thinking that Seonghwa would embrace the madness again. That state of mind was his resque. It was the only way that he appeared strong. To kill was the only way to rule inside of this fucking house. </p><p>“I know. This treason is …. it's happening for the first time, even for us.” Eden tried to calm him down, but Seonghwa was shaking with rage, ready to blow up at whoever stood on his way. His trainer would never let him do that, that was why Seonghwa trusted him.  </p><p>“I hate this clan, I hate everything about it.” Seonghwa kept repeating, rolling his eyes at the door when someone’s scent hit his nose and he frowned. </p><p>Chan and Jia. </p><p>The only two people who hadn’t showed up in front of him for the past two days. Ever since Hongjoong fell into his arms and Seonghwa fell into a dark nightmare with no escape. Jia and Chan, who never went to check up on Hongjoong, despite the fact that he was important to them as much as he was for Dara and Taecyeon. </p><p>The whole clan depended on Hongjoong’s condition and yet, Jia and Chan were hiding. </p><p>The wildness of Seonghwa’s mind was expanding and he pushed Eden back, stepping towards his brother. His fists gripped something, it was some fucking vaze, but he still threw it against Chan, who avoided the hit and stared at him. </p><p>“Where the fuck were you two?”  Seonghwa accused, even though that he himself was lost and messed up, he couldn’t recall a time that he spotted Chan nearby.</p><p>The moment when their eyes met, Seonghwa’s heart sunk. The betrayal threatened to fill up his heart and he felt confused. Confused by the way that Chan was looking at him. </p><p>He looked at Seonghwa as if he <em>knew</em>. </p><p>“Seonghwa, I …. I heard of what…”  Chan was stuttering, another indication that he was hiding something. </p><p>The confusion grew more as Seonghwa’s eyes rolled to Jia, just to witness a deep frown on her pretty face. His chest ached, and he knew that it was just another emotion that tried to break his walls. </p><p>“Don’t.” Jia said, eyes coldly staring at Seonghwa.         “I will confess.”</p><p>“I had no idea… you must trust me, Seonghwa, I had no idea.” Chan was talking fast, but just a growl from Yunho’s side shut him up. </p><p>Seonghwa’s keeper took his side, determination streaming out of Yunho as he was ready to protect his boy at all cost. Eden took Seonghwa’s left side and stared at the couple in front of them with narrowed eyes. </p><p>Seonghwa? He had no idea that what he was about to hear was going to really make him leave.</p><p>“I did it.”  When Jia said that, Seonghwa’s hands clenched into fists. The low growl that erupted from his throat wasn’t warning. It was a clear threat. That did not stop her from talking.            “Listen to me, Seonghwa.”  Jia’s voice raised high. </p><p>“So it was you who did it?” Eden spoke through gritted teeth. For the first time ever, he was showing a real emotion.           “Do you realize the risk that you put Hongjoong through? I was keeping an eye on him, noticing that he was getting in a bad condition whenever he went down to eat in the dining hall, but damn, I could never guess that you would dare to fucking harm him, <em>you crazy bitch!”</em></p><p>The way that Eden addressed it sounded like there was something going on before Seonghwa even showed up on the horizon. And the fact that he couldn’t think straight anymore, wasn’t going to help him find answers. </p><p>He couldn’t speak though, but the building up madness inside of him was promising to explode very soon. Seonghwa needed a reason. He needed to know <em>why</em>?</p><p>“Eden…” Chan tried to pull Jia back, worry written all over his face. <em>So he knew as well? He was aware too</em>? </p><p>“I didn’t lose my baby so I can be replaced, Eden.” Jia yelled, her eyes glowing with the same madness that Seonghwa’s ones were staring at her. But wasn’t that just sick? To hear that  Jia risked her baby’s life for the Arena. It was another sign, another example of how twisted everyone who lived in the Parks house was. </p><p>“I couldn’t stand the fact that Chan and I will be replaced. Degraded.”  Pain. Every word that Jia said was like a nail to Seonghwa’s heart. He felt how his chest was burning, he felt how this nightmare was promising to gulp him whole, but he still needed to hear more. </p><p>“When Dara told me, I couldn’t let it happen. I was okay, I am okay.” Jia kept yelling, the only person who confronted her was Eden. Eden who obviously suspected something from the start. </p><p>“Were you taking your <em>pills</em>?” Eden fired back, eyes rolling on Chan.         “Was she? Were you taking care of her, Chan? She seemed fine, but it was only a fucked up facade so she could approach Hongjoong and fucking poison him!”</p><p>“She went crazy?”  Yunho’s question was reflecting the same thing that Seonghwa wanted to ask as well. </p><p>He wasn’t aware that Jia had gone crazy with the loss of her baby. He had no idea that she was taking pills, feeling herself as a queen of that fucked up clan. Who the fuck was Seonghwa to stand on her way? And who the fuck was that boy who came into the house to steal her spot? </p><p>“She was…. I thought that she was okay.”  Chan tried to pull her back, obviously feeling sorry for his wife’s mad decisions. He wasn’t the one to blame, everyone knew that.<em> To reason your mate could be a hard thing</em>, Chan himself had repeated that to Seonghwa years ago.  Just now Seonghwa realized what those words meant. </p><p>And he had enough of this. </p><p>“You have no idea….”  Seonghwa spoke for the first time, his palms already bleeding by the hard grip that he had of his fists. The only pain that he felt was at his heart as the realization that his own clan fucked up his entire life suddenly made him laugh.           “You have no idea how much I hate all of you. You… and you.”  he looked from Chan to Jia, ignoring both of their reactions. He couldn’t care anymore.           “You dragged me down to this…. you took me back from the only place that I felt safe….”  </p><p>“You don’t understand, you selfish bastard.”  Jia yelled, but Seonghwa silenced her with a mad glare. Even she backed away once that his eyes sparkled in crimson. </p><p>“You forced me out of my fucking hole and threw Hongjoong at me. Do you know how scared I felt to be mated to a stranger? Do you have any idea how it feels like?”  Seonghwa was the one yelling now, pouring his heart out of frustration.        “Damn, I felt like everything was crumbling down. And you knew that I couldn’t fight, you knew, Jia, Chan, you fucking know … you saved me from that hell, why would you bring the hell back to me?”  Seonghwa’s eyes sparkled with tears, as he was shaking, staring at Chan who looked like he was about to burst into tears as well. </p><p>“You weren’t supposed to fight. I expected you to just back off and be scared. You were hurt, you were not meant to fight!”  Jia’s voice was piercing Seonghwa’s ears and he closed his eyes, because he was sure that if he looked at her, he was going to silence her forever. </p><p>However, something made him face the female alpha and when he did, his emotions burst out painfully.         “Do you know how it feels like to watch your mate fight and feel powerless? Do you know what this fear can do to you? No, because you were the one who never cared, right?”</p><p>“You know nothing about feelings, your mating was fake.” Jia yelled, crushing more and more from the previous relationship that she had with Seonghwa. </p><p>He felt like he didn’t know her. Like there was someone else standing in front of him. And he realized one more time that as he left his clan two years ago, he cut all connections with them. </p><p>He didn’t see a friend in Jia anymore, or family. He saw an enemy. Someone who dared to harm Hongjoong. And for him…. for him Seonghwa wanted to kill. </p><p>No matter what was going on between him and Hongjoong, no matter how weak their connection was, no one was having the right to stop him from developing more with the other alpha, no one had the right to put a line between them, separate them right before they could build up something. </p><p>And damn, the fact that Jia could kill Hongjoong in her madness brought up something in Seonghwa’s head that fucked him up completely. </p><p>
  <em>Hongjoong could die, feeling unvalued. </em>
</p><p>And that was something that would follow Seonghwa to his last breath. </p><p>“Because of you I feel.” Seonghwa yelled, stepping towards her, only to get dragged back by both Yunho and Eden.         “Because of you, bitch, I wouldn’t have time to grow with Hongjoong, because of your fucking envy and whatever the fuck made you give Hongjoong silver.”</p><p>“Oh come on, like he can die.” Jia yelled back, Chan holding her as well. </p><p>“I’d kill all of you, because you know, I was a <em>killer</em> Jia, I didn’t wanna come back here and I didn’t wanna be given someone to love. I didn’t want Hongjoong...”   Seonghwa’s emotions were pouring out and he felt the struggle of his keeper and Eden, who were keeping him away from hurting the female alpha.              “But now you can’t take something away from me, just a month after giving it to me. <em>You can’t break me, only to break me more</em>.”</p><p>“Seonghwa, calm down.”   Chan spoke, but Seonghwa was deaf. </p><p>He had enough of this. </p><p>“You can’t control me.”  Seonghwa said, surprising everyone with the change of course that he suddenly took.          “You can’t rule my life, thinking that you can play games with me, poisoning Hongjoong as if he is a useless trophy of this house. What, you felt like he shone more than you? You felt like he was stronger than you? Then face him and try killing him that way, you coward.”  </p><p>Jia’s eyes sparkled, something flashing there for a moment. Seonghwa’s blank mind couldn’t process it so he just continued, knowing that this would be the last fucking night that he would spend in that fucked up house. </p><p>For a second there, he really wanted to laugh at himself. </p><p>Park Seonghwa, the alpha heir of the Parks. The 20 years old boy who got taken by rogues, tortured to the point of killing. The boy who was scared to be an alpha, because his alpha was a monster. The same Park Seonghwa who fell in a one sided love. The same Seonghwa who was forced to mate in order to help his brother out. The brother who didn’t stop his wife from poisoning Seonghwa’s mate. That Park Seonghwa was hurt again, falling into a false wonderland where he just started to accept Hongjoong and the fights at the Arena. That Park Seonghwa was stabbed at the back by his own clan. That Park Seonghwa didn’t care if the harm against Hongjoong was big or no. The fact that Jia had tried to weaken him and hurt him was enough for Park Seonghwa to finally give up. </p><p>“You win.”  He told Jia, shrugging off everyone so he could finally leave that damned room.          “I don’t wanna be a <em>Park</em> anymore. I don’t wanna be here, so you win.”</p><p>With that, Seonghwa left the room.</p><p>His emotions dragged him through the corridor, some voices reaching his hearing, but nothing mattered. The outcome of that conversation left a hole open in his chest and he seeked for something to fill it up. </p><p>Seonghwa felt a hand on his biceps, but he shrugged the person, as he was too overwhelmed by everything that just happened to have another conversation. </p><p>He just broke into his room with Hongjoong and finally broke down. </p><p>The hideout was safe, but it felt empty. As if there was nothing to kick away the pain and everything else that weakened Seonghwa to the point that he slid down on the door and cupped his face to hide his breakdown from his sleeping mate. </p><p>Seonghwa was so absorbed into his own pain, that he did not notice that his mate was no longer sleeping on their bed. He did not hear the dulled tapping of bare foot on the carpeted floor. He almost brushed off the cold hands that carrassed his tear stricken face. </p><p>“Seonghwa, why are you crying, baby?” Then he heard the voice that he’d been missing. </p><p>Seonghwa’s eyes opened and the blurred image of Hongjoong’s face showed right in front of him. He had no idea if what he felt was joy anymore, because it sting the same way as everything else. But he broke into laughter as his emotions exploded in another wave of tears, but he just shrugged, feeling too defeated to even talk. </p><p>When and how Hongjoong woke up was a mystery, but he thought about something, even in a moment like that - Hongjoong was strong enough to wake up before his treatment finished, which made him shine even more in his eyes. He was strong, stronger than anyone in that fucked up house and Seonghwa just reminded himself of another fact.</p><p>“You… don’t belong here.”  He said, reaching out to touch the Hongjoong’s pale face.          “We …. we can’t be free here.”</p><p>Hongjoong’s thumbs were trying to brush the falling tears from Seonghwa’s eyes. </p><p>A long minute passed until Hongjoong said something. And when he did, he did with a small smile on his face.</p><p>“I belong with you ... and you belong with me. The ‘<em>where</em>’ … doesn’t matter really.” Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa towards himself and kept him close, in a hug that said more than words. </p><p>“I am…”  Seonghwa spoke again, stuttering because of his crying, hating the fact that he appeared weak and fucked up in front of Hongjoong for another moment. It made him suck it up again, just like the first time. No matter how hard it was for him to hold back two broken pieces of himself, he counted on Hongjoong to put them back together. As he returned the hug, Seonghwa trusted Hongjoong. He held the other as hard as he was capable of and they silently sealed another promise that none of them was going to voice out. </p><p>“I am hurt.”  Seonghwa said, laughing out again, his nose digging into the side of Hongjoong’s neck where the reminder of what he was forced to do was plastered, that beautiful mark became the only thing that he really wanted to believe in.          “You know, I told you that I make decisions for myself when I feel like that. I left once and now…”</p><p>“Then ... let’s be free together.” Hongjoong finished Seonghwa’s sentence before the other could do it. No matter the circumstances that brought the two of them together, they could never split now. And a mate’s wish could not be easily ignored. Not when it was so sincere, so imperative for one’s existence. </p><p>And Seonghwa could not exist in that place. He could not even take one breath under that roof anymore. He no longer felt safe here. He needed a way out. </p><p>And Hongjoong was ready to provide. </p><p>“Hongjoong, I want your name.”  Seonghwa replied, pulling away from the other’s comfort so he could meet his eyes. The moment when it happened, he once again couldn’t tell what he saw in Hongjoong’s eyes. Was it surprise, hesitation, disbelief? Was he curious, what was it? It only urged him to press further and he wiped his eyes in order to appear stronger and more composed. It was a decision of another way out. But also a decision that could affect Hongjoong’s clan in the future. It was a risk.            “I want us to go to your side and fight for your clan. Power, that was what you wanted. For you, I will fight. I give you my word. But this is my condition, I want your name. Your status, I wanna be a Kim from now on.”</p><p>Seonghwa literally felt the shivers which ran through Hongjoong’s body once his message made it through. </p><p>“If that is what you really want… let’s do it.” </p><p>Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong, as this time he distinguished something in his eyes. The flame was burning with the same power as before and the determination spread all over the pretty face of his mate. </p><p>He nodded, Hongjoong followed and both of them leaned closer, resting their foreheads together. </p><p>It might be the Parks that brought the two of them together … but the Kims were going to mould them from now on .. into the mated ones which they’d become. </p><p><em>Revenge</em>. </p><p>Seonghwa didn’t like the word that crossed his mind once that his eyes closed and he let himself feel again. His decisions were going to backfire, but for once, he wasn’t going to be the weak alpha who ran out of responsibilities. </p><p>He was going to fight, but for someone who mattered. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>THE END.</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And this is how part 1 of these series will finish! END. <br/>We are so glad that many people liked this, commented through chapters and followed other stories of ours. Thank you so much for appreciating our work. <br/>So no sad words, because this fic actually has an on going second part that we currently write, cuz we are biased with our own characters xD<br/>When we create the second part I guess you should bookmark the series in order to see or whatever xD<br/>We hope that you will follow us there! thank you and much love &lt;3</p><p>Last - Jia is such a b*tch xD crazy one at that. <br/>Imagine what happens when we put our lovely couple on the Kim's territory ! XD <br/>The Wooyoung mistery is getting transferred to the second part hahaha you all waited to see him appear here but that part was all about developing feelings between Seonghwa and Joong. Next part though.... <br/>Wait and see! &lt;3 bye.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>